Bad aftermath after a F-Close

[DjVelvet]

Hi guys. A Strange situation happening..

I went to Korea for holiday. Living @ a family-run hostel that hosts travellers around the world. I took a single room by myself.

I met up with a Korean Girlfriend whom we have not been contacting for months. And things are rekindling slowly and She drove me back to my hostel (They forbid non-registered guests) and F-closed her (great sex btw). I told her that she can sleep over (kinda lying to her coz she's not authorized to stay in)

After the hot session, she was really tired and I told her in a very tactful manner that.. She has to leave.. (Bastard of me…) Coz she had her car parked at a door front of the hostel and the host will be really mad if he saw unauthorized guests.

She is kinda disappointed by what I said and said she will drive back home alone. (It was midnight and she's really tired). I apologise to her and offered to send her back and she was like "Its okay… I will leave, you need not see me out"

Call her the next day (My last day in korea) for lunch, she declined. And she called me before I flew off and we had some farewell chat.. But I go AFC purposely becoz I felt really really Bad about asking her to leave..I should have let her stay and heck care everything. and end everything on a high note.

Apparently, We knew that we will no longer be seeing one another anymore, as there aren't plans for us to travel to one another's country in the near future. I called her when I'm back and told her "I will be missing you, see you somewhere in the world." I know that's the last call I may ever make to her..

I moved on of coz. But these few days.. This situation is tormenting me and make me feel so so BAD.. Originally, she mentioned about plans to come to my country casually, but after the bastardized move, I think she won't. I don't know.

In fact I felt sad. I'm not a bastard. I feel for her. Jerk me…
I may be sending her some nice emails to her to mention that. She's never forgotten by me.

She was nice to me when I first arrived.. Treating me dinner, being a guide. Sweet and caring too. But can see she may have other sex partners.

A different point of view?

 

[warpy]

hostel rules, what kind of bs is that ? you should have hid the car somewhere up the road lol and have her for seconds.

if you apologized once, twice, its enough. if she doesnt bite on the apology then she doesnt want to. you can always invite her for when she comes, but i am sure the guys here will say "whatever".

 

[( . )( . )]

Geeez man get back to reality. You asked the bird to move because you had no choice, its not like you asked her to donate a kidney.

You have to ask yourself if you truly treated her badly, would you be this torn up if you asked one of your buddies to move his car?

But couldnt she have just parked down the road?.

And youve got oneitis btw, spin more plates.

 

[DjVelvet]

Geeez man get back to reality. You asked the bird to move because you had no choice, its not like you asked her to donate a kidney.

You have to ask yourself if you truly treated her badly, would you be this torn up if you asked one of your buddies to move his car.

But couldnt she have just parked down the road?.

And youve got oneitis btw, spin more plates.

The main point's not the car. Its she's not allowed there, but anyway, i could have **** care everything and let her stay on, my bad.

Its not Oneitis. I'm more than ready to move on. I just appreciate the time we had together.. and felt guilty that I have to ask her to leave.

Ask anyone. If you just **** a girl, and ask her to leave after washing up.. how will the girl feel? I made her feel cheap. & It has already stabbed deep into my morals.

i Told her that she can stay and sleep over. and I have to tell her to leave. My bad. What's more. I broke her trust, I made my last day of seeing her a bad ending.

but lesson learnt

 

[( . )( . )]

Ask anyone. If you just **** a girl, and ask her to leave after washing up.. how will the girl feel? I made her feel cheap.

Yeah sure its pretty sucky for both of you, but I personally think your making it a bigger issue than it really is.

Let it go and learn for next time. Dont kick a chick out of bed, you may want to bone her in the morning.

 

[Latinoman]

DJVelvet...sex aside and Hostel situation aside (by the way, you should have broken the rules, especially after all she did for you during your stay)...I think you should send her a letter.

A hand written type letter.

The type that truly means a LOT to people and is more personal.

In the letter, thank her for dinner and the tours and how she proved to be a great friend. Also, tell her she was sweet and caring. And finally, tell her that you rarely have regrets in life...but this time you had ONE regret. And that regret was abiding by the hostel rules. That she deserved more. And that someday you would love to have the chance to make it up to her.

Do that in HAND writing and send it to her.

Is this AFC? Sure. But it is INTENTIONAL AFC and is harmless. After all, you would probably never see her again. But you don't want to leave her "damaged".

You want to do the right thing. Do it with a hand written (and more personal) letter.

She treated you more than nicely (dinner, guide, etc.). She deserves as much.

What this letter is going to do? First, it will make you feel GOOD about yourself. And second, it will make her feel GOOD about herself.

A true win/win situation.

 

[warpy]

latino man is right.

 

[amoka]

Latinoman is the man. I nominate him a moderator for sosuave....for those in favour say "I"

 

[Latinoman]

Latinoman is the man. I nominate him a moderator for sosuave....for those in favour say "I"

Thanks man...but I cannot moderate. Don't have the time. And quite honestly, it is a matter of time before I have to leave this place anyway (possible career change).

But thanks.

 

[warpy]

you better not latinoman

 

[DjVelvet]

DJVelvet...sex aside and Hostel situation aside (by the way, you should have broken the rules, especially after all she did for you during your stay)...I think you should send her a letter.

A hand written type letter.

The type that truly means a LOT to people and is more personal.

In the letter, thank her for dinner and the tours and how she proved to be a great friend. Also, tell her she was sweet and caring. And finally, tell her that you rarely have regrets in life...but this time you had ONE regret. And that regret was abiding by the hostel rules. That she deserved more. And that someday you would love to have the chance to make it up to her.

Do that in HAND writing and send it to her.

Is this AFC? Sure. But it is INTENTIONAL AFC and is harmless. After all, you would probably never see her again. But you don't want to leave her "damaged".

You want to do the right thing. Do it with a hand written (and more personal) letter.

She treated you more than nicely (dinner, guide, etc.). She deserves as much.

What this letter is going to do? First, it will make you feel GOOD about yourself. And second, it will make her feel GOOD about herself.

A true win/win situation.

I had a big smile after reading this post =)

One thing is that I had apologised about 2 times verbally and doing so will make it seems a bit "apologising too much". Or rather. I will use some but not all of your advice.

Instead of apologising,
"In the letter, thank her for dinner and the tours and how she proved to be a great friend. Also, tell her she was sweet and caring. And that someday you would love to have the chance to make it up to her."

I think it is enough to make her feel good.

As what ( . )( . ) said, I personally make the issue bigger than it really is.

This lesson is great. I personally learnt that sex is not everything, a lot of emotions (Its different from Oneitis) and Feelings are involved.

I will ask for her mailing address tomorrow.