"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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bars and clubs, are you over it?

Francisco d'Anconia

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edger said:
The Salsa clubs, I have to hit one of those soon, maybe this weekend as a matter of fact. Never been to one, but I can imagine the amount of hot chix crawling in those places. :yes: I have an agenda. :D
I can not tell you how much learning to Salsa has added to my game. When I think about it it creates confidence, charisma, ****iness & sensuality. Talk about being able to command a woman's attention! It definitely boosts a guy's marketability!:up:
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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WestCoaster

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I was never into them, however, I love music and dancing so now and then I'd go. I really enjoyed dances in college more ... heck, do they even have dances in college? Sheesh, I'm getting old.

Funny, I was in Seattle a couple weeks ago with my (unhappily married) friends. We walked around the clubs and all three of us felt out of place.

One thing I noticed -- now remember, this is the angry Northwest -- women in packs of four or five walking to the clubs, all with frowns and a business look. We must have passed 100 women, not one was smiling or happy. They really put their defenses up -- at least in the Northwest, perhaps because there's more guys than girls. I thought clubbing was supposed to be fun.

I do know when you cold approach in coffee shops or grocery stores or bookstores, women are surprised and they do not have their defenses up or excuses made. ("my friend is waiting for me," etc.) It's probably different in other places in the country, but no, I've never missed the club scene and always have done better outside of it, but to each his own.
 

Colossus

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Im only pushing 26, but Ive been over 'the scene' for a while, at least as far as picking up women. I never liked the club thing, just doesnt fit my personality. I still like to go to a bar now and then with friends, have a few pops and shoot the proverbial breeze, but I would much rather go to a low-key place and sit down with some chill music than be in that obnoxious trendy-rap-booty-shake environment.
But, as they say, to each his own.
 

STR8UP

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
I can not tell you how much learning to Salsa has added to my game. When I think about it it creates confidence, charisma, ****iness & sensuality. Talk about being able to command a woman's attention! It definitely boosts a guy's marketability!:up:
A friend of mine from h/s SWEARS by the salsa thing.

He's a CPA and when he goes out at night he wears the same clothes he wears to work. Buttoned up Polo shirt tucked in to pleated Dockers. He stands like he has a stick up his ass. Yet somehow he managed to pull a Costa Rican hottie who happens to be sweet as hell. Maybe I need to give the salsa thing a try......
 

comote

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I'm so into salsa now that it is a major factor in my decisions on where to move. The thing about salsa, if you are a good dancer is you quite simply have access to more women.

The early stages, getting to know a chick, getting a number, getting early dates is almost forced upon you in that scene. Girls will be much more open to you in that scene. They will start asking you for your number. Shooting fish in a barrel.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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