Balancing Her Need for Excitement vs. Safety?

[NeverFear]

Hi guys,

Anybody else walking the line in the dating realm trying to provoke and handle to female emotions?

Excitement vs. Safety.

On the one hand, they want to be safe with you.

On the other, they want to feel dangerous excitement.

How do you walk the line?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I really enjoy outgoing, adventurous women with a bit of an edge and I'm noticing a pattern. They enjoy the excitement, the humor, the anticipation and all that goes along with it. The main time that they want to feel safe and secure though is after sex, that's it. If they can wake up in your arms in the morning it's all good and everything else is just gravy. Now; if I can only stop my arm from going numb every night...

 

[So pimp its scary]

By being yourself, you'll find a girl that you can provide all the adventure, excitement and safety to in the proportions that the girl needs to make her happy...

In my experience tho, women only need safety in the sense that they feel safe enough that they aren't gonna get raped or something like that...

 

[itishe]

I ain't much for meeting a girls requirements. Until she can prove she can cook and clean it will remain that way.

 

[DJDamage]

. Now; if I can only stop my arm from going numb every night...

Get a bigger bed and push her off gently to the other side lol. Honestly I can never get a decent sleep with a chick in bed with me, they always toss and turn all night in their sleep. The female mind is restless I tell you, and I am glad I am not one.

 

[Vypros]

Damn, I see a whole lot of supplicating in this thread. lol

Why does your arm go numb? I mean, surely you don't sit there and cuddle her all night long? Why would you do that? I mean, I know it's great to hold her a little bit, but damn, at some point you just gotta be like "I gotta get some sleep, so I'm going to roll over and go to sleep. Good night. I love you." and then roll over. Why torture yourself all night long?

I ain't much for meeting a girls requirements. Until she can prove she can cook and clean it will remain that way.

What a piss poor attitude!

Basically what you are saying is that you are only willing to improve yourself whenever someone else lives up to the incredibly high standards you hyprocritically hold over everyone around you. Talk about cowardice. Sorry if that's too blunt for your tastes, but at the end of the day it shouldn't matter whether she cooks and cleans or not. All that should matter is that you have goals for yourself and that you are striving to be the best you can be at what you do, and only surround yourself with people with a similar mindset.


*****

As for balancing danger with safety, well, that isn't really something you pick up on a message board. However, I will say this much...It all stems from your ability to know exactly what you want, how to get it, and the price you are willing to pay for it. Then, the ability to stand up and take it regardless who you are with. When you do this, you aren't playing some balancing act to try to keep a girl interested in you. You are living your life, going for the things you want, doing the things you want, and then LEADING the girl you are with towards those things. When you do that, the natural balance will be there because when you do these things for yourself you are going to want stability in your life, but you are also ging to have a sense of adventure.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Get a bigger bed and push her off gently to the other side lol. Honestly I can never get a decent sleep with a chick in bed with me, they always toss and turn all night in their sleep. The female mind is restless I tell you, and I am glad I am not one.

The funny thing in my situation is that with this particular woman we both seem to get a really good night's sleep (the arm going numb thing doesn't happen too often). Exhaustion does help though.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

..Why does your arm go numb? I mean, surely you don't sit there and cuddle her all night long? Why would you do that? I mean, I know it's great to hold her a little bit, but damn, at some point you just gotta be like "I gotta get some sleep, so I'm going to roll over and go to sleep. Good night. I love you." and then roll over. Why torture yourself all night long?....

What's love gotta do with it? (lol, just had to say that) I haven't told that to a woman in so long I can't remember and I'll be damned if I'm going to just to get her to go to sleep!!!

Seriously, she passes out on my chest and I'm too tired to push her off. I could think of worse things than a numb arm. Numbnutz perhaps?

 

[samueladams]

screw that numb arm is awful...i'd rather have numb balls and polish them off than having my sleep messed with. Reality: sleep>poon at least in my world...

 

[regular_guy]

*****

As for balancing danger with safety, well, that isn't really something you pick up on a message board. However, I will say this much...It all stems from your ability to know exactly what you want, how to get it, and the price you are willing to pay for it. Then, the ability to stand up and take it regardless who you are with. When you do this, you aren't playing some balancing act to try to keep a girl interested in you. You are living your life, going for the things you want, doing the things you want, and then LEADING the girl you are with towards those things. When you do that, the natural balance will be there because when you do these things for yourself you are going to want stability in your life, but you are also ging to have a sense of adventure.

That is very interesting and clever, a little surprising actually. Seems very counter intuitive to me at the moment. I am assuming one has to stride for what they want ruthlessly and unapologetically. I am working on this what I want business, my masculinity I guess. Nice to see people who make some sense around here.