Backbreaker's 9 Laws for Successful People (Law 1)

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
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#1
Prologue

I wrote this a few years ago actually so there are some parts here that will seem dated as i'm just copying and pasting. I did write the last part of each one as I uploaded this to give everyone a pragmatic use of the law and how it works / benefits. I read this cover to cover every morning before I do anything else. I pull no stories from anyone but myself and my own personal life.

As a man, everyone has to figure out their way in the world. Some do it better than others. Just about everyone stumbles on the way. But we make sense of it and move forward.

I don't profess to be the smartest, wisest person on earth. It doesn't matter how much money I make, how tall I am, how many chicks I've banged or what kinda house I live in. These are the things that matter:


1. I'm quite happy. Everyday.
2. I've never NOT done anything I've put my mind to (Eventually)
3. People seem to like me (IRL lol)
4. I have extremely high self esteem and feel great about myself. When I wake up and look in the mirror, I want to be the person that I see looking back at me and no one else.
5. I do not have one penny of debt.
6. My self worth has tripled EACH of the last 3 years.



I've done nothing more than what I'm about to share with you on a daily basis. That's it. Rather you want to be better with women, have a kick ass network of friends, or develop a successful business, this is the blueprint.

Every time in life I have a setback or something does not go to plan, I contemplate what part I played and what I could do better, and make sure I don't make that mistake again. That's how all I derived 100% of this content.


I'll make 1 post / Law a day to give people time to fully digest each point.


These are in chronological order of my life, as I learned them.




 
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backbreaker

Master Don Juan
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#2
Backbreaker's First Law

Never put your self esteem or self worth in the hands of anyone but yourself


1. Backstory

February 10th, 2005

10 and a half months earlier, I had sold a company that I co founded for a tiddy 7 figure sum. I was a 21 year old millionaire. I had a drop dead gorgeous girlfriend who loved me. I had a kick ass loft, I had a kick ass car, I had a kick ass life. Today, Feb 10th, 2005, had I told you I started, built, ran and sold a company and was a millionaire you'd laugh in my face. 5 days ago a girl that I had developed real feelings for, cheated on me.. she was like the 10th in a string of 6 months that did so. I really thought this one was different and when i found out, I had one, and only one mission... To go on a crack cocaine bender of which the likes the world has not yet witnessed. I was either going to smoke them all out of my mind or kill myself and there was not gonna be any in between. In what was quite possibly the most logical, well thought out crack beige in history, I sit down at my kitchen table, write out a list of all this is gonna take

1. Crack lol = $3,500 (a zip of coke)
2. Hydros (takes away the geekiness of the crack) $150 (25 )
3. Girls (found the hottest escort on craigslist and asked her how much it would cost for her to spend a week with me, she threw out a number and I said okay) $15,000
4. Hotel Room $1,400
5. Utensils $100
6. cleaning supplies $50
7. clothes (can't go around smelling like crack lol but don't want to crack up my good clothes) $200
8. Porn ($30)
9. Lotion ($10)
10. Food $300 (take out, food, etc)


5 days, 21k later, 9am or so in the morning, it's pouring raining outside, food all on the floor, crack pipes in the bathroom, on the bed, by the TV, on the TV, under the bed. After smoking every last drop of about 2 and a half ozs of crack (i cooked it myself, bought a zip it blew up to 2.5) , i'm laying on the floor, too tired to cry, too lazy to clean up, with a bottle of Grey Goose in one hand and a pistol in the other seriously contemplating killing myself. Because at this point, **** it why not? The way my mind works, I was so worthless as a person, that a woman I paid $15k to just to pretend to like me, wouldn't have sex with me, pretty much took my money and left after the 2nd day. I literally could not pay for someone to like me. Honest to god, any woman on earth could have showed me the slightest bit of attention and she'd be my wife today.


I didn't want anymore crack. I didn't want the crack I bought honestly, I wanted to not feel like I felt. And I felt worse now.


I sat there on the floor for a good hour. Literally not knowing what to do. Clean up and go home? Jump out the window? Buy more crack? Play Madden? All these are legit options at this point. What exactly do you do after the lowest point in your life.



At about 11:30am, as I remember finally getting up off the floor because I wanted to start cleaning up in case the maid ignored the do not distrub sign and tried to come in, I asked myself the most important question i've ever asked:


"How the the hell did I go from successfully selling a company to smoking 2 ozs of crack in 5 days and not getting laid"


the question is so outlandish i laughed for 5 mins straight when I said it out loud.

Then I realized, it was a pretty good ****ing question.

Was it God punishing me for something?
Was I a bad / evil person?
Is it because I'm a drug addict?


I got out some paper and started to write down thoughts. Was it god? I had stopped going to church. But I wasn't a horrible person. I had a big heart, and I always tried to help people. Even if it god was punishing me, he wouldn't do so in this grand of a fashion I don't think. I never ****ed anyone over.. a dealer once left an entire oz of meth at my house by accident and i didn't so much as open it, called him and told him to come get it. I've never intentionally screwed anyone over. Just not in my nature.


I admitted that I could very well be a drug addict which is why when my old female Onieits "forced" me to go into rehab 2 days later, I complied. It was time.


But the more I thought about this, the clearer the REAL answer became. Look at everyone around me. It all started with one girl, who I met who got me on drugs, who got me around a crowd, where i met another girl who treated me like **** and made me feel like ****, and i cried and told another girl who proceeded to verbally abuse me and treat me like ****, which made me use even more drugs and one night i saw this other girl who was obviously high as a kite lol and we "clicked" and one thing led to another and we "dated" and she used me and cheated on me and i felt like ****, then out of the blue a girl who i met through the first girl called me and told me she always had a crush on me and liked me and we started dating and it was great til she also cheated on me lol, which lead to the above incident.


I was letting ****ty people in my life. I was letting ****ty people who added no value to my life, determine how I felt about myself. 2 years earlier i had enough balls to approach a miami heat cheerleader, F close her and have her cook me pancakes lol before dropping her off at the team hotel. Now I had so little confidence in myself was so low, that i was literally paying women to just sit there and be in the same room with me which they would not.


Somewhere inside myself, I'm sure it's DEEEP in there at this point, is that same guy that F closed the cheerleader.


One of the things I've always said about the drug use period of my life, that I still stand by, it's not so much the drugs, it's the people you associate with when doing drugs that kill you. honestly if we had Aurora 12 years ago i'd probably still be using today, if i could get my 8ball of coke every once in a while and just do it alone by myself and not have to deal with anyone at all. I've NEVER in my life physically craved a drug. I've craved the need to not feel like I was feeling to the point where i was ready to kill myself however. And the reason I was feeling the way I was feeling about myself is that the people in my life, were step by step zapping the confidence and self worth I had.


At that very moment, around 3pm or so, I determined, I was never going to feel the way I feel at this moment ever again in my life. you can only feel like this once and live through it. I also determine that never, EVER again will I let anyone but myself determine how I feel about myself.


I then asked myself this question, the same question I ask myself to this day every morning

"What would it take for you to be happy with yourself and your actions today"

that particular day the list was pretty short

1. clean up the hotel room. it was filthy and i'm not a filthy person
2. watch an NBA basketball game. I was so busy getting high I had not watched ONE game all year long.
3. Call my parents, my oneitis, my ex who still cared about me and tell them exactly what i did and that i was sorry.
4. Go to the clothing store and buy myself SOMETHING lol. I hadn't bought an outfit in a year for myself. I still had quite a bit of money in my savings account. i was literally spending all my time smoking crack lol. I LOVED clothes way too much to not buy myself anything at all in a year.
5. Go to Auntie Annies and get a pretzel with strawberry cream sauce
6. Start reading Daunte's Inferno. It's a book I had for a while, i wanted to read it, i never did. If i could read a few chapters of this today, i would feel pretty good about myself.


Not a big list. But I set off with a purpose that I hadn't had in a while. cleaned up, took a shower. I Because I wanted to consolidate the getting bitched out, I called everyone at once on a conference call in the office of the hotel I was at lol told them pretty much point by point exactly what i did, and that I was pretty sure it wouldn't happen again, I was sorry and I'm doing a lot of soul searching right now. I mean what the **** can you really say i just smoked a bunch of crack and watched porn for 4 days straight lol. That's pretty much a drop the mic moment. I also knew all of them, except my mom of course, would control their actions in the presence of others. Go to the store, pick out a pretty spiffy polo outfit and some shoes, get a new bottle of colonge, stop by the pretzel store, get home just in time to watch a kobeless lakers get thumped by the pistons. I don't think I ever enjoyed watching a game so much in my life.


After that, I open up the Devine Comedy, which I had to go out and buy becuase I left it at home and that was too far away and got so into the book that i had not realized i had missed 10 calls from my plug lol. I did not go to sleep until late, late that night and was more than half way done with it


Earlier that morning I wanted to die. By the time I went to bed, I had a smile on my face, and while I knew I had a long way to go, I felt like I genuinely had a good day and if I put enough good days together, I can do anything I put my mind to.

 

backbreaker

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#3
2. You and only YOU can make you happy

The reason that one of my favorite books is the fountainhead is that it soughs at the idea of altruism. Everyone has an agenda. EVERY.ONE. Theirs. The question isn't if they have or do not have an agenda, the question is does their agenda align with yours? I had an agenda with everything I did. When I let girls smoke with me I wanted to ****. When I did something nice, I I expected I something to be done nice in return. I donate to feed the children but would I do it if I didn't get a tax break for it? Honestly, probably not. When I go to church and pray, I expect good things to happen and not bad things.

Everyone in my life had a clear agenda. To get the money in my savings account. Guys always wanted to play my fav video games when I came around. Girls always wore **** me pumps when I came around. Everyone in my life, saw me as Willy Wonka serving out everlasting crackrocks lol.


No one in my life, cared honestly if I was happy or not. ****, I really didn't care honestly if they were happy either. If a female who I was attracted to was unhappy i'd pretend to care to try to have sex lol, but I really could care less about their happiness. Even if they DID care, they could not make me happy. There is nothing anyone in my life could have done at that time to make me happy. I thought about the ultimate happy day.. what If I woke up and they threw me a surprise pool party where there was a playstation hooked up to a 65 inch screen TV and all girls were required to be hot and wear **** me pumps with bikini's and we ate fresh hot mcdonalds fries and whopper jr's, drank hi c's and vodka all day long and there was a drawing every hour to see which girl got the opportunity to give me a blow job? That's a pretty ****ing awesome day lol. It would make a great story. But I'd be miserable again the next day. There is not a crack rock so potent that you smoke it and say "yep.. this did it lol. I've been looking for this crackrock my entire life and I've found it. okay let's go shoot hoops". There is not one girl that was so hot that had I got with would have made me happy. In that time I'd managed to have sex with girls, some quite hot, and I was still willing to kill myself. There is only ONE person on earth that can make me happy, ME.
 

backbreaker

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#4
3. If a person is in your life and they do not directly make you a better person or money, cut them out of it, right now

I then realized, there was not a single person in my life that made me a better person. Had Kat (Oneitis) not shown she gave a **** by "demanding" I go to rehab she'd gotten tossed to. She didn't make me better, but she cared. Plus she always was down to go grab a bite to eat and **** and that was cool.My dad, who tried to **** my then GF, got tossed. My mother who never did really like me all that much to be honest, got tossed. I had an uncle who made me a better person, we talked about books we read a lot and he was smart (the one that died last year) . I kept him around. For months, these were the only 2 people I would talk to. At all. If you were not my uncle or my oneitis, I wanted absolutely nothing to do with you. I would go to rehab officially 2 days later so that had a lot to do with it as well, but I had never improved so much as a person in the next 6 months than in this time. I had NO drama in my life. The few bad days I had, were 100% my fault, for stuff I did not do and were instantly fixed. I became a much happier person. Not once, not for an instant did I ever have the urge to use because no one was making me feel like ****. I was doing the things I wanted to do, I was doing the things I thought I had to do to be successful and I was happy.

My uncle pushed me mentally harder than I'd ever been pushed in my life. He's the reason I still read something everyday. We were having conversations you just don't hear black men have lol. We had a mini book club, we'd pick a book read it and talk about it every week. He started to take a turn for the worse around this time (sickle c ell) and it felt good too giving him something to look forward to, but if he thought you were being easy on him he'd have none of it."My nigga lol, Winston ain't no different than anyone else in the book even the **** that he ain't supposed to be doing, is stuff monitored by the state. Is that any different than today? Is there a law saying black men can't sling cigarettes instead of crack? Nigga do you not understand that you're Winston lol? Do you not understand that right now you're the token black guy that america hold's up and say's we're equal yet at the same time, you're doing exactly what they want you to do, destroy yourself and keep your own people down" mind= blown lol I literally got more out of reading 1984 than I did in 10 years in AA. You can call me a lot of things, but when you call me a token black guy now dammit that's it lol.

My mother and I didn't talk until I got my now wife pregnant with my son Joseph and I wanted my son to know his family. And even then, I told her that the day that you don't add value to my life, you're gone. The day you start to use my sister as a rod to go to church, bye. The day you start to do anything that's going to make me lose confidence in myself, I don't give a **** if my son comes to me crying where is his grandma i'll tell him you might as well consider her dead, because you're never gonna see her. We both have a common interest.. the well being of my son. That's the ONLY reason I'm talking to you now.

My dad, has never seen either of his grandkids and we don't talk. Wouldn't know them if they ran up to him. I saw him at my uncle's funeral and I refused to sit with family because it meant I would have had to sit with him. We haven't talked in over a decade. If he has something to say to me, like your uncle died, he calls my mom and she calls me. If I have to say anything to him, like, hey you got a granddaughter, I call mom and she tells him. I went to the funeral and left. I owed my uncle that much. I don't owe my dad ****. If my dad was in the electric chair I'd throw water on him and start the wave in the crowd.


I want my kids to know their family, but I don't see the reason my kids have to know the man who impregnated my mother. Because to me that's all that mother****er is.

Whoever said that family is all, never had a ****ty one. If you have people in your family holding you back or putting you down, **** em. Bye.


After this whole ordeal, my uncle is the ONLY person in my family (sister's college fund as well but she still has 2 years before she getrs it, and it's looking like she won't need it anyway) that i ever gave a penny to, and this is a man so ****ing proud, he refused to pick up the phone and call and ask for a new oxgyen tank because his insurance wouldn't cover it and the new one he had was starting to not work. This man was literally ready to ****ing die because resorting to begging was beneath him. ****ing G. I told him if i ever had to hear from someone else that he needed something i'd kill him myself.

6'6, 170 pounds soak and wet, sickly his entire life, died a virgin and was the most manly of men i've ever met in my life.
 
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backbreaker

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#5
4. Develop a one strike rule

After a few months of sobriety, some tough love from uncle mike and getting in the gym it was time to expand the circle a tad. There is not a lot of good that comes around spending a year smoking crack and hanging with druggies. There is ONE however. I knew bull**** the instant i heard it now. And good people, people worth keeping around, will show they are keeping aorund early, bad people will show they have no value early.


My mother, for all her faults, is honestly a good person. She's the type of person that if she tells you she's gonna pick you up, is gonna call you 30 mins before she leaves, when she leaves, when she's 15 mins from your house, when she's outside. If she can't get there, she's gonna make sure you get where you're going somehow. If someone met my mother and some how, the she had to pick them up and couldn't, it would still be quite clear that she's a person of high value by how she handled the situation. If I tell a client I'm going to put together a proposal before i go to bed, that's gonna get done. More than once, I've literally fallen asleep at the computer because I told someone i would do something before i go to bed. If I tell you i'm going to do something, that's gonna happen. The few instances that it doesn't happen, i'm going to go out of my way to make it up to you, whoever it is.;Because that's not me and my word is my bond. That's my morality, that's how I was raised, and that's what I expect from the people around me.


I'm militant about my sobriety, even 11 years later. The day I started smoking crack, that morning i didn't even know what a crack pipe looked like. It can happen that quick, so I take no chances. You don't get 3 strikes with me, you get one. All it takes is one ****ty person with an agenda to lead me right back in that hotel room with a pistol and a bottle of gray goose.

Girl flakes and doesn't handle the situation in a manner I deem acceptable = bye. Dude says he's gonna be somewhere and doesn't show up = bye. Work with someone who says they are going to do something and don't do it, and don't provide an extremely rational reason why =- bye. No drama. No games. And you know what, i'm clean, i'm happy, i'm at peace and i was right in just about every one of those situations.

 

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backbreaker

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#6
5. Leave your emotions at the door; let the children feed themselves

People, women in particular, are like ****ing viruses lol they adapt like a mother****er. I have soft spot for kids. Always have. The ONLY time I honestly gave 2 ****s about any girl's situation other than trying to get my **** sucked is when a kid is involved. I don't know how this is obvious but women stopped coming at me directly and started coming at me with " i just need help, i'm trying so hard and no one loves me and i just want me and my kid to be happy" or some variation of that. And that would get me right in the kisser every time. EVERY. TIME. i want the little kids to be happy. I care about kids. I'm naturally an awesome ****ing father. I'll sit there and play with my son all ****ing day long **** everyone else.

Around 2 years clean, I got burned a few times, not even by so much women I wanted to ****, but by women who were using the kid card to get in my life and me thinking there is no way they would not look after their kids best interest lol WRONG.

A woman with an agenda is more merciless than solid snake in metal gear solid. Not.A.Single.****.Given.

lol I once gave a girl who was starting an accounting firm my business, again because she got me in the feels. She took my Credit Card info and went and bought 12 dollars worth of mox sticks from sonic. I get a beep every time my credit card is used and Instantly reported it stolen. This woman basically ruined her child's life over 12 ****ing dollars of mozzarella sticks. Let me repeat this. This woman had a clear fork in her career path. Do a good job of managing my accounts, grow her business, get her son in a better school, start to save money, live a better and productive live OR steal credit card information, go to sonic, buy mozzarella sticks lol.


Let's visually compare the two


Good middle class life





Sonic's mozzarella sticks



I'm sure she would have bought something else had I not called her right after , as it was a new card and she was literally the only other person that had it and told her the next time she tired to use the card she'd be arrested as I had reported it stolen.

(lol later that night, because I had never had them, I said "dammit I have to see how good these things are" so I drive to sonic and get some myself. I mean these mother****ers have to be pretty ****ing good to do that **** for. I do admit I was surprised they are quite good.)

The fallacy in my logic was thinking, she actually CARED about her kid. She didn't. She used the fact that YOU THOUGHT she cared about her kids to get what she wants. A woman with an agenda, will use a kid as bait faster than you can blink and won't think twice about it, nor will feel bad about it either.

I used to get down when I saw all the feed the children commercials. Those little dudes can go feed themselves. Over the top? Probably. But there are absolutely no cracks in my foundation today. You're not getting in my life unless you provide value and make me better. Kids, ebola, god, sex, none of it. Value. The reason my wife is in fact my wife, is because she makes me a better person. And she's kinda cute lol. kinda.

 

backbreaker

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#7
6. Exceptions
There are absolutely none. Your self esteem / self worth is the most important thing you have. Letting the wrong person in your life can at best, set you back, at worse, kill you. I could have very easily died on Feb 10th, 2005.
 

backbreaker

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#8
7. Practical use of law in real life

I have a protegee who I have somewhat taken under my wings. He's gonna run my business one day, and he's gonna do a great ****ing job. He's me 12 years ago.

We were looking for a new programmer about 3 months ago, and he really liked this one guy. He called him up, they have a great conversation. He really is sold on this guy. We have a hiring process, for me to officially hire you / bring you on, I'm going to give you 4 very specific meaningless jobs (to us) and I want to see how you handle all of them. A mixture of ifficulty, time frame, custom programming versus plugin use, PSD html, and working on weekends which I demand if something HAS to get done. I'm not turning anyone lose on my real clients some of which i have relationships so good with that i can send a 10k invoice to, not put a reason why i'm sending it, and it will be paid by the end of the business day, no questions asked. For you to get to work on this guy's ****, you got to earn my trust. This guy on the first job, my guy is sick so I have to look at the work. one of the tasks he had to do was take a custom programmed design, the same one we've used for the last 2 years hiring people, integrate it in the site. We've literally done this exact same thing hundreds of times. I have to pretend this is a real job so I wake up on a sunday morning and look at update, he says he's 70% done with it, i look at it, it looks like ****. i say where is it. he says "it's there you don't see it?" instantly i blocked him on skype and went back to sleep. i knew then he had no clue what he was doing.


My guy gets back the next day and actually, kinda ballsy, goes off on me lol. Which is part of the reason i like him, he's a natural born leader. he'll let you know if you're wrong or he doesn't give a **** who you are. Instead of arguing with him, i say okay, if he's still working with you by the end of the month, I'll personally pay for you and your girlfriend to go to any restaurant in the city, order anything you ****ing want, name it, done. If he's not, you have to come over here with your girlfriend and cook for all three of us and you're buying the food.


It was the 20th of Feb. **** this is a leap year too lol. 9 ****ing days he thought he could do that standing on his head. Dude couldn't make it to the end of the week. He was clueless, he wasted time, he took time away from other jobs and his work started to show. He was getting less sleep and his girlfriend and him were fighting because this dude was frustrating the **** out of him. He's from Brazil so I made him cook some Brazil **** i never heard of that was quite good lol.


My protegee is a graphic designer by trade. He's just 20. The very ****ing first design I ever saw him do for us, I literally hung up the phone with who I was talking to, got in my car, drove to his job, waited for him to get off work and basically made him quit lol. I was prepared to spend the night at his house if i had to. I wasn't leaving his presence until he worked for me. I HAD to have this guy. The attention to the most minute of details was like nothing I had ever seen in my life. I don't care what it cost. I don't care what it took. I wanted him. It was clear early on the value he had and what he could do.
 
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DiegoSantori

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#10
Read the whole thing. It's definitely one of the most interesting and entertaining stories I've read in a while but I'm not 100 % sure if everything happened in real life. If everything is true & real, you definitely experienced Hollywood-style situations which simply beg to be filmed.

You said that you and only YOU can make you happy. I think, this is extremely difficult to achieve. It's hard to be happy when you don't get what you want. Trying to force a smile upon your face when you're sad feels like a cheap distraction from the truth.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

amazingswayze

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#11
Backbreaker, you're only 29? You sure have been through a whole lot of crap. This thread is different in the sense that it really doesn't have much do with pu$$y, but rather how to be a better man. I think this is the type of stuff we need on our forums. No nonsense.

Thanks bro, I look forward to reading the last two laws.
 

mrgoodstuff

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#12
Read the whole thing. It's definitely one of the most interesting and entertaining stories I've read in a while but I'm not 100 % sure if everything happened in real life. If everything is true & real, you definitely experienced Hollywood-style situations which simply beg to be filmed.

You said that you and only YOU can make you happy. I think, this is extremely difficult to achieve. It's hard to be happy when you don't get what you want. Trying to force a smile upon your face when you're sad feels like a cheap distraction from the truth.
But you can be happy that you are the man you are, even if you have not achieved your goals. Happiness is important, being a grump or angry all the time Is not too attractive. I believe we can ALL be happy if we know we are living the way we want to live or at least on the correct path to it.
 

DiegoSantori

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#13
But you can be happy that you are the man you are, even if you have not achieved your goals. Happiness is important, being a grump or angry all the time Is not too attractive. I believe we can ALL be happy if we know we are living the way we want to live or at least on the correct path to it.
“The intention that man should be happy is not in the plan of Creation.”
― Sigmund Freud
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

switch7

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#16
This is just the first there are 8 more lol. I'll get back to posting today family ****
I wanna hear the rest. Also I would like to hear more about how you got into web development, you definitely don't fit the coder sterotype lol
 
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#18
Thanks for this bro. It Is very interesting and good information to be a success and help people like me.
 
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