"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Back burner heats up

Bonhomme

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Sometimes it pays not to give up on a gal who flakes... but in doing so, you might pry the lid off Pandora's box...

There's been this gal I've run into every now & then, with super chemistry every time I actually see her in person, but it's been damn near impossible to get together with her... but great when we did get together.

For some background, see http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=65106

and http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=58544

Anyhow, I've hooked up with her again, and have had a couple pretty hot overnight dates ... and the pieces of the puzzle have come together.

Turns out a lot of our theories were dead-on. She was still holding out for a fellow who she went out with on and off for several years. Evidently he's hooked up with someone else now, and I'm her current obsession.

But the usual rules do not apply. She wants me to act like an AFC, though we know going too far in that direction is likely to decrease her attraction subconsciously... so the attitude I have to keep is a "go for what I want with gusto" attitude. Confident pursuit, not desperate obsession.

Anyway, the last time we got together made me see why she's single despite being so cute and fun. She can do some real heavy binge drinking. Last time she got so wasted that it just turned me off ... slurring "letsh make lurrve, gettthh meee pregnanth ..." and all that... yow. But she was bloody apologetic in the morning when I told her how messed up she got and that "I like you like this."

So she may be able to behave well until she gets what she wants, but what might she turn into after she has the kid and the child support ticket? Danger, Will Robinson, Danger! Gotta think about this one. I'd have to make damn sure she wants me as much as the kid(s).

I do know this much: if I ever do marry the gal, I'll have to get one hell of a pre-nup, and will have to do some big-time legal research before considering unprotected sex with her.

So... my attitude is to enjoy her company and chill. She's gonna have to be patient, no matter how loud that biological clock is ticking...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Luscious

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God DAMN.

That's a weird one.

I usually sort through women by using a set of qualifiers, and although I certainly enjoy my sauce, the fact that she would get that filthy drunk is a pretty big red light.

Your attitude of enjoying her company and whatnot is pretty good, although in my position I'd just eject because I'm impatient with women who exhibit behaviour like that which indicates deeper-rooted issues.

I usually don't stick around on 'fixer-upper' women. Like houses, I would prefer to get one in pristine condition with no problems.

I would bail, for the reasons mentioned above. However, if you stick around to hit it a couple times, bring your OWN condoms - I wouldn't trust one like that to be very forthcoming with any sort of birth control, considering what you said about the biological clock. Bring your own rubbers and keep them in your sight at all times until you're poking her. I'm paranoid like that but you never know if she'd break out a needle and poke a few holes in it.

Hope this helped.
 

al77

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Originally posted by Bonhomme

She was still holding out for a fellow who she went out with on and off for several years. Evidently he's hooked up with someone else now, and I'm her current obsession.

Anyway, the last time we got together made me see why she's single despite being so cute and fun. She can do some real heavy binge drinking. Last time she got so wasted that it just turned me off ... slurring "letsh make lurrve, gettthh meee pregnanth ..." and all that... yow. But she was bloody apologetic in the morning when I told her how messed up she got and that "I like you like this."

So... my attitude is to enjoy her company and chill. She's gonna have to be patient, no matter how loud that biological clock is ticking...
Chemistry, cute, fun..all these could be very attractive. But you got a gal with 2+ major issues here...He has alcoholic tendencies, she is still holding out for a fellow and probably her clock is ticking too loud...
It is like a good bmw with several major problem: the engine is doesn not start, the transmission is not.. transmitteing.. but hey the exterior is very cool and the color is awesome. I am not sure you would like to deal with that kind of car.
 

Bonhomme

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Thanks for the responses

Yeah, the term "sperm donor" definitely comes to mind.

I'm not entirely giving up on the gal, because she does appear to think very highly of me. I was not asking for advice, so much as insight. But the other gals in the picture are definitely getting their due.

And yes, I do have my own condoms on hand. And have them right in my pocket, in the middle of a handkerchief, undetectable behind the little plastic bag of vitamin C caps I carry around. :D
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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