Balancing frustration.

[satelliteparties]

How do you balance sexual frustration? What I mean is, yeah, there's masturbation...but if you're really bitter over not being noticed by women (even the UGs don't check me out) and you're literally beyond sexually frustrated, what can you do to have an even keel?

Before I get the standard "work on yourself" "get muscular and work at the gym" comments...I'm athletic already. It doesn't make one bit of difference with your shirt on. I'm sure women will notice when I go to the beach.

I'm also working on myself. This is an important part of it. That if I'm not going to get laid or be dating a woman, I have to find a way to be more relaxed about it.

The past several months, I seemed to turn into a man that hates the majority of young women and sees them as strictly sex objects. I have an online friend that I talk to everyday, and we talk about how shallow and materialistic most young white women are.

The thing is, I'm not aiming for 9s/10s. I notice cute everyday woman...not ugly, sure...but not magazine material or the high-maintenance, latest fashion type. I just live in an area where even regular women have a lot of power.

And I'm not ugly either. I have honest male friends who tell me the truth about everything and put me in the 6-7 range. And like I said, I've dated a 6 and 8 (based on my looks alone.) I just don't have a cool or tough looking face. I have a face that just looks young and weak and to a lot of women that may as well be fat/ugly/wearing star trek t-shirts.

Anyway, how do I handle the sexual frustration other than masturbating more often? It seems to manifest into anger...not threatening, violent anger...but just puts me in a beyond bad mood even when I have good things going on in my life.

 

[runner83]

Put that s!xual energy build up to good use.

Forget about worrying about women and do something meaningful with your life.

If you have a weak or young looking face, grow some stubble.

 

[Alanswer]

Your anger doesn't seem to come from sexual frustration. If it was the case I'd tell you to go and see some pros/hos. But I don't think it would change much.

If think your anger/frustration has the discrepancy between the way you see yourself and the way women (don't) notice you for origin.

On this I don't know you so I can't know how you behave around people. I don't think the 'baby-face' can explain why girls don't notice you. Do you approach them, talk to them...?

Maybe they feel your anger... And won't have anything to do with you because of that.

 

[satelliteparties]

I look like a terrorist with any facial hair. Nerd/creep...neither are good options, but I'll take clean cut nerd.

The sexual frustration, how much of this is the V-card and needing to demystify sex?

Also, I'm starting a new band...which to me, when I'm in a good band, is more satisfying than any woman could be. Even just rehearsing and playing songs with talented musicians.

And in person, I'm very very good at just putting on a happy face. Most of this anger comes into play when I'm home at night.

Also...normally I'd think "maybe women just don't find me attractive at all and I'm overrating my appearance" but how would I have gotten an 8 with my looks, even if online, and on the first date she was worried that I was too handsome for her (her words.) And by 8, I mean she would be a 7/8 or better to the majority of men.

Are nerdy looking guys that much of a turn off to the average woman?

 

[Mike32ct]

If you want girls to check you out or even approach you, you need to be at least an 8 in my experience. Guys who are 7s are common.

I used to be an 8. I've aged since then and am more like a low 7 on a good day and 6 on a bad day. I don't get checked out anymore. But the funny thing is, my success is actually higher these days since I have more experience and I cold approach more.

My point is, you should cold approach. There is nothing wrong with being a 7, but don't expect girls to jump you. I think BackBreaker said it best, "A 7 is never out of the competition."

My last 4 ONS were random cold approaches.
These girls didnt give me any prior IOIs. I just started talking to them and persisted. I've pulled from 6s to even an 8 recently.

Anyway, I know exactly how you feel. You might think if girls aren't looking at you it's game over. It's not. I know you can find some success, but you gotta get on and try.

 

[Cherokee]

Girls generally don't cold approach guys, as they fear they'll look like sl*ts.
A guy, no matter how good looking, must attract with aura, and extreme positive energy. (As a guy who knows he's good looking, automatically projects these positive vibes, therefore the women approach)
As you think, you shall become.
Right now, you think low of yourself, so what vibes are you projecting into the environment?
Women can sniff a guy out if he's not happy with himself.

So heres what to do, right now, you're asking for a cure, but for your symptoms... you need to cure the disease, the underlying problem.
And that is your self esteem.

Here are some solutions to helping you.

1. Work out, go jogging, play some sports, feel the testosterone surge through you.

2. Get a good haircut, buy some awesome unique clothes, make yourself feel and look good.

3. Get some interesting hobbies than you will enjoy and love to talk about in the long run.

4. Build your social life to boiling point, so that your diary is too full to even fit girls in. (Girls will love it)

5. And finally, if you haven't got a job, get one.

These 5 things, will automatically put you on a path to feeling awesome about yourself. Strive to follow them, then go seek women.

Good luck.

 

[satelliteparties]

Well it's amazing how fortunes can change. Found a girl on okcupid, 6/7 (but attractive to me which is all that matters) cool profile as well, messaged her and asked her a question about it...hours later, we're still talking...get along great, are going to meet up...she's seen realistic pics of me and finds me attractive.

What's interesting, though, and I realized what was bugging me...is that I'd like to have recreational sex with a girl that's "sexy" to me...big boobs/big ass either or.

I know I can attract cute/nerdy girls...just hard to find. I guess I'd just like, even for one night, to have recreational, porn like sex with a girl that to me is "sexy."

I'm confident even if things don't work out with this girl, that I will meet another one similar to her in the future...and I know by dating one of them for a while, it would lead to sex...but I'm curious about emotionless, "wow she's hot (to me)" sex.