Back to square one, help me out?

[Jokerlsk]

So basically there's this girl i've never met, but she's best friends with a girl who goes to my church. I've called the girl i've never met before on a church trip once was basically an *******. Anyways, i completely forgot about this girl until two days ago when she added me as a friend on facebook. I facebook chatted her and asked her why she added me and we ended up having a nice conversation. I apologized, and she told me I was cute, which is always nice to hear. I told her that me and her should get to know eachother better and i got her number.

This girl goes to a christian school, and really is my kind of girl to be honest. I don't want to hook up with her, or fvck her, or any of that stuff. I just don't want to screw up anymore. I'm so sick of it. I want to date this girl. I don't want to be friendzoned, or used like an AFC. I'm always doing something wrong, and i want to rectify it. I want to be successful. The only problem is that a guy i work with was talking to her, and then ended up dropping her for another girl, which is a bad situation. What do i do? I wanna know from step one.

 

[Jokerlsk]

I'm from the south, and she's Baptist...... not catholic. You're wrong about why. I know this guy and he's the biggest Christian guy i've met, and he's honestly a better person than i am, and he's definitely not into, "Try before you buy." This girl is a really good girl and that's all I want. I'm not into all that **** you were talking about to be honest.

 

[Igetit!]

Do you seriously want some suggestions here Jokerisk? Because many of the things that I or some of the other members might suggest are things that you yourself have already rejected in the past.

There's nothing new here man. We're not going to tell you anything that you haven't already heard before.


I myself or some of the other guys can probably give you some info to help you out,but I might as well go ahead and tell you now that you might be uncomfortable doing some of it because it's things you've never done before.

So if you do want help,you already know I have a thousand questions to ask to make sure I understand the situation correctly.

 

[Jokerlsk]

Well ask away then.

 

[Igetit!]

Well ask away then.

Ok then,I will....but first I want to point something out in your thread that you mentioned.

I facebook chatted her and asked her why she added me and we ended up having a nice conversation. I apologized, and she told me I was cute, which is always nice to hear. I told her that me and her should get to know eachother better and i got her number.

Ok,you see the parts I put in bold,about her saying that you were cute and you getting her number? Well dude,it's clear....this girl is attracted to YOU. And when I say "attracted",I mean SEXUALLY attracted.



You turned her on. And I bet you'll never know what it was that got her interested. You think it was you being "cute"? I don't think so.



This is going to sound nuts,and I'M NOT TELLING YOU TO GO AND DO THIS....but from what I can tell,it looks like that the attraction started right after you called her a b1tch. Yeah,crazy huh?

My first question is this:when you and her had that "nice conversation",what did you two talk about? What exactly?

How long ago did you getting her number happen?
Have you called her and spoke to her since getting her number,and if so,what did you talk about?

Have you asked her out yet?



Do you know why I keep asking what it was you and her talked about? Because if you do the same thing over and over again,the same thing will keep happening over and over again.


I'm trying to see if the conversations you had with her are the same as the ones you've had in the past with all the girls you FAILED with.


Whatever it was you did and said with all those girls you messed up with in the past,if you're doing and saying those same things now with THIS GIRL,well......let's just say you might not want to do that.



So please answer that question accurately.

I don't want to hook up with her, or fvck her, or any of that stuff.

Yeah,you've mentioned this before. You're only 17,so you don't want to have to deal with sexual related issues such as STDs or pregnacy.

That's cool and all,but look....this girl is ATTRACTED to you. She is. You might not want to have sex with her right now,but if you get involved with,SHE WILL EXPECT you to try something sexual. You've got to do something. Hug her,kiss her,something.


If you don't,she'll either think something is wrong with you,that something is wrong with her,that you don't like and are not attractred to her,or something else.

So if she decides to date you,she will be expecting something out of you.

She just will man.

I just don't want to screw up anymore. I'm so sick of it.

Well to ME,the only way you can srew up is by NOT BEING SEXUAL with this girl. That's it.

In my opinion,if you show your sexual side to her and she rejects you,that's SUCCESS. That's you improving.


You showing your sexual side and being comfortable with it is a WIN whether the girl likes you or not.


You know why I say that? It's because that's something you've NEVER DONE.

You've always set your sexual nature off to the side and just tried to win girls over by being nice,funny,goofy,by being their "friend",their therapist,their shoulder to cry on,etc.


And how many times has that worked? In your last thread you said that all of your other friends have dated someone while in high school,ALL OF THEM EXCEPT YOU.


You're the only one who hasn't had a dating relationship.

You're nice,you're kind,you're funny,you're well-liked,you're a good person,you care for others,you're all this and you express it to girls whom you'd like to date,and all this is fine,but how many times has all those good qualities gotten you a girlfriend?

Zero. You know why? Because none of those things turn a woman on.

Dating IS SEXUAL. Being boyfriend and girlfriend IS sexual/romantic.

Being boyfriend and girlfriend IS SEXUAL,but you keep trying to get a girlfriend WITHOUT BEING SEXUAL,and that's why you repeatedly fail.

A woman wants to FEEL sexy,beautiful,desired,attractive.
She wants to FEEL wanted by a MAN.

You keep failing because you leave all that out. You leave out making a woman feel sexy,attracted,desirable,and wanted,and try to replace all that with being nice and friendly and being a "good" person.

And it doesn't work.


Let this girl know you're attracted to her. Tell her you like the way she looks in something. Give her a hug and while you're doing it,tell her to make sure to keep her hands on your back and not to "wonder" anywhere else.

TELL HER you want to see her. When you ask her out,TELL HER when you're available,and what days will be good for YOU.


For once,just be a MAN who's attracted to a woman.

 

[DonJuan11]

- I don't want to be friendzoned
- I don't want to fvck her
- What do i do?

What else is there? Do you want her to be your maid?

 

[Jokerlsk]

Basically, to answer number one, I just chatted her asking how she was and all. This all happened about four days ago, and she said, "You're really cute." I said something like, "Thanks, you're really pretty, but i'm sure you hear that all the time. I have a lot of work this week, but when you get back from the beach we need to get together." She leaves for the beach in a few days, and i work literally all week. I didn't talk to her yesterday, and i prolly won't today. The whole me calling her a ***** thing.... idk if that attracted her. She hated me for like 3 months and i never even knew her. Only after i told her sorry did she tell me i was cute. I think we were talking and she mentioned that she almost dated this guy i work with and then she asked me who all i've dated and i told her no one, and she told me that she would of thought I had because I'm really cute.

It's strange Igetit. Because girls i'd never want to date, want to date me. There's this one ***** who works at this restaurant and she always hooks me up with free food, and told my sister that she wanted to "get with me" and all of that, but no.... I just don't understand. She basically told me that I'm the perfect guy, but I don't want her.

 

[Igetit!]

Basically, to answer number one, I just chatted her asking how she was and all. This all happened about four days ago, and she said, "You're really cute." I said something like, "Thanks, you're really pretty, but i'm sure you hear that all the time.

Jokerisk....man....dude come oooon.

You told her she was pretty? Dude,you should KNOW BETTER than that.

No,I'm not saying it's over with and that you've blown it with her,but you need to STOP saying things like that to girls because you run risk of boosting their egos.

I know,you said it because she said you were cute,but you should have thrown some ****yfunny in there in response to her compliment.


You should have been like,"Well yeah,I usually get that from women."


Use the things taught here on the forum. You know that telling a girl she's beautiful or pretty it taught against here.

I think we were talking and she mentioned that she almost dated this guy i work with and then she asked me who all i've dated and i told her no one, and she told me that she would of thought I had because I'm really cute.

So she mentioned something about her almost dating some other guy,and then you two talked about who you've dated.

Well did the subject of YOU TWO DATING EACH OTHER ever come up?

That's what you want to be talking about.

Not her and other guys...
Not you and other girls ...


YOU and HER seeing EACH OTHER.



Oh,and one more thing....you should NOT have told her that you've dated NO ONE. Yeah,I know that that's the truth,but you need to understand how the female mind works. If you tell her that you've dated no one....ever,then she'll think that you CAN'T GET A GIRL,or that all other girls have rejected you for some reason. Then she'll be like,"Well if nobody else wants him,then why should I?".


I'm telling you,that's how a lot of girls think. A guy could be the biggest a-hole on the planet and girls can know this,but if they see him with a lot of women or hear about him dating girl after girl after girl,they'll be intrigued to know why some many girls like him. Then that intrigue with attract them to the guy.



The next time a girl asks you who you've dated,come up with something else to say.

It's strange Igetit. Because girls i'd never want to date, want to date me.

I'll tell you the same thing I told you A YEAR AND A HALF AGO in your "Am I cursed???" thread....

"Switch your behaviors. Treat the girls YOU LIKE the way you treat the ones you DON'T LIKE,and treat the ones you DON'T LIKE the way you treat the ones you like".



Don't let too much time pass by before you contact this girl again. And when you do call her,be flirty,be agressive,be SEXUAL.


And more important than ALL OF THAT...ASK HER OUT.

 

[nismo-4]

It's dangerous to go alone! Take this.

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

Read it all the way, including my sig!

Jokerisk....man....dude come oooon.

You told her she was pretty? Dude,you should KNOW BETTER than that.

No,I'm not saying it's over with and that you've blown it with her,but you need to STOP saying things like that to girls because you run risk of boosting their egos.

I know,you said it because she said you were cute,but you should have thrown some ****yfunny in there in response to her compliment.


You should have been like,"Well yeah,I usually get that from women."


Use the things taught here on the forum. You know that telling a girl she's beautiful or pretty it taught against here.



So she mentioned something about her almost dating some other guy,and then you two talked about who you've dated.

Well did the subject of YOU TWO DATING EACH OTHER ever come up?

That's what you want to be talking about.

Not her and other guys...
Not you and other girls ...


YOU and HER seeing EACH OTHER.



Oh,and one more thing....you should NOT have told her that you've dated NO ONE. Yeah,I know that that's the truth,but you need to understand how the female mind works. If you tell her that you've dated no one....ever,then she'll think that you CAN'T GET A GIRL,or that all other girls have rejected you for some reason. Then she'll be like,"Well if nobody else wants him,then why should I?".


I'm telling you,that's how a lot of girls think. A guy could be the biggest a-hole on the planet and girls can know this,but if they see him with a lot of women or hear about him dating girl after girl after girl,they'll be intrigued to know why some many girls like him. Then that intrigue with attract them to the guy.



The next time a girl asks you who you've dated,come up with something else to say.

I'll tell you the same thing I told you A YEAR AND A HALF AGO in your "Am I cursed???" thread....

"Switch your behaviors. Treat the girls YOU LIKE the way you treat the ones you DON'T LIKE,and treat the ones you DON'T LIKE the way you treat the ones you like".



Don't let too much time pass by before you contact this girl again. And when you do call her,be flirty,be agressive,be SEXUAL.


And more important than ALL OF THAT...ASK HER OUT.

 

[Jokerlsk]

Igetit, why should i lie? It's never been a big deal to me. I'm not ashamed of it even though it may frustrate me.

 

[Igetit!]

Igetit, why should i lie?

Uhh.....did I say to lie? Can you please point out to me where I told you to go and lie to this girl?

Put it in quotes so I can be sure to see it.

I simply said that you should not have told her that. The reason why is as I explained in my previous reply.

I'm against lying,but you need to come up with something else to say when faced with that question. I remember in 2008 around Halloween where you made a thread called "Halloween is going to rock!" about having a date with some girl.

Well use that girl as past dating experience. Use something man.

If you're 17,in high school,very "cute" as this girl says,but you tell her that you've NEVER DATED ANYONE.....EVER,as far as EMOTIONALLY SPEAKING,it'll seem bad in the girl's eyes.



You say that you not having dated anyone is something that you're not ashamed of,and I agree,you shouldn't be ashamed,but like I said before,we're not talking about YOU.


You don't have a lot of expierence dating,so let me fill you in on something you may not be aware of....when you date someone,you have to think about the OTHER PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW.


You need to consider things from the other person's perspective.


It's not about you being ashamed or not,it's about how the girl would view you NEVER HAVING DATED ANYONE.



What may not be a big deal to you,or may seem like nothing to you may be a big deal to a girl. Remember,we're not talking about being friends with a girl,we're talking about dating.



You need to get moving if you want to make anything happen with this girl. You asked for advice,so please don't slow things down by questioning every little thing suggested to you.

Just get the girl FIRST,then we can explain all the details of why or why not to do this or that later on.