Background checks

[Murk]

If you are seeing a girl, just met a girl or maybe it's an LTR situation - would you be for or against asking a mutual friend about them?

Maybe for instance you see a mutual connection you know well enough, would you ask "hey X... what do you know about X".

I've asked 2 friends and they both had different views, one said it makes you look bad/comes across as stalkerish. The other said yes, find out what you can, why not, get ask much info as possible to make a decision on a woman.

I think if it's a girl I just met, I'd definitely run a background check. If it's an LTR I would be less inclined, if it was my wife, I think that's going too far (should have been vetted properly before it got to that stage).

Which do you guys think?

 

[Barrister]

I would never ask a mutual friend if that mutual friend is also a woman. She will invariably run her mouth to the wrong person and it will get back to the woman you are interested in that you asked about her. Men usually won't make a big deal about another man asking about a woman (although that is not always the case).

I can't imagine asking about anything other than a brand new chick. If you have progressed to LTR status you should know plenty about her at that point without needing to ask someone else "hey what do you think of my wife/girlfriend."

 

[Billtx49]

Gained social knowledge about a new woman’s past behavior is part of vetting. If she’s crazy, other women will often broach the subject about her first, if so it can be a veiled warning - “She used to act so crazy, but now she’s so much better with you.”

 

[Bingo-Player]

If you can do it , do it

could very well save you a big headache in the long run

 

[Gamisch]

Hmm I would be careful with this. Being discrete when dealing with women is important. Although you might win some info left right if you REALLY knows those GUYS well.

By being discrete you basically say without words you keep your options open and are unwilling to fully commit. Remember, guys can be the worst cackblocks.

"Hey Kimberly so what you dating Murk now? " .

By the way, did you ditch your HF or you just swinging on the branch?

 

[threeforfree]

In my state, there is an "eDocket" app that I put on my phone that shows every single court interaction of a person, even if they took a traffic ticket to court. Searchable by name. It comes in handy. Criminal, civil... it's all there.