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Baffled by eye contact

halfguard

Don Juan
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The last 3 or 4 days I've been on a big push to practice/experience/expose myself to the eye contact phenomena. I guess I'm bored. I happen to have been at alot of crowded malls, coffee shops, bookstores, and supermarkets.

The goal was just to experience it. It didn't matter how ugly, hot, fat, skinny they were. It didn't matter if they were 22 or 54.

I'm 47. In shape. Dress in a classic style. Fitted clothes. No dad bod with baggy sweatshirts and sneakers or any of that crap. Still have hair. About 5'11. I'd like to think I have a bit of a presence.

Well it feels like I am invisible. Over the last 3 days I must of passed at least 500 to 1000 women. I think I had eye contact with maybe 20 of them and about 6 or 7 actually held eye contact. Like held meaning the chemical in your brain release type held. That's all well and good.

I'm not concerned about the ones I made eye contact with. I'm more concerned about the lack of any type of eye contact.

Now, to be clear, I'm not a sociopath and I generally function in a socially acceptable manner. I'm not leering at them like an axe murderer or staring from a mile away.

Some I feel know I'm looking but refuse to move their gaze anywhere but in front of them.
That could mean they are totally disgusted by me and will not look at all.
It could mean they have no clue I exist.
Or, and this one is wishful thinking...they are the one intimidated.

I realize there is the availability quotient and attraction quotient involved. But is it possible, assuming I'm not a hideous ghoul, that 1000 women of all ages have zero interest in me or just looking at their surroundings in general?

And lastly I'm also aware people have crap to do and they are not out there looking for 47 year old dudes. But again just pure numbers I should be doing better than that.

The eye contact thing stumps me because everything you read, and I'm not talking about pua crap, I mean more legit science stuff about body language and eye contact, makes it sound like this should be happening 100s of times a day.
 

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Julian

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Welcome to 2019 where people avoid eye contact. Girls will blatantly avoid eye contact especially with guys they are attracted to due to insecurity and intimidation. Ive always thought to not approach until a chick gives strong eye contact and signals. Whilst this is a definitive giveaway she is attracted, lack of eye contact does not mean she isnt. So u have to get the attention of an approach anyone who interests you
 

zekko

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Give it some time, some days I go out and no woman will look at me. Other times I go out and I get lots of eye contact. It seems to be completely random. Not related to how I am dressed, how I look, or how confident or affable I am feeling.
 

stormrider

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Demographics. Some places the women are in your demographics and will notice you more, and some places, you are operating outside your demographics. Women go for type.

Like if a woman was into the bad boy type, a financial analyst type in office wear would walk right by her. This same guy can walk into a happy hour bar for professionals and suddenly he’s getting eye contact.
 

17 shots

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6 or 7 in three days isn't bad at all. You have to keep in mind that long periods of eye contact is a sign of high attraction. Not just normal attraction, but HIGH... so to expect that level of attraction all day every day, isn't really realistic. It's about knowing how to recognize it when you see it, and being able to capitalize off of it
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

halfguard

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6 or 7 in three days isn't bad at all. You have to keep in mind that long periods of eye contact is a sign of high attraction. Not just normal attraction, but HIGH... so to expect that level of attraction all day every day, isn't really realistic. It's about knowing how to recognize it when you see it, and being able to capitalize off of it
Yeah. I know. It wasn't the actual eye contact I was concerned about. It was the lack of any eye contact at all. The way people talk, write articles, and write whole books about it you'd think it happens constantly. Being in populated venues with a wide range of demographics I would've thought there would be way more eye contact in general. Even natural unintentional eye contact. Bizarre.
 

wifehunter

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Can we trade places? I wish I could be invisible, most of the time.

Instead, I'm constantly wondering if my fly is down, or if there are boogers in my nose.
 

Kotaix

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There's a lot to be said about lack of eye contact nowadays, especially in the seattle area where the 'Seattle freeze' is most def a thing. But to a certain degree that is almost an asset to you because you're the rare person who isn't trying to avert their gaze out of fear.

I've done the same experiment you have often. I'm not the best looking guy in the world and I'm only 5'7 but I've had success with it. I've found that open public areas where people are moving with some kind of purpose in mind are by far the worst for this kind of thing because they're usually lost in thought. Restaurants, bars and concerts are where I've had the most luck getting women to share eye contact. I'm not saying those are good places to pick up women, but it's a good place to practice.

Another thing: it's really not enough just to look women in the eye. You need to come across as happy, relaxed or carefree, and it has to be sincere; you have to smile at them with your eyes. It can be as little as appreciating her sexiness and smiling at her, or looking at her and pretending you know something she doesn't (which you do, always).

Also, when a woman shares and holds eye contact, don't be the first one to break contact and be sure to notice which way she looks. A woman that likes you will avert her look down first, and will look back at you around 10 seconds later to see if you're actually interested. If you smile at her at this point and she smiles back then you're ready to go, and you must act then and there.
 

halfguard

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There's a lot to be said about lack of eye contact nowadays, especially in the seattle area where the 'Seattle freeze' is most def a thing. But to a certain degree that is almost an asset to you because you're the rare person who isn't trying to avert their gaze out of fear.

I've done the same experiment you have often. I'm not the best looking guy in the world and I'm only 5'7 but I've had success with it. I've found that open public areas where people are moving with some kind of purpose in mind are by far the worst for this kind of thing because they're usually lost in thought. Restaurants, bars and concerts are where I've had the most luck getting women to share eye contact. I'm not saying those are good places to pick up women, but it's a good place to practice.

Another thing: it's really not enough just to look women in the eye. You need to come across as happy, relaxed or carefree, and it has to be sincere; you have to smile at them with your eyes. It can be as little as appreciating her sexiness and smiling at her, or looking at her and pretending you know something she doesn't (which you do, always).

Also, when a woman shares and holds eye contact, don't be the first one to break contact and be sure to notice which way she looks. A woman that likes you will avert her look down first, and will look back at you around 10 seconds later to see if you're actually interested. If you smile at her at this point and she smiles back then you're ready to go, and you must act then and there.
I know I'm really getting nuanced now...but I knew about the direction they look after eye contact is made. I knew if they look down there a good chance they are attracted/interested. What about sideways? Up? Does that mean they are repulsed? Is this look away rule set in stone? Just curious really.
 

Kotaix

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Nothing is set in stone when it comes to people, but the downwards look IS submissive and you should bear that in mind when observing your own body language as well. It's her followup look into your eyes that shows interest, a downward look by itself doesn't mean much. No one action means anything by itself, not even a kiss, you have to take everything in context.

You really need to change your mindset man. You're weighing whether women are repulsed by you or not, which means that you're hinging your own perception of yourself entirely on the perception others have of you. This is the wrong way to think, you are not defined by what others think of you, they don't know you.

I think you need to watch this, all of it, even though the beginning rambles a bit:
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

Lynx nkaf

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The last 3 or 4 days I've been on a big push to practice/experience/expose myself to the eye contact phenomena. I guess I'm bored. I happen to have been at alot of crowded malls, coffee shops, bookstores, and supermarkets.

The goal was just to experience it. It didn't matter how ugly, hot, fat, skinny they were. It didn't matter if they were 22 or 54.

I'm 47. In shape. Dress in a classic style. Fitted clothes. No dad bod with baggy sweatshirts and sneakers or any of that crap. Still have hair. About 5'11. I'd like to think I have a bit of a presence.

Well it feels like I am invisible. Over the last 3 days I must of passed at least 500 to 1000 women. I think I had eye contact with maybe 20 of them and about 6 or 7 actually held eye contact. Like held meaning the chemical in your brain release type held. That's all well and good.

I'm not concerned about the ones I made eye contact with. I'm more concerned about the lack of any type of eye contact.

Now, to be clear, I'm not a sociopath and I generally function in a socially acceptable manner. I'm not leering at them like an axe murderer or staring from a mile away.

Some I feel know I'm looking but refuse to move their gaze anywhere but in front of them.
That could mean they are totally disgusted by me and will not look at all.
It could mean they have no clue I exist.
Or, and this one is wishful thinking...they are the one intimidated.

I realize there is the availability quotient and attraction quotient involved. But is it possible, assuming I'm not a hideous ghoul, that 1000 women of all ages have zero interest in me or just looking at their surroundings in general?

And lastly I'm also aware people have crap to do and they are not out there looking for 47 year old dudes. But again just pure numbers I should be doing better than that.

The eye contact thing stumps me because everything you read, and I'm not talking about pua crap, I mean more legit science stuff about body language and eye contact, makes it sound like this should be happening 100s of times a day.
they are intimidated.


It can be difficult to determine what degree neanderthal versus homo sapiens a man is.

Is he liable to be violent in bed?
So when unsure what predominant, highest percentage species the man is, it is best not to encourage him with eye contact?

This is a theory that they are intimidated.

IIRC, homo sapiens follows neanderthal species in evolutionary history.

Also, it makes the assumption that more evolved men, homo sapiens, are less sexually violent towards women than their predecessors, the neanderthal and that lower sexual violence is preferred-also assuming the still-preferred Dominance does not equal sexual violence
 
Last edited:

Scaramouche

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Hi Lynx.
Seems Homo Sapien and Neanderthal co-existed,probably evolved separately in a time of fluctuating climate,remembering Bergmanns Law that similar species tend to be larger and hairyer where the climate is colder......Whether we dominated because of a superior intellect or a warmer climate swing is debatable.
 
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