"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Bartending... 17 :-\

TonyTheTigerOI

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Hey everybody. 2 weekends ago, after I opened a set and developed some really good rapport, I discovered the girl I was talking to was a bartender in downtown buffalo. She made enough money to start her own business (tanning salon) and is doing very well financially (she was dressed VERY well).

Well, while I was telling her a simple story about a piece of jewelry I wear she cut me off:

Mellissa - Anthony, why arent you behind a bar somewhere?
Anth - Huh?
Mel - You should be bartending... do you work?
Anth - No I go to school
Mel - Honey, with your looks, you could be making a thousand dollars a week
Anth - A thousand a week?

We debate that figure for a little... she insists that she makes 1,300 a week at a very classy bar downtown. I look around... guys are laying 20's down for 14 dollar drink oarders... and I need the money.

Mel - I want you to go to SoHo and ask for Frank. He manages. Ive known him since before he opened the bar, you tell him that Mellissa said you'd make a great bartender

Well, I agreed to do that, and then changed the subject. I #closed, she innitiated a hug and kissed me on the side of the mouth goodbye.

THE PROBLEM IS!!! I am 17, and mellissa thinks Im 22. I talked it over with my parents, they agreed to let me bartend because we really need the money. When I met mellissa I was in a lounge (21+) and I have been inside SoHo (also 21+) many times.

I have no bartending training, but I could easily get some through my uncles best friend, who sells liquor to a handfull of local bars/stores.

How do I approach frank, the manager at SoHo? Do I tell him my age right off the bat? Do I tell him I have been inside HIS establishment? Do I tell him ive been in other bars? Should I mention mellisa even though she thinks im 5 years older than I am?

I turn 18 in less than a month, so legally I will be able to sell liquor by april. How can I secure this bartending job? And if I dont get this one, how can I get other ones? The money would be like a lifeline for my family.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Royal Elite

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Just start training in the mean time until your birthday. A month isnt that long away. Also tell Frank about the situation, dont tell him the entire story about being in other bars, just tell him mel recommended you, and then ask him not to reveal your age to her, and why. He's a guy he'll understand.
 

I-am-someone

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You should definitely train for bartending until you turn 18 and then go for the job man. It's just a few weeks - it won't matter that much. Just say you've been busy or w/e, but that you'll have time in April.

There is nothing sweeter than a bartending job - women LOVE the bartender, even if he's an ugly motherfvcker.
 

diablo

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Originally posted by I-am-someone
women LOVE the bartender, even if he's an ugly motherfvcker.
Especially if he's ugly. Usually, these ones tend to hook them up a little more with the alcohol if they give him the slightest hint that he has a chance with them...

Royal gave you some good advice; take it.
 

TonyTheTigerOI

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Thanks guys... Should I call and make an appointment to meet with the guy, or just show during off hours?

Also, i ahve been avoiding the place since I got offered the job... is this necessary?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I-am-someone

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Just show during off hours, he needs to see how you look doesn't he?

You mean the bar in SoHo? Don't go there just yet. The bar where you talked to Melissa is fine, just tell her what I said before: You've been busy and won't have time until April. (Oh yeah, make up an excuse for why you're busy as well :p)
 

AverageFC

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Have you actually lied about your age to her ? That wouldnt be good. However training until you're 18 is a good plan.

Make an appointment with the guy.
 
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