Bantering through text - a thin line between creepiness

[tryst type]

Ok guys, thought I'd make a little post about bantering via texts for all you that are inclined to use a phone more than just a planner.

If you must entertain the idea of endless texting with a girl (which btw might be killing your chances) be aware of how you're bantering or being playful.

I learned this the hard way in the past and recently was reminded of the easy slip up from a friend who came to me for advice.

I'll use his problem as an example to demonstrate how easy it is to scare a girl off by simple wrong phrasing of words.

He was texting with a girl that he did a number exchange off Facebook (they had never met in person yet) they were talking about a recent earthquake that struck the eastcoast and she had asked "did you feel it at all? I didn't" his response "no I didn't but if you weren't so busy thinking about me you might have though lol"

Now this in it's context seems playful/harmless but the way he said it scared her off bc it came off a bit needy/try too hard. Now maybe she just lacks a sense of humor but he never heard from her again.

I suggested he should have worded it something like "it's ok if you didn't experience it because you were too busy thinking about me, I undersand lol"

Notice the difference?

Just be careful guys don't try so hard via text to continue or try to create attraction it's a slippery slope without real emotion. Best bet get her laughing a bit then set up a date. Avoid any unnecessary problems by trying to always be clever/witty/show status

 

[LE6END]

Tryst, I'll be honest with you, the two examples appear exactly the same to me. I think what he said was fine; it's all perspective.

I said amazingly creative stuff in my texting endeavors, to get overly positive responses. In my experience, the focal point is simply the type of girl you're texting. He might've gotten a response, had it been a different girl.

I personally experienced this many times before, and it still holds true. It's never what you say, but how you say it. What he said just weeded out a girl who wasn't interested in him. Didn't sense any creepy vibe in his reply, nor did I notice a distinguishable difference between the alternate example you gave, save a few word replacements. I would actually tell him to keep using that.

It's best to see where you stand with a girl right at the beginning. I don't ever speak out of my experience, and I've never read that 'DJ Bible'. Everything I've learned was from the field. If you ever knew how females work (not you Tryst, men in general), you'd know that a girl decides if she would sleep with you the minute her eyes are laid upon your appearance.

When I would be texting/talking with a girl I'd met not even over a week ago, I would immediately gauge her attraction towards me. Say what you will about me, but things like what your friend said are actually respectable set ups---provided it comes natural, of course. I'd waste no time in kicking things off, because if she WAS into me, even slightly, no matter what I say, I'll ALWAYS get a reaction. And I'd measure her feelings for me by the type of response I receive.

A real example. I once told this girl, "I want to f.uck you."

naturally, I thought she would cuss the living hell out of me, delete my number, erase me from her various social networks, dismiss me from her life, the list stretches years... Her response?

"lol wow. You're freaky."

I knew then she was mine for the taking. Now, i could have equally received, " What the hell?! Disrespectful prick. Delete my number and never contact me again, a.sshole."

My responses are like fishing nets. The interested fish will remain, the uninterested will return to the sea.

Responses like your friend's will same him a lot of time; it will certainly save him from wasting his time with a broad who has no interest in him, because something like the text he gave should not have warranted her to disappear into darkness. Once again, I didn't sense any creepy vibe, and nothing's more creepy/disrespectful than telling a girl, right out of the gate, you want to f.uck her. It's the type of girl, my man.. He saved himself from an uninterested female is all.

 

[tryst type]

LE6END I completely agree with what you're saying, maybe I should have been more specific in the example I provided.

I've learned that it's always best to make anything you want to say be like it was her idea, that way it's always laced with a bit of humor in case the girl just isn't/hasn't warmed up to you if she needs that first before accepting such forward flirty messages.

I have also witnessed girls who were instantly off the bat receptive to anything I'd throw at them even as blunt as your "I want to f.uck you"

Basically, I'm trying to say if you're unsure of how a girl is going to respond to your strong personality via texts sometimes rephrasing things just a little bit can lead you down a better road of success.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Im a network administrator full time techie so I use digital forms of communication alot. You always have to consider that written words to not carry a smile or intention. You might be smiling when you write it, but you can rest assured that the person reading it is not smiling. So when you communicate like this you have to be very up front and simple maybe elementary? I avoid any inside type jokes or sarcasm because it often just comes across as rude. Now, if you already have a very good and playful relationship with a person of course you can go off a bit, but generally keep this kind of communication very clear and up front. It's very difficult to gauge the intentions of someone you dont know in written text.

 

[sstype]

And that is why I never banter over texting.....its just too easy for something to get misinterpreted or taken the wrong way.

Plus once she has your messages its permanent unless she deletes it. If you text something retarded/creepy/offensive rest assured she and her friends will be having a laugh at your expense at what a loser you are. Boom...you've not only blown your chance with her but also anyone she decides to show in her social circle.

Bottom line, don't give her a reason to blow you off....keep your texts short, sweet, and neutral. Only use it to make plans and have basic (how are you, how's your day) conversation.