"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Back at college!!! Too many girls! How do I approach!

Reyaj

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SOme of you have probably seen my 100 approach journal. Well it hasn't gone as planned.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=77857


Well I am back in college now and I see so many girls walking all over the place. I even have like 1 or 2 in my classes.

I never did smack when I was in college b4 so I need some serious tips on how to pick up girls.

Any approaches, lines, etc... would be appreciated.

I will post everything to my cold approach thread.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Inc. ©

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You just gotta get out there and do it. There's no perfect line and it feels good to get shot down. Try the 'are you single' approach.
 

Smooth Player 056

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The only way to truly know what works for you is to field test a lot of different techniques and openers. Naturally once you do this you will find what works best for you. There is not one line that works for all of us, because there are too many variables that will deter results(ie. shes depressed, sick etc.)

By the way props on your thread, it was a great read.
 

GropeDope

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My problem in college is that I always have classes with at least 3 - 5 HB 7+ in them that don't talk to each other or anything.

I always feel like coming in and sitting right next to one of the HBs and hitting on them in the class, but then I start thinking that if I only start talking to this one, I'll screw my chances over with any of the others..like they'll assume "so that's the type of slut he likes" or something like that when they see me giving that one attention. I prefer to remain mysterious/shadowy. I realize this is dumb because who am I to assume what they are and are not going to think, but I still do this anyway...and it actually gets me nowhere because while I'm sitting there keeping to myself, I end up getting nowhere.

Another thing I think about is that if I show interest in class and then I'm rejected, I have to see the same b!tch every single class until the semester is over. That's like being forced to remember your failure every single class (at least how I see it right now). This happened to me once two semesters ago and it just irritated me every time I went back to the class and saw the ho.

So I just end up staying away from the HBs in class, and instead sit around dudes or ugly chicks and sometimes make brief bs talk with them.

Either way I don't like the classroom setting for approaches. The only thing I like about having HBs in my class is that it gives me something to look at from time to time, and if I see one of them outside of class...like at a mall or club, it makes approaching them in public a little easier.

I know my reasoning here is all screwed up, but that's just how I feel about these settings. These stupid assumptions I'm making about everything are really doing nothing for me, but I know others can understand where I'm coming from here.
 
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green69

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Originally posted by GropeDope
I always feel like coming in and sitting right next to one of the HBs and hitting on them in the class, but then I start thinking that if I only start talking to this one, I'll screw my chances over with any of the others..like they'll assume "so that's the type of slut he likes" or something like that when they see me giving that one attention.
yeeeeahhh right...you don't want to sit next to them because you're afraid. Don't kidd yourself with all that "worried about what the other one will think." that's just bs. If anything, when a girl sees you talking with another attractive girl, it raises your value and they might even get jealous.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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PeoplesChamp

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Yeah I'm right there with green69. Gropedope, just re-read your own post aloud and listen to how pathetic it sounds. You are going out of your way to make excuses not to meet hot women. Since you're in college I'll assume you're a relatively intelligent guy. This quality, as David DeAngelo correctly posits, hinders success with women. When it comes to approaching women you can't begin with outcome already etched into your consciousness. What you feel may or may not be the result of approaching a woman is not reality-based and actually says a lot more about what you think of yourself than what might happen. Remember the map is not the terrritory.
 

TubularBells28

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How about this mentality?

Instead of thinking, "Will she like me?" Think to yourself, "Will I like her?"
 

GropeDope

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Originally posted by green69
yeeeeahhh right...you don't want to sit next to them because you're afraid. Don't kidd yourself with all that "worried about what the other one will think." that's just bs. If anything, when a girl sees you talking with another attractive girl, it raises your value and they might even get jealous.
Originally posted by PeoplesChamp
Yeah I'm right there with green69. Gropedope, just re-read your own post aloud and listen to how pathetic it sounds. You are going out of your way to make excuses not to meet hot women. Since you're in college I'll assume you're a relatively intelligent guy. This quality, as David DeAngelo correctly posits, hinders success with women. When it comes to approaching women you can't begin with outcome already etched into your consciousness. What you feel may or may not be the result of approaching a woman is not reality-based and actually says a lot more about what you think of yourself than what might happen. Remember the map is not the terrritory.

Of course I realize that I'm afraid and I know they are just dumb excuses. Nevertheless, I still feel more comfortable with approaching a girl that I won't be "forced" to see again if she rejects me, than a girl that I have to see two or three times a week. I'm hoping to get over this but it's taking lots of work.
 

PeoplesChamp

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Yes and no. The key is don't overanalyze the situation. Cognitively reframe the situation. There is no such thing as "rejection." That's just a word. Instead, as Pook says, frame it as a showing of bad taste...
 

Centaurion

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Man, you are in COLLEGE!!!

This is the time of your life where access to poon is unparalleled if you play your cards right. Start by expanding your social circle - join a sport, club, whatever as long as it gets you off your ass forces you to interact with people. You don't need any canned lines, what you need is confidence.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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escobar04

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this might sound silly but take a womens study class

as I'm doing right now (a mistake while registring but I'm not regretting this)

I'm like 1 of three males in there and I feel super powerful simply 'cos when I speak everyone listens

its as if I'm a minority but its ok
 

thefonz

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I say stop worrying about being smooth......the fact that your out there trying puts you in a category that 80-90% (I dunno) of college guys won't attempt, it's not about being smooth.....just don't be ackward by focusing on how another guy like fingers, 007, or whoever would try to do that

By trying to be smooth you will most likely come off as a scumbag so just approach with sincerity, warmth, and friendliness (or however YOU would do it) and let the gods do their work.....
 

GropeDope

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It's hard for me bro. I was conditioned to being around the same people every single day and never talking to a single person I didn't know. Yup I was friends with a lot of snobby, stuck up kids. I was young and stupid and didn't care back then. I got myself too dependant on people early on in life and I wish someone had smacked the **** out of me back then and showed me how screwed I was going to be down the line but oh well. Here I am feeling the reprecussions years later at a commuter college (majority of students do not live on campus here). At least I'm making somewhat of an effort to change now, heh.
 

pimpfromdayone

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What? Your problem was being too dependent on others? Some people's problem is being too INDEPENDENT and in doing so, not social.
 

Reyaj

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Gropedope,

Your post basically said exactly everything I have been thinking. I had thought this way as an undergrad and now that i am in graduate school I find the same negative thoughts creeping in!

I tihnk what I am going to try and do is position myself close to the cute girls in my classes. Its giong to take a lot of balls on my part but I wll post my responses.

One thing I do know is that if you want to get girls, you have to be ballsy.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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PeoplesChamp

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GropeDope,

Well as fate would have it you and I are in a similar situation. I too go to a commuter college. I've also been battling with the same problems you are, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can tell you it all starts with inner game. It is definitely 70% how you feel about yourself or as Stephen Covey puts it private victories before public victories.

That being said it all circular as well. Confidence comes from approaching women and in order to approach women you need confidence. I'd say breaking into the loop, for me, came from sitting down and figuring out what it is going to take to be comfortable in my own skin and although I'm just at the beginning of my journey I can at least say I'm no longer paralyzed by that inner, negative vioce of self doubt.
 
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