I've been spending some time with the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and many ideas covered inside are extremely clarifying. Now the most amazing thing about the information is that the book's words aren't revolutionary; just clarifying. From what I have learned, I can say that it is a wonderful road to self-discovery, ethics, and confidence. One lesson that I thought was particularly interesting was Proactivity.
Proactivity is the excericising the right to choose; to take responsibilty over blaming. Proactive people choose their paths in life, rather than walk paths unvieled by family, friends, or pop culture. Instead of being pushed and pulled by obligations and "have-tos", proactive people delegate time and prioritize responsibilities as they see fit. Instead of fawning over possessions they can't afford, proactive people do what they can while making financial plans to purchase things they need and want.
In essence, proactivity is taking responsibility-- response-ability. Humans are naturally gifted with intelligence and the ability to respond the way that is appropriate to an individual's principles and beliefs. This doesn't mean there is no emotion; it means that proactive people can feel emotion and respond however they wish.
Here's some examples of proactivity:
1. A man walks up to a woman and attempts to start a conversation. The woman, however, puts up her "***** shield". After some persistence, the woman becomes less interested and walks away.
Reactive guys simply flake out, give up, and allow their feelings of rejection, fear, and inadequacy to cripple them in further interactions with women.
Proactive guys indentify the above feelings, but also realize two important things. All of the woman's experiences up to that moment have conditioned her interactions with men. That means she could have been having a bad day, might have been raised not to talk to strangers, or herself been rejected recently. Secondly, she might not like you. That means she doesn't like you. No trick can change that. It isn't a possible hook-up. Proactive guys understand that whatever the reason, an unsuccessful approach can or can't affect the next.
2. A student and job holder is being pressured at final exam time. If the student doesn't work, he can't pay for tuition. If the student doesn't study, he fails his classes.
Reactive: "If only I had more time." "I have to work." "I have to study".
Proactive: "I have the time I have, what do I choose to do with it?" "I prioritize work so I can continue school." "I prioritize studying so that I can pass this class."
See the difference? Reactive people are pushed and pulled by the forces of the universe, "just barely holding on" . Proactivity is responisibility (response-ABILITY). Proactive people make informed decisions based on their principles and beliefs, and they are their own master.
Proactive people also focus on things in their control, either directly or indirectly. Things out of their control are just that- out their control. Attempting to control things that aren't possible to control is like- I don't know- attempting to climb Mt. Everest without a rope or something.
Finally, one must have to a good core to excercise proactivity from. I'll summarize this part from the book. It makes no sense to be a proactive thief or murderer, right? So one must make sure that his actions flow from a core based on principles. Principles include right and wrong, love, process(doing things the right way without shortcuts), consenquences, truth, and others. Many people walk around with nothing inside them, no indentifiable set of beliefs and no vision of what they want to see themselves as. The essence of proactivity is to make your choices in congruence with who you are.
My diction may not do the book justice. But try this book. It is well worth the money for its own way to self discovery and enlightenment.
Proactivity is the excericising the right to choose; to take responsibilty over blaming. Proactive people choose their paths in life, rather than walk paths unvieled by family, friends, or pop culture. Instead of being pushed and pulled by obligations and "have-tos", proactive people delegate time and prioritize responsibilities as they see fit. Instead of fawning over possessions they can't afford, proactive people do what they can while making financial plans to purchase things they need and want.
In essence, proactivity is taking responsibility-- response-ability. Humans are naturally gifted with intelligence and the ability to respond the way that is appropriate to an individual's principles and beliefs. This doesn't mean there is no emotion; it means that proactive people can feel emotion and respond however they wish.
Here's some examples of proactivity:
1. A man walks up to a woman and attempts to start a conversation. The woman, however, puts up her "***** shield". After some persistence, the woman becomes less interested and walks away.
Reactive guys simply flake out, give up, and allow their feelings of rejection, fear, and inadequacy to cripple them in further interactions with women.
Proactive guys indentify the above feelings, but also realize two important things. All of the woman's experiences up to that moment have conditioned her interactions with men. That means she could have been having a bad day, might have been raised not to talk to strangers, or herself been rejected recently. Secondly, she might not like you. That means she doesn't like you. No trick can change that. It isn't a possible hook-up. Proactive guys understand that whatever the reason, an unsuccessful approach can or can't affect the next.
2. A student and job holder is being pressured at final exam time. If the student doesn't work, he can't pay for tuition. If the student doesn't study, he fails his classes.
Reactive: "If only I had more time." "I have to work." "I have to study".
Proactive: "I have the time I have, what do I choose to do with it?" "I prioritize work so I can continue school." "I prioritize studying so that I can pass this class."
See the difference? Reactive people are pushed and pulled by the forces of the universe, "just barely holding on" . Proactivity is responisibility (response-ABILITY). Proactive people make informed decisions based on their principles and beliefs, and they are their own master.
Proactive people also focus on things in their control, either directly or indirectly. Things out of their control are just that- out their control. Attempting to control things that aren't possible to control is like- I don't know- attempting to climb Mt. Everest without a rope or something.
Finally, one must have to a good core to excercise proactivity from. I'll summarize this part from the book. It makes no sense to be a proactive thief or murderer, right? So one must make sure that his actions flow from a core based on principles. Principles include right and wrong, love, process(doing things the right way without shortcuts), consenquences, truth, and others. Many people walk around with nothing inside them, no indentifiable set of beliefs and no vision of what they want to see themselves as. The essence of proactivity is to make your choices in congruence with who you are.
My diction may not do the book justice. But try this book. It is well worth the money for its own way to self discovery and enlightenment.