There is always this idea that women like bad boys and regulate all the nice guys to just being friends. I’ve been around enough to see that this is really a false dichotomy.
Firstly, when a woman says to a guy, “you’re a really nice guy but….” it is just a polite way of telling the guy that she isn’t interested. As an illustration that it is not the guy's niceness that turns her off, consider the act of giving a girl a flower. If an ugly, social inept guy approaches a pretty woman and gives her a flower by way of introduction, it will do nothing to advance his cause, it might even creep her out. On the other hand, if a handsome confident guy approaches the same girl and gives her a flower by way of introduction, she will think that he is being so romantic and will treasure the flower. Women really do like nice guys, just not nice guys who are ugly and/or socially inept.
Most women don’t like bad boys at all. Most of the ones that are jerks are not at all jerks when they first approach women, most are highly charming. It is only after they have the girl hooked that they let their guard down and the girl begins to see that the guy is a jerk. Once she realizes that he is a jerk the relationship usually falls apart rather quickly.
I’m a nice guy, a very nice guy. I’m sure that most people who know me would agree that the statement, “he’s one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet” would apply to me. On the other hand many of my girlfriends have referred to me as their bad boy. The bad boy label comes, I’m sure, from my rebellious nature, and the fact that most men back down when I make a stance.
Recently I had this conversation with my favorite girl on the subject of being a jerk or not. We were out and ran into a couple of guys who she obviously knew very well. In the course of our conversation with them one of the guys made some comment about him seeing why she liked me so much. She responded with, “Finally people are starting to see what I see.” Later on as we talked she was telling me that when we first got together that a lot of guys were telling her how much of a jerk I was - the jerk designation just being sour grapes.
Firstly, when a woman says to a guy, “you’re a really nice guy but….” it is just a polite way of telling the guy that she isn’t interested. As an illustration that it is not the guy's niceness that turns her off, consider the act of giving a girl a flower. If an ugly, social inept guy approaches a pretty woman and gives her a flower by way of introduction, it will do nothing to advance his cause, it might even creep her out. On the other hand, if a handsome confident guy approaches the same girl and gives her a flower by way of introduction, she will think that he is being so romantic and will treasure the flower. Women really do like nice guys, just not nice guys who are ugly and/or socially inept.
Most women don’t like bad boys at all. Most of the ones that are jerks are not at all jerks when they first approach women, most are highly charming. It is only after they have the girl hooked that they let their guard down and the girl begins to see that the guy is a jerk. Once she realizes that he is a jerk the relationship usually falls apart rather quickly.
I’m a nice guy, a very nice guy. I’m sure that most people who know me would agree that the statement, “he’s one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet” would apply to me. On the other hand many of my girlfriends have referred to me as their bad boy. The bad boy label comes, I’m sure, from my rebellious nature, and the fact that most men back down when I make a stance.
Recently I had this conversation with my favorite girl on the subject of being a jerk or not. We were out and ran into a couple of guys who she obviously knew very well. In the course of our conversation with them one of the guys made some comment about him seeing why she liked me so much. She responded with, “Finally people are starting to see what I see.” Later on as we talked she was telling me that when we first got together that a lot of guys were telling her how much of a jerk I was - the jerk designation just being sour grapes.