Bars Have Become Venues for Friends to Hang out vs. Singles to Hook Up

[spinaroonie]

A buddy and I hit up a lounge in Toronto (Spice Route) this past weekend. Out of 100+ people, we spotted maybe three 2-sets of girls in the entire venue. The rest was comprised of big sets - either big mixed sets of guys and girls hanging out as friends, or big groups of 4+ girls, and a bunch of thirsty dudes on the prowl.

Clearly, this is a common enough phenomenon for an internet meme to have gone viral:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRMmHbHxBY0

We wondered why there are so few 2-sets at bars and clubs nowadays, and attributed it to Facebook and online dating. Whereas single women in 5-10+ years ago went to "singles bars" actively looking to meet new men, today they're sitting at home in their PJs on Facebook and POF/OKC searching for Mr. Right/Mr. Right Now. Do "singles bars" even exist anymore?

So girls go out in big groups to "party", get attention/validation/free drinks for the night, go home and discreetly booty text their FWB/**** buddy/ex BF, and get some good sex for the night. Why go home with a random creeper and look like a slut in front of all your friends when you've got **** on tap 24/7 via your smartphone?

This is even more true for smartphone-addicted college girls with vast social circles. And this is also why tourists, cougars and "new to the city" women are easier to pull - they don't have access to vast social circles with **** on tap.

All this leads to far fewer guys pulling from a pure cold approach today than in 2002. Not because guys today have ****ty game, but because the number of single women at bars and clubs actually looking to hook up has gone way down. And all due to the explosion of social networking, online dating and smartphones in the past decade, giving girls constant attention, validation and access to an infinite supply of ****.

Thoughts? Particularly interested in hearing from older 30+ American/Canadian cats if they've also witnessed this change over the years.

 

[Mike32ct]

VERY solid post. Cosign.

 

[Burroughs]

From a practical point of view in 2012 cold approach is dead, you will only snag BPD or really asocial frigid types...neither of which you want unless you do

99% of fvcking occurs on the level of social circle work, school, or in LA and NY elite levels hired biyaches.....pickup is dead....yes yes yes you can get numbers, eye contact etc...blah blah....but to translate that into fvcking it ain't happening with enough frequency to be worth the time expenditure...unless you are an unemployed loser dude then fvck man go for it

solution

make friends...expand your circle...its hard after college but it can be done...music, health club, golf, tennis...girls are addicted to their dumbphones 24/7 they are media crackheads....remember women's currency is attention through secks through everything...as they are getting enormous amounts of attention through facecrack their need to hook up with randoms is much much less......unless you are a wealthy muscular famous person however....:yes: then you might have a shot :trouble:

remember most girls are losers with huge empty social circles amounting to nothing...girls think that if guys don't also have a huge empty loser friend circle there is something wrong...so weird guys single or groups of twos are a weird, pathetic anomaly to girls age 25 and younger....unless you look like brad pitt then they'll just drool...but a average dude alone is a loser to 99% of girl....thats why she gives the number and flakes duh!

 

[dudewut]

*raises hand* ooohhhh ooohhhh pick me!!!

What if, we act beta when we go out? Actually be diplomatic and friendly, maybe buy them a drink. But not to the purpose of hooking up? So next time you are in a party they will invite you to go to a bar/club then you can hook up with her friends?

 

[Trump]

A buddy and I hit up a lounge in Toronto (Spice Route) this past weekend. Out of 100+ people, we spotted maybe three 2-sets of girls in the entire venue. The rest was comprised of big sets - either big mixed sets of guys and girls hanging out as friends, or big groups of 4+ girls, and a bunch of thirsty dudes on the prowl.

All this leads to far fewer guys pulling from a pure cold approach today than in 2002. Not because guys today have ****ty game, but because the number of single women at bars and clubs actually looking to hook up has gone way down. And all due to the explosion of social networking, online dating and smartphones in the past decade, giving girls constant attention, validation and access to an infinite supply of ****.

Thoughts?

Your timing is bad, if you were born in 1950 you have scored multitude of chicks in your 20s without any effort.

The market changes constantly and you have to adapt. To get upset because something was easier to get years ago and there was less competition is illogical.

 

[handle]

I'm a 20-something and what you describe is how I have always viewed bars. House parties are where real "pick up" happens.

I've found it much easier to just have a large, loose social circle. Meet friends, meet friends of friends, meet friends of friends of friends... And go on from there. I pretty much ignore all "pick up" advice at this point... Just be the cool guy at the party. No problem.

 

[Who Dares Win]

What pisses me off is not that "the situation became harder from the past" but the fact that despite society giving me less and less year after years, as a man Im still expected to fullfill oll of my old duties plus the new ones.

I'm getting jack and sh1t from this "new deal" while what Im asked stays the same and increase.

You tell me that "the deal changed" so I can no longer easily get what men were getting before, fine to me as long as I can quit once the conditions are no longer of my taste....no fkning way of course, if I dare to hire only men in my company I got sh1t because apparently Im discriminating.

As a single guy going EVERYWHERE not only in the club Im more likely to be considered creepy untill proven guilty but if I dare to say that Im out society,pc brigade and the gov are gonna storm my life.
Just remember that man who went in the kid section of a library to buy a book for his grandson who got asked to leave the place because some mom didnt feel comfortable to have him around the kids.

 

[VladPatton]

All valid points, broskis. The cold approaches tend to give off creepiness to a girl because that's the current zeitgeist. Social circles are a lot better. Just meet people, rinse, and repeat. It'll make you a better person to boot.

 

[dudewut]

You can accomplish all of that whilst being alpha.

Just saying.

Easier being friendzoned while being beta

plus, no pressure on my part but then again I was always sociable and friendly

EDIT: also, I want to be an orbiter to girls, the trust is there...as an alpha, you cant be too agreeable, hence no trust

 

[EastWind]

So, while the "expand your social circle" advice is certainly correct if you're looking to get laid, technically all it does is make you meet lots and lots of shallow, boring party people. Now, if you're that age and all you care about is partying all night long, continue.

In my case, I find 99% of people to be uninteresting and boring and impossible for me to connect with. Granted, it probably has something to do with me as well... and the fact that Germans in general tend to not open up quickly.

But in general, I just don't feel like spending time talking to people who have nothing interesting to say just so I can stick it into some random hay-head partygirl. The sex is almost never worth it anyway.

I've learned to be by myself most of the time. I try to make the most of it.

As you guys said, the "cold approach" thing is almost dead nowadays because of the ubiquity of social networking. Seen from another angle, though, it also means shallow smartphone-addicted airheads are weeding themselves out for you.

 

[bigneil]

Different cities are like night and day.

Don't fault yourself for the girls you never meet. Just be efficient at getting the phone numbers of the attractive women who you do meet.

 

[Bokanovsky]

A buddy and I hit up a lounge in Toronto (Spice Route) this past weekend. Out of 100+ people, we spotted maybe three 2-sets of girls in the entire venue. The rest was comprised of big sets - either big mixed sets of guys and girls hanging out as friends, or big groups of 4+ girls, and a bunch of thirsty dudes on the prowl.

The club scene in Toronto has been like this as far back as I can remember (10+ years). The smartphone may have accelerated this phenomenon, but it didn't start it.

 

[oxford comma]

you guys are just making excuses. facebook and smartphones havent changed girls desires. yeah, social circle is the EASIEST route to get laid, but its not the best. you learn so much through cold approach pickup that you can't learn through social circle game because a lot of the work has already been done for you.

 

[JohnChops]

you guys are just making excuses. facebook and smartphones havent changed girls desires. yeah, social circle is the EASIEST route to get laid, but its not the best. you learn so much through cold approach pickup that you can't learn through social circle game because a lot of the work has already been done for you.

PLUS FVCKING REP!!!!! Cold approach is not dead at all, it just maybe isnt the norm anymore because of facebook and such.