Raggendecanton
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2022
- Messages
- 25
- Reaction score
- 12
- Age
- 33
Hi everyone,
Lately, I've been reflecting on a recurring challenge in my dating life. I actively focus on improving various aspects of my life—my craft, fitness, career, and social skills—and I enjoy an active lifestyle. I date a range of women, with varying levels of connection and attraction. However, sometimes I meet someone who really stands out, ticking many of the boxes of what I'm looking for. These situations often start with high interest, but as life goes on, challenges arise such as (****) tests and fluctuations in interest.
I've realized that my main struggle is maintaining my confidence and personal boundaries ("frame") when I really start to like someone. When I'm dating multiple women, the validation and intimacy make me feel confident. However, I don't want to continue dating multiple people; I'm at a point where I want to build a deeper, meaningful relationship and perhaps start a family. I am 31, will be 32 in July and have a notch count between 120-140. I almost feel hedonistic when i fall back too ****ing multiple women a week/month again, it just doenst feel like progress despite the dopamine rush of getting new p*ssy.
The trap for me seems to be in unconsciously wanting to establish a romantic connection and family life with one woman, but then falling back into old habits of being too accommodating once I become attached. Initially, I maintain a confident and independent persona, but as my feelings deepen, I become overly nice and attached (atleast i think). I also used to be more of an ******* in my early days, but i just dont wanna go true life being like that. I wanna be authentic (not mr.nice guy ,which i am certaintly not).
I'm trying to learn and break out of this pattern. How do you maintain your frame and confidence in a relationship without feeling terrible when things don't go as planned, especially as attachments grow? I'm not interested in the advice to "date more (multiple) women" to reduce attachment. My goal is to build a sustainable, long-term relationship. I try to exert eternal patience with women, in the sense that i cant control what (externaly) happens in life and dating, i can only control my REACTION to that situation. I feel like this is extremely hard, since i am an overthinker.
What strategies do you all use to stay confident and true to yourself in the early stages of a serious relationship?
Lately, I've been reflecting on a recurring challenge in my dating life. I actively focus on improving various aspects of my life—my craft, fitness, career, and social skills—and I enjoy an active lifestyle. I date a range of women, with varying levels of connection and attraction. However, sometimes I meet someone who really stands out, ticking many of the boxes of what I'm looking for. These situations often start with high interest, but as life goes on, challenges arise such as (****) tests and fluctuations in interest.
I've realized that my main struggle is maintaining my confidence and personal boundaries ("frame") when I really start to like someone. When I'm dating multiple women, the validation and intimacy make me feel confident. However, I don't want to continue dating multiple people; I'm at a point where I want to build a deeper, meaningful relationship and perhaps start a family. I am 31, will be 32 in July and have a notch count between 120-140. I almost feel hedonistic when i fall back too ****ing multiple women a week/month again, it just doenst feel like progress despite the dopamine rush of getting new p*ssy.
The trap for me seems to be in unconsciously wanting to establish a romantic connection and family life with one woman, but then falling back into old habits of being too accommodating once I become attached. Initially, I maintain a confident and independent persona, but as my feelings deepen, I become overly nice and attached (atleast i think). I also used to be more of an ******* in my early days, but i just dont wanna go true life being like that. I wanna be authentic (not mr.nice guy ,which i am certaintly not).
I'm trying to learn and break out of this pattern. How do you maintain your frame and confidence in a relationship without feeling terrible when things don't go as planned, especially as attachments grow? I'm not interested in the advice to "date more (multiple) women" to reduce attachment. My goal is to build a sustainable, long-term relationship. I try to exert eternal patience with women, in the sense that i cant control what (externaly) happens in life and dating, i can only control my REACTION to that situation. I feel like this is extremely hard, since i am an overthinker.
What strategies do you all use to stay confident and true to yourself in the early stages of a serious relationship?