Bar scene, not for me

[Vanilla]

Tonight I went just to enjoy myself at the local bar. I did have a good time,but didn't come home with anyone. The band played all the great songs though it was much too loud and alcohol was expensive. I've only went a few times and I'm not sure I'll go back. The whole time I felt out of place sitting among the other people who seemed to know each other so well. I couldn't come up with anything to say to anyone.

What should I do differently? I was thinking of going to a different bar, but is everyone so friendly to each other because they go in as a group or are regulars there?

 

[DonGorgon]

say anything.. listen and then contribute something interesting... anything, its all in how confidently u speak...

 

[hell695]

well get your boys together and then go and have fun women arent all world and sides you might do better with the pressure off

 

[2Pac_Makaveli]

Get a couple of ur friends together, drink alcohol from a supermarket before you go (so you'll need to buy less, more expensive alcohol at the bar) at hit it up, loosen up and bathe in the loud music. Simple when you know how.:rockon:

 

[imarockstar]

i completely agree. i went to the club last night alone bc my friends didnt feel like going out. the music was way too loud to have even a brief conversation with anyone. i talked to about 12 people. about 8 girls and 4 guys, but they were mostly one line statements here and there, and half the time i could tell they couldnt hear me bc they just nodded, as i did the same bc i couldnt hear **** they were saying. i danced with a few chicks but i think they knew some guys that worked there or maybe they were bf and gf but whatever. clubs kinda suck unless you got a posse with you.

but you know what, this motivated me so greatly to make more cold approaches and perfect my daygame. i let some opportunities slip yesterday while i was at the mall, bc i figured id get a ons that night at the club, but the weather the way it is, the clubs population was cut in half since the last time i was there and there werent many girls to pick from. i wish i had yesterday back, because i saw about 4 girls that were gorgeous, wayyyy better than the chicks at the club. but yeah, stick to the daygame if you dont have a large social circle

 

[BlakeW5]

Hitting the bar is all about the pregame man. If you want to get a buzz drink before hand, it'll save you more money than you'd ever believe. Hell with the whole alcohol vs. game debate, if you want to get drunk do it before hand.

And bar game is all about body language. So you can't hear/talk. There's more than one way to communicate man, remember that. It can be as simple as a look or a hand gesture.

 

[dbot]

I don't go to bars for women, but they can be fun as hell for meeting cool people or having a good time. I'm a regular at a popular bar across the street from where I live. People see me socializing with the band or hanging out with the staff and they're generally eager to meet me.

Just introduce yourself to one of the groups, then duck out for a bit and repeat with another group. Repeat this 3 or 4 times, and then return for a bit and start talking to the first people you met. Before long you'll look like a certified cool guy

 

[Vanilla]

I don't go to bars for women, but they can be fun as hell for meeting cool people or having a good time. I'm a regular at a popular bar across the street from where I live. People see me socializing with the band or hanging out with the staff and they're generally eager to meet me.

Just introduce yourself to one of the groups, then duck out for a bit and repeat with another group. Repeat this 3 or 4 times, and then return for a bit and start talking to the first people you met. Before long you'll look like a certified cool guy

I like this idea, thanks. I felt I needed to move around but didn't know where without making it look awkward or forced.

 

[Smartone84]

NO offense to any of you and I do mean NO offense, but how is it actually possible to enter a bar or club by yourself? I've never heard or seen anyone do that in my life. Don't you feel super weird from the start?

 

[Jesus]

NO offense to any of you and I do mean NO offense, but how is it actually possible to enter a bar or club by yourself? I've never heard or seen anyone do that in my life. Don't you feel super weird from the start?

what are you, retarded?

 

[Vanilla]

NO offense to any of you and I do mean NO offense, but how is it actually possible to enter a bar or club by yourself? I've never heard or seen anyone do that in my life. Don't you feel super weird from the start?

I commute to college, don't know anyone in my area. What else am I suppose to do?

 

[rushing dude 123]

Hey dude, i know how it feels, i was exactlly how u were, buying loads of alcohol and "excuses" such has musics to loud, don't have enough social proof.

So what i did was i order tap water everytime i go to a bar, this is cheap and guess what seeing u don't need liquid courage ur in better state not stumbling and would b good for day game. I stopped making excuses, i would talk to girls...instead of just saying they can't hear me without trying few times. If they cudn't hear me u can dance, get phone out and write what u want in text and show them "UR REALLY HAWTTTT", speack louder, u know what i don't even speack i just mime and there like "i can't hear u" then just say "jk so ...u come here often lol" or change club. instead of just sitting corner sulking, if it dosn't work alternate or leave.

To b honest most of ur communication is body language so if ur confident it will show u don't even have to say anything. And has for no social proof don't worry u meet people there just b social and when u out for girls ur not with ur friends most of time so it don't matter.

Its great u came here trying to impve instead of just quitting bar game i respect u for that man. Report back dude when u go out again.

When life hands u lemons make lemonade

 

[Kerpal]

The whole time I felt out of place sitting among the other people who seemed to know each other so well. I couldn't come up with anything to say to anyone.

I know exactly what you mean. It seems like everyone only hangs out with their own group, and if you're not in a group, you're ****ed

 

[Smartone84]

Lmao! I love his name too. Smartone. Goes perfect with his statement.

you see thats what I mean. I make a statement saying NO offense yet you immature morons bash me to no end.

and just how am I retarded? I've been going to clubs and bars since I was 18 and simply have never heard or seen anyone going by themselves. I didn't mean to piss you off Vanilla, if you don't know anyone yet then that's a shame but you should at least try and make some friends first to hit up the bar scene with rather than going in all by yourself. Its a huge DLV from the start IMO

 

[Jesus]

you see thats what I mean. I make a statement saying NO offense yet you immature morons bash me to no end.

and just how am I retarded? I've been going to clubs and bars since I was 18 and simply have never heard or seen anyone going by themselves. I didn't mean to piss you off Vanilla, if you don't know anyone yet then that's a shame but you should at least try and make some friends first to hit up the bar scene with rather than going in all by yourself. Its a huge DLV from the start IMO

Clubs maybe, but I honestly find it ridiculously impossible to believe you've been going to bars for six years and have never seen someone walk in and sit down at the bar by themself.

 

[Mike32ct]

Going to a bar alone is not that big a deal. I've done it, but I can't say it works well in terms of pickup. However, you really need to sit at the bar. To stand alone with a drink or sit at a table by yourself is weird.

I usually go to a bar and grill. Ordering food helps pass the time and even gives you an excuse not to drink. It's totally ok to order a soda with food. You can also sit in front of a tv screen to help keep you occupied while you secretly scope for hotties.

Tom Leykis (and some other guys) claim you can sit at a bar alone, totally mind your own business and women will approach you. I've never had that happen. Are there any tricks to that I'm missing? Honestly, I've done so poorly pickup-wise at bars that I'm at the point where I ONLY go there to eat now.

Going to a club alone takes more b@lls. I've done well in such environments when I'm on vacation (especially in Vegas), but at clubs back home in the northeast, it's considered (by girls) extremely creepy to go to a club alone. You pretty much have to lie and say your friends are running late. Of course, women aren't stupid; they see through that and move on.

 

[Jesus]

Tom Leykis (and some other guys) claim you can sit at a bar alone, totally mind your own business and women will approach you. I've never had that happen. Are there any tricks to that I'm missing? Honestly, I've done so poorly pickup-wise at bars that I'm at the point where I ONLY go there to eat now.

Be good looking and not look like you're secretly there to pick up chicks? I've been approached or had conversation started with me more than a few times when sitting at the bar by myself, although they're usually not the most attractive of women.

 

[Smack]

Tonight I went just to enjoy myself at the local bar. I did have a good time,but didn't come home with anyone. The band played all the great songs though it was much too loud and alcohol was expensive. I've only went a few times and I'm not sure I'll go back. The whole time I felt out of place sitting among the other people who seemed to know each other so well. I couldn't come up with anything to say to anyone.

What should I do differently? I was thinking of going to a different bar, but is everyone so friendly to each other because they go in as a group or are regulars there?

1) You won't come home with someone every time you go to the bar. Don't beat yourself up about it.

2) You don't go to a bar stone cold sober unless you're staying sober for that night (i.e. being the designated driver). Buy some alcohol from the supermarket before going out. I usually have half a bottle of Vodka before going out. That way I don't need to buy hardly any drinks at the bar.

3) Mingle with people. It's a bar, it's for socialising.

4) Some nights are just bad nights. You had one of those.

 

[Drewskie]

1) You won't come home with someone every time you go to the bar. Don't beat yourself up about it.

2) You don't go to a bar stone cold sober unless you're staying sober for that night (i.e. being the designated driver). Buy some alcohol from the supermarket before going out. I usually have half a bottle of Vodka before going out. That way I don't need to buy hardly any drinks at the bar.

3) Mingle with people. It's a bar, it's for socialising.

4) Some nights are just bad nights. You had one of those.

On the average, how many nights do you think a guy actually goes home with a girl, I'd say it's only about 5, maybe 10%.

 

[Smartone84]

3% on Long Island