Originally posted by spider_007
Which is why I'm getting little pissed (I'M MISSING OUT ON ALL OF IT). I supose I should try harder to have a social life but, it's kinda hard when you don't know where to start.
Frustrating yourself won't help, so start small.
Some basic realizations that have helped me IMMENSELY:
1. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you HAVE to say something all the time. Silences don't have to be awkward, so no worries about filling in the gaps, ok? WHen you do open your mouth, be open and honest with people, even if you think it might offend them. Sincerity is a rare gem in this world of fake-ass wannabes.
2. Don't talk about yourself too much from the start. Make general statements about your environment, culture, the weather, etc. If they seem pretty chill, then show some curiosity and make a sincere effort to know who they really are. Once they show that same curiousity about you, feel free to give them scraps of information that will help them form their own conclusions about you. Never speak directly about your character, (I like XYZ music) instead talk about things that illustrate who you are (last week I went to XYZ concert, it was amazing!)
3. Clubs are the worst place to try and develop conversational skills. Don't be so eager to conform to everyone else's idea of fun. What are the activities YOU find interesting? List them and then think of social outlets for these hobbies, where you can meet like-minded people and make a habit of hanging out with them.
4. You have the right to be selective. If you find some cool peeps and the vibe is right and you should definitely kick it with them. If they are dismissive, negative or just plain uninteresting, then keep it moving till you find someone who you have more chemistry with. Going out of your way to impress a bunch of assh0les is a big waste of time!
5. DO NOT try to get laid. A noobie starting out with this objective will frustrate himself very quickly. Go out with the aim of expanding your social circle and getting into the practice of conversation and chilling.
6. Learn to make the most simple everyday things interesting. Watch some good comedians on a regular basis and see how they notice the subtle humor behind EVERYTHING.
This dude is HILARIOUS:
http://www.godfreylive.com/videoList.htm
Here is a simple, straightforward guide to comedy. I'm not advising you to change your profession or try to entertain people all the time, but the written exercises are a great way to learn how to express yourself better...
http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/standup/standup.html
And 15-20 ARE the prime years. In those years couples don't expect notting more form each other then; GOOD TIME. Anything past that is a whole nother ball game. By that time every gurl has been "made loose" already, And they expect quiet a few different things.
Bullcrap. Prime years for most dudes are 20-25. Girls are more experienced and a lot less inhibited about their sexuality. If you wanna get technical, I didn't hit my "prime" till 27! You got plenty of time to get your sh!t together so relax and take it slow.
