Hello all. 36th Chamber of Shaolin speaking.
Lately I have gone through a very very tough period.
I've mentioned in my previous posts what's been going on specifically.
In short, just to recap, living with a somewhat immature, yet somehow incredibly authentic and vibrant 21 year old incredibly sexy, presumably BPD girl, which had issues beyond my understanding and engaged in a lot of self-destructive behavior, allowing her to use my only weakness against me, which she was somehow simultaneously incredibly clever and also very crude to do, having the relationship slowly fall apart, trying to salvage it since we lived together and being ridiculed by her for it, as well as being manipulated, gaslit, etc etc etc, has caused me to re-evaluate a lot or things.
I've also had other issues with women popping up in my professional life as well, which is basically what she used against me.
All of this happening, all of this "being told off", you could even say "scolding", has led me to very very much re-evaluate everything.
I have realised that simply being with a female in private is already a risky undertaking for a man in this era.
I had a date recently, being set up by a friend, and the girl all of a sudden decided to campaign for womens rights in my living room.
We may wonder: what's going on in these women's heads?
Sadly, for most of them, it's a few things. And to be honest its the same thing that goes through guys' heads.
You want to know? Self-interest.
If your presence is of no interest to another person, they won't have you around. I have decided to adopt this mindset. Every single individual in my life, that does not have my best interest at heart, will be clipped out of my life.
So anyway.
The hard times.... they have caused me to doubt myself.
I have found strength in spiritual-esque resilience exercises.
Overcoming cold freezing temperatures has allowed me to somewhat master my mind a little bit more.
There is no reason to slip into addiction, depression.... these are things, when you engage in them, you are not using the power of your mind. You are not using your will power to control your mind, control you, and control your mood.
Since I started doing breathing exercises and showering with freezing cold water, I have regained confidence in myself. I feel now that I am a good person and not a toxic person. I feel that the boundaries I had set before which I had come to second-guess and abandon were never wrong boundaries. The boundaries make sense.
Now... With this new confidence, I am working towards my future again. Humbly, I am trying to make progress again. I will become a substantial and a respectable person because that is the direction I am headed in. That is what I expect of myself and I will inevitably be treated accordingly.
So... I was just meditating sort of, and it kind of hit me that it may be difficult to balance being a go-getter with being grateful for the things in life.
Being grateful can help you to take a step in the right direction and to bring some positivity into your life. It should however not be confused with being complacent. It is the dissatisfaction in life which drives us to acheive things. At least at the start.
Think about the things you want to change in life. Get to work on it, starting from the little challenges and build the belief that you can change your position in life. You can gain respect from others. Eradicate those that won't treat you with respect. Respect yourself. Others will follow. It may take a while, so be happy with spending time with yourself. And dont waste that time.
Once you build momentum, you will feel a lot better.
Once you know what your purpose is. Once you know what principles you stand by. What you expect from others and therefore also from yourself, people will gravitate towards you. When they do, at least make sure to have some wisdom to impart. They might become good friends, and it could lead to any number of adventures.
Just make sure to adhere to your principles, work on yourself, believe in yourself, control your mind a little bit and enjoy life.
Lately I have gone through a very very tough period.
I've mentioned in my previous posts what's been going on specifically.
In short, just to recap, living with a somewhat immature, yet somehow incredibly authentic and vibrant 21 year old incredibly sexy, presumably BPD girl, which had issues beyond my understanding and engaged in a lot of self-destructive behavior, allowing her to use my only weakness against me, which she was somehow simultaneously incredibly clever and also very crude to do, having the relationship slowly fall apart, trying to salvage it since we lived together and being ridiculed by her for it, as well as being manipulated, gaslit, etc etc etc, has caused me to re-evaluate a lot or things.
I've also had other issues with women popping up in my professional life as well, which is basically what she used against me.
All of this happening, all of this "being told off", you could even say "scolding", has led me to very very much re-evaluate everything.
I have realised that simply being with a female in private is already a risky undertaking for a man in this era.
I had a date recently, being set up by a friend, and the girl all of a sudden decided to campaign for womens rights in my living room.
We may wonder: what's going on in these women's heads?
Sadly, for most of them, it's a few things. And to be honest its the same thing that goes through guys' heads.
You want to know? Self-interest.
If your presence is of no interest to another person, they won't have you around. I have decided to adopt this mindset. Every single individual in my life, that does not have my best interest at heart, will be clipped out of my life.
So anyway.
The hard times.... they have caused me to doubt myself.
I have found strength in spiritual-esque resilience exercises.
Overcoming cold freezing temperatures has allowed me to somewhat master my mind a little bit more.
There is no reason to slip into addiction, depression.... these are things, when you engage in them, you are not using the power of your mind. You are not using your will power to control your mind, control you, and control your mood.
Since I started doing breathing exercises and showering with freezing cold water, I have regained confidence in myself. I feel now that I am a good person and not a toxic person. I feel that the boundaries I had set before which I had come to second-guess and abandon were never wrong boundaries. The boundaries make sense.
Now... With this new confidence, I am working towards my future again. Humbly, I am trying to make progress again. I will become a substantial and a respectable person because that is the direction I am headed in. That is what I expect of myself and I will inevitably be treated accordingly.
So... I was just meditating sort of, and it kind of hit me that it may be difficult to balance being a go-getter with being grateful for the things in life.
Being grateful can help you to take a step in the right direction and to bring some positivity into your life. It should however not be confused with being complacent. It is the dissatisfaction in life which drives us to acheive things. At least at the start.
Think about the things you want to change in life. Get to work on it, starting from the little challenges and build the belief that you can change your position in life. You can gain respect from others. Eradicate those that won't treat you with respect. Respect yourself. Others will follow. It may take a while, so be happy with spending time with yourself. And dont waste that time.
Once you build momentum, you will feel a lot better.
Once you know what your purpose is. Once you know what principles you stand by. What you expect from others and therefore also from yourself, people will gravitate towards you. When they do, at least make sure to have some wisdom to impart. They might become good friends, and it could lead to any number of adventures.
Just make sure to adhere to your principles, work on yourself, believe in yourself, control your mind a little bit and enjoy life.
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