Basic Views/Attitudes Necessary For A DJ

[TheException]

Couple days ago, a fellow member began a thread in which his girlfriend was "texting" another guy, who may or may not be her ex boyfriend. She acts like the typical attention seeking woman, and shows off her texts to her boyfriend. The forum member is clearly insecure and begins to react with fear. He worries what the two talk about, worries if this guy is her ex, etc etc. Sooooo he gives into temptation, and searches her phone when she is not around. He finds....as could be predicted.....the guy trying to play the "nice guy" role presumably into the pants of his girlfriend. Even though we know that to be ineffective....the forum member still had a burning desire to confront his girlfriend and DEMAND SHE STOP TALKING TO THIS GUY.

I made my opinion known and the link to the original thread can be viewed here:http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=209036. Before you know it....other forum members begin giving advice such as:

-"begin gathering evidence on whether she straight up lied to your face about who she is texting"
-"showing insecurity is better than letting her talk to other guys"
-"SET BOUNDARIES BOUNDARIES BOUNDARIES etc etc"

Next time I go to check the thread to see how OP is doing....I come back to a couple of members nitpicking my reply and spinning it to fit their argument, add to that, guys trying to prove they have a bigger c0ck by saying
-"how many taken women have you been with"
-"Take it from a guy that has fvked a lot of taken women in his past. And yes, I still get taken women hitting on me when I game them."
-"Exception, ultimately your argument lies with shaming men"

and you can see why I elected to make a whole new thread to "educate" these members and the entire community in one concise, thought out, and theoretical backed post.

INSECURITY

I believe insecurities to be the sole reason, men today are such wusses. They allow themselves to be ruled by the emotion, FEAR. Fear of:
-fidelity
-loss
-approval
-approach

etc etc. Where others say "oh its better to be insecure than have a cheating girlfriend" or "its a shaming tactic to call men insecure"...I say.....fvck being insecure about ANYTHING. Thats no way to live. This site was intended to help men become the best MAN they could be. We have lost our way, when the majority advice becomes "who cares if you're insecure, you must be a man and have her respect your boundaries"......ironically I dont disagree with the last quote in terms of action....but I do whole heartily disagree with the attitude. Its NOT ok to be insecure, and if I ever sense it on a post, you better believe Ill be the first to point it out. You should WANT to fix it....not "excuse it" away by calling it shaming.

SETTING BOUNDARIES - LTR
Another concept that members have a$$ backwards. When insecurity is present, it pushes the guy to want to take irrational action. In the post I linked, OP wanted to tell his girlfriend to stop texting the guy. Now, where I can clearly see that insecurity is motivating this urge, and that he really has nothing to fear....other members were having a pep rally yelling for him to "TELL HER YOUR DEMANDS", "SHE NEEDS TO RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES", "SHE NEEDS TO CHOOSE YOU OR HIM". etc etc(gosh that was painful just writing). Hey....guess what.....BOUNDARIES NEED TO BE SET AT THE ONSET NOT MID-RELATIONSHIP. If no standard has been set...how do you expect the woman to live up to your expectations if you keep them to yourself? In fact....no relationship should ever occur until she knows the standard....and has been living up to it already....THEN she may be rewarded with a relationship if the guy desires.

Its comical to see guys throw terms around like "commitment value", "boundaries" etc and not really know how to leverage their power. You CANT "establish your value of commitment" after you have already given her a relationship....you CANT "set boundaries" in the middle of the relationship. Sure...go ahead and try now, and she will laugh in your face and call you "insecure", "overprotective" etc.

I am ALL FOR BOUNDARIES. But they must be implemented from the get-go. When my girlfriend and myself had the talk about exclusivity....my boundaries got set. She knows what crosses a line, and doesnt even go near it to be honest. A chick with high interest wont even sniff one of your lines for fear there will be a misunderstanding and you will dump her. So set the damn boundaries from the beginning....anything later will be refuted because she already has your commitment.

OVERT VS COVERT
We know women communicate via emotions. If youve ever had an argument with one, than you surely have witnessed the phenomena of facts being able to bounce right off her forehead and zip on by. Thats because we men are logical. We use facts to find solutions. WOMEN DONT COMMUNICATE THIS WAY SO STOP TRYING TO DO SO. The biggest joke is the guy....who OVERTLY displays his masculinity:
-demands his girlfriend beckon to his whim
-yells and screams when she talks to another guy
-physically harms a woman
-tell her WITH WORDS "its my way or the high way"

Savy?

Start communicating like the higher value individual....quit putting so much overt effort into "proving your masculinity". So if your girlfriend starts talking to a guy at the bar.....dont confront her about it(show jealousy/insecurity)....go talk to another woman. I GUARANTEE THAT DOES MORE, for your relationship than to yell and by telling her how displeased you are. Women speak this language so quit being a "tough guy" and thinking women should follow your demands and start communicating on their language when you want to show displeasure.

CHEATING

Men that cheat can be summed up into one word.....HORNY. Period. Thats it. "I was turned on by some other woman and couldnt resist the urge no longer." I believe its entirely possible to have a girlfriend that you "love" but still could cheat on.

Women that cheat....is more complex. Where as men try to biological "spread their seed", women can have only 1 baby at a time. Meaning....their need for sex is not as great as a man's. So women can monopolize attention(to theoretically take care of their kid) but only want the most alpha man to actually give her the genes for the kid.....MEANING....she will only sleep with the most alpha man she can achieve. She wont cheat on an alpha boyfriend with some beta "nice guy"....never. Why? Because he is giving his attention away for free(no sex) where as the alpha's attention needs her vag1na in order to attain. So stop thinking with a guy's brain when it comes to cheating. As long as you work on yourself to remain the best you can be....and you fight your insecurities and never let them show....there is a great chance your girlfriend will NEVER cheat on you.(exception: wh0res, but you never should be in relationship with one to begin with)

The reason cheating is higher today than ever...is because we men are not holding our end of the bargain. We are NOT being the most attractive we can be. We do NOT fight our insecurities instead, letting them take hold and drive our actions to CONTROL. I really want men to understand...that gender dynamics has MORE TO DO with US than women. If every single guy was an alpha male in the world....every single girl would do their best to be an IN SHAPE BABE....or else she would go her entire life single.....let that sink in.

 

[user name]

space reserved for later.

 

[luber873]

Great post. I really let insecurities and my pride get to me with my last girl. Fvck.

 

[Tictac]

Until you accept that you are the prize, nothing else much matters.

 

[adam225]

Good post !! repped !

Or maybe not. .. "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to TheException again."

 

[TheCWord]

When my girlfriend and myself had the talk about exclusivity....my boundaries got set. She knows what crosses a line, and doesnt even go near it to be honest.

Can we get a transcript of how that conversation went?

 

[XY.]

All around good post, but ninety five percent of America's male population know this. They just lack the initiative to put it into action and the balls to put a woman in her place because they're so worried about losing her. Sad but true.

Their lack of discipline leads to the guys like us rolling in all the p ussy. I've given up on the trying to educate suckers. If a guy sees me get results then turn around and strike out with a woman that he could have had. he will ask y but I offer no tips or knowledge

My words to him are "idk man she just threw the pvssy at me."

 

[D Wolfgang]

Well written, Exception. And good to see someone who actually bases his analysis on the facts found in evolutionary psychology. (Rather than "Women are wonderful," "Women are the same as men" or "Women are b!tches".)

Have you read muscleman's blog, A Dark Heart? This topic reminds me of his post "How to be alpha in a relationship part 2 - don't be controlling":

1. Not allowing her to talk to ___. Telling her she can’t talk to some guy/girl is a good way to make her do exactly that. First, if there’s a good enough reason why she shouldn’t be around someone due to strain it could put on the relationship, she should be aware of it if she cares about you. If she needs a hint, explain and watch what happens. If she’s still in contact with an ex, chances are she’s not over him and you shouldn’t be together – period.


Your advice to talk to other girls, to affect your gf, made me think of his advice in another post that if your girlfriend is getting fat, one of the things you can do is start checking out other girls. She will get the hint fast. I thought that was funny, but also, it's probably true.

 

[Skyline]

Until you accept that you are the prize, nothing else much matters.

Pretty much. If you become the prize almost nothing will phase you. I was also taught that unnecessary confrontation is beneath me. Not saying im afraid of it just that its not always the answer. Its better to send a message in an indirect way.

As for insecurity... Isnt that what being confident is all about? Being the prize, who would cross you, not a thing to worry type? I feel as if most men nowadays need a mindset adjustment.


Excellent thread TheException.

 

[Skyline]

Bump.