Bartender

[rhcp83]

Normally I wouldn't bother as I know bartenders are hired guns that have to be nice to you and are paid to flirt to get tips...but anyway I'll share my story.

I was at a pub/bar, dave and busters type place with my friend tonight. I was blatantly flirting with the waitress, and my friend basically did 20/30 of the talking, just off to the side. The thing is, when I'm talking to someone (male or female) for the first time or someone I'm not completely comfortable with...I get hyper and goofy. I don't stutter or shake or look nervous...just the opposite...I talk a lot, laugh a lot, talk loud, etc...kind of goofy...not like Urkel, just goofy.

About me...tall, well dressed, decent looking. Anyway, so we were probably there for an hour or something and she'd come back to talk to us, told us all about herself...where she grew up, goes to school, her other jobs etc...all basic stuff. So finally my friend wanted to leave (worked all day and was tired) so I told her we had to go and asked her how much we owed her for the drinks, she said "Nothing." So I asked her if she works there every Saturday Night, she said "Yup, thursday, friday, saturday." And I said "No husband or anything?" She said "God no."

My questions are...if she were completely disinterested (Since even Stevie Wonder could see I had the hots for her) would she have given us free drinks, volunteered what days she works, and when I brought up the "not married (an out)" wouldn't she have said "My boyfriend and I aren't at that point" or something?

The other thing is...what do you guys think in general with direct game? I wasn't staring her down like a hawk, never complimented her, but just made it obvious the way I was talking and smiling that I wanted her.

Also, where would you go from here, just keep going back, become a regular, get to know her?

 

[Powerofmindset]

Sounds like a post of regret. You knew at the time you should have asked the girl for a number to see her at a different time other than she was working...but you went for the "safe" question.

Granted it's her job to be social with her customers, she even told you a little about herself to gain your trust. At this point even I would think...well she's just being her natural bartender self...but as soon as she said drinks were free? "Thank you for the drinks, lets get coffee and finish this conversation next week. *Out comes the phone* Put in your number and I'll call you."

It's not even THAT bad you said "What days do you work?"...But the husband part is what people who want to be safe say.

 

[rhcp83]

Well I'm going back there by myself and getting a drink.

One thing I notice about myself with people in general, the first time I'm meeting anyone in a social setting, male or female, young or old, I can be hyper and goofy...not Urkel goofy, but goofy as in overly outgoing and giggling a lot and playfully awkward...hard to explain unless you saw it in action.

Even when I met up with an old male acquaintence I hadn't seen for a couple years, I was the same way. Then next time I saw him, I was more comfortable.

She seemed to overlook this (probably found me physically attractive or whatever)...so if she was overlooking that, I highly doubt that when I go back next weekend, she's going to be cold.

Also, I didn't say "What days do you work?" I asked her if she works every Saturday, then she volunteered the other days on her own.