"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Backup Plan

Maximummax

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There was a thread about backup plan and i think this topic fits right into it

This is from a yahoo article:

DEAR ABBY: My husband has stage 4 cancer and is in constant pain. A big worry for him is my being alone in life after his passing. Several months ago when the subject came up, I told him that while I'm not a prophet, I know I'll be OK. I'm a social person. I have a nice support group with various organizations, and I'm close with family and co-workers, etc.


Four months ago, a high school friend and I reconnected. We have shared many conversations and have built a meaningful relationship. The gnawing question is, do I share this information with my husband now, wait until he mentions his leaving me alone again or say nothing? There is a fine line here between putting my husband's fears to rest and potentially making him feel he will be easily replaced.



This is not a topic I feel comfortable sharing with my friends. I'm curious what other women have done in similar situations. Do they explore the new situation, have an affair or maintain a celibate relationship? Your response will help with some of the stress I'm having at this juncture. -- NOT EASILY REPLACED



So someguy is going to die soon because of cancer and his wife is already made plans to hookup with the next guy.

Branch swinging in full action here folks
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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GS750

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Women always have a backup plan. And a backup plan to backup the backup plan. This woman seems more concerned with branch swinging than her husbands impending death. Now that's fvcked up.
 

bmp2cpm

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Women know and remember EVERY guy that's shown an interest in them over the years. Thanks to Facebook, when things go south in their relationship, they contact the best of the prospects and subtlety let them know they are available and if the man shows interest, it will be worth his while. This is what women do. They are programmed to get resources from a man, and when the situation changes, they go back to that list of men. A husband dying of cancer can no longer offer the woman resources, outside of a life insurance policy.

This is why ALL women don't mind men with resources who express a subtle interest in them. If you show interest subtlety with a woman who is attached, you will never get rejected. All women know what you are doing and they mentally put your name down on the waiting list of men that can provide her with resources, and your name may or may not get called.

I have a women I worked with contact me 9 years after I left a job in another state to let me know subtlely she could be mine if I wanted. She had a boatload of children, sweet girl though. I had another one send me a Facebook invite 5 years after we worked together. She knew I showed interest and let me know as soon as she was available. She was a smoker though and I passed.

My point is, that this is what all women do. Love to a woman is an emotional attachment to a guy that expresses interest and can provide her with resources. It's evolution. Trying to shame women for this is kind of laughable. It's all about survival of the species, not the man and woman. It's never about you in a relationship, it's about meeting evolutionary needs of each other. This is why society is so messed up. We like to think we are so evolved, but we really aren't much different than animals in terms of needs for resources for women and need of sex for men, yet everyone has their head in the sand and likes to believe we are so civilized.
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Max,
Don't take dear Abby too seriously...The style in so many of them is very similar...I suspect she has "Free Lancers"knocking these out for her,she edits them and publishes them...The source for the situations described in these letters is probably,amongst other places, this site...She and others like her in the Popular Press,might explain the rash of trolls we were getting last year?
 

Maximummax

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Scaramouche said:
Hi Max,
Don't take dear Abby too seriously...The style in so many of them is very similar...I suspect she has "Free Lancers"knocking these out for her,she edits them and publishes them...The source for the situations described in these letters is probably,amongst other places, this site...She and others like her in the Popular Press,might explain the rash of trolls we were getting last year?
Understood..thank you
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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G_Govan

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bmp2cpm said:
Women know and remember EVERY guy that's shown an interest in them over the years. Thanks to Facebook, when things go south in their relationship, they contact the best of the prospects and subtlety let them know they are available and if the man shows interest, it will be worth his while. This is what women do. They are programmed to get resources from a man, and when the situation changes, they go back to that list of men. A husband dying of cancer can no longer offer the woman resources, outside of a life insurance policy.

This is why ALL women don't mind men with resources who express a subtle interest in them. If you show interest subtlety with a woman who is attached, you will never get rejected. All women know what you are doing and they mentally put your name down on the waiting list of men that can provide her with resources, and your name may or may not get called.

I have a women I worked with contact me 9 years after I left a job in another state to let me know subtlely she could be mine if I wanted. She had a boatload of children, sweet girl though. I had another one send me a Facebook invite 5 years after we worked together. She knew I showed interest and let me know as soon as she was available. She was a smoker though and I passed.

My point is, that this is what all women do. Love to a woman is an emotional attachment to a guy that expresses interest and can provide her with resources. It's evolution. Trying to shame women for this is kind of laughable. It's all about survival of the species, not the man and woman. It's never about you in a relationship, it's about meeting evolutionary needs of each other. This is why society is so messed up. We like to think we are so evolved, but we really aren't much different than animals in terms of needs for resources for women and need of sex for men, yet everyone has their head in the sand and likes to believe we are so civilized.
Agreed.

I actually don't feel bad about her doing this. The guy has stage 4 cancer and WILL die sooner than later.

The only thing I'd ask if I were him is to keep the information away from me. Let me die believing there wasn't anyone else until I pass. She can at least give him that.
 
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