Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Back after 10 years

samspade

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Long story but you can look it up from my posts of 2010.

To make a long story short, My ex girlfriend and I were together for 5 years and around the 3rd year we were talking about marriage and she and I agreed that our families should meet and do the whole 9 yards since we were leading towards marriage anyway. We were legit in love heavy duty but at the 5th year mark, the sh!t hit the fan bad. In the summer of 2010 I remember having a dream that my girlfriend was fvcking some guy, Im not making this up, I legitimately had a dream about this and I woke up with a horrible gut feeling in my stomach that I couldn't shake. I called her that morning but she never answered me which was extremely rare, Hours went by before I got an answer and I was about to call her parents to find out if everything was alright because I started panicking that something happened to her.

A few hours went by and she responded with a very short text message. No baby, No i love you just, "Hey Im getting on the train" I was thinking WTF!?? After a few days she comes over my house to get some clothes which was normal and I suggested we needed more condoms but she stopped me and said let's hold off on that. Later on i found out she was fvcking around with multiple Men and she just disappeared from my life like nothing. About 3 months after, I logged into facebook and there it was, A picture of her kissing another guy showing her engagement ring and I will probably never forget how I felt at that moment. There's a lot more to the story and I'm not going to hijack the thread but yes, I will never open up like that again. The girl before her did something similar on a much lower scale but still pre scarred me and the final nail in the love coffin was my ex.
Holy cow dude. God bless, that's rough.
 

AttackFormation

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Long story but you can look it up from my posts of 2010.

To make a long story short, My ex girlfriend and I were together for 5 years and around the 3rd year we were talking about marriage and she and I agreed that our families should meet and do the whole 9 yards since we were leading towards marriage anyway. We were legit in love heavy duty but at the 5th year mark, the sh!t hit the fan bad. In the summer of 2010 I remember having a dream that my girlfriend was fvcking some guy, Im not making this up, I legitimately had a dream about this and I woke up with a horrible gut feeling in my stomach that I couldn't shake. I called her that morning but she never answered me which was extremely rare, Hours went by before I got an answer and I was about to call her parents to find out if everything was alright because I started panicking that something happened to her.

A few hours went by and she responded with a very short text message. No baby, No i love you just, "Hey Im getting on the train" I was thinking WTF!?? After a few days she comes over my house to get some clothes which was normal and I suggested we needed more condoms but she stopped me and said let's hold off on that. Later on i found out she was fvcking around with multiple Men and she just disappeared from my life like nothing. About 3 months after, I logged into facebook and there it was, A picture of her kissing another guy showing her engagement ring and I will probably never forget how I felt at that moment. There's a lot more to the story and I'm not going to hijack the thread but yes, I will never open up like that again. The girl before her did something similar on a much lower scale but still pre scarred me and the final nail in the love coffin was my ex.
Man... I don't even have any words. I understand you can't go through this again. Gonna research your posts.
 

mrgoodstuff

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This is the first post I have written in almost 10 years, wow.

To recap my journey, joined the forum in 2007, dated a few girls in 07-08, met my wife in 2008, married in 2009 and had a child in 2012.

Fast forward to 2018, now I am contemplating divorce, the marriage has been over for a few years now, no connection, no feelings, no sex, no nothing, so I am calling it quits despite my daughter. I know separation is going to wreck her, but what is the alternative, 10-12 more years of abject misery?

I will not go into too much details, but these are the lessons I learned:

1) I ignored the red-flags. They were there in front of me all the time.
2) Never have a child if you are already having second thoughts
3) Never buy a house if ditto
4) AFC is the default mode of my brain SW, It takes a big big effort to change that.

Pretty obvious stuff, but marriage gets you into blue-pill mode and it is very difficult to unplug. Two years ago I thought I would stay for the sake of my child, but now I see no way forward except misery and the feeling of wasting my time. I've had sex twice with my wife in two years and, in desperation, once with a hooker. OK, my fault, but what was the alternative? Last time we had sex my wife accused me of using her. AS if she hadn't used ME to have a confortable lifestyle while she sat on her lazy ass out of work. Now she got her "dream job", time to get the fvcking ***** out of my life. I want to keep it civil, though, for the sake of my child. She's the best thing I've made in my life (with the wrong person, granted).

For the last 3 months I've been trying to unplug and swallow (again) the red-pill. I've been watching youtube stuff by Richard Cooper, Rollo, etc. Rollo was kind of a mythical guy in the forum 10 years ago, now he's got his own youtube channel in the flesh, wow.

To complicate things even further, while I'm still waiting for my wife to move out, I met this uber-hot single mummy blonde at work... and here we go again, a bad case of one-itis, 24/7 obsessed with her... back to becoming an AFC.. fvck, I wish I could go MGTOW in a remote island... but I have a fcking mortgage to pay and a child to raise.

Plan of action:

1) keep my child as my #1 priority
2) speed up the split from the exwife
3) hit the gym, become a better version of myself
4) forget the single mummy, she's out of my league anyway, difficult, I get to see her almost daily
5) date again (and this time be extra careful for red flags)
TO be honest, I am looking for a LTR because I want to give a sibling to my child (despite of the fact that a baby is A LOT of work, at 45 I am bit old for that, but I take it as a personal sacrifice for my daughter).

However, I intend to have as much no-strings-attached sex as I can (with pros or amateurs, does not matter).

Keep you posted, bros.

AlphaSoldier
Feelings can return. But if she cheated and doesnt care to improve then your stuck. PM me. I have strategies that can help things in such a situation.
 

AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
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Long story but you can look it up from my posts of 2010.

To make a long story short, My ex girlfriend and I were together for 5 years and around the 3rd year we were talking about marriage and she and I agreed that our families should meet and do the whole 9 yards since we were leading towards marriage anyway. We were legit in love heavy duty but at the 5th year mark, the sh!t hit the fan bad. In the summer of 2010 I remember having a dream that my girlfriend was fvcking some guy, Im not making this up, I legitimately had a dream about this and I woke up with a horrible gut feeling in my stomach that I couldn't shake. I called her that morning but she never answered me which was extremely rare, Hours went by before I got an answer and I was about to call her parents to find out if everything was alright because I started panicking that something happened to her.

A few hours went by and she responded with a very short text message. No baby, No i love you just, "Hey Im getting on the train" I was thinking WTF!?? After a few days she comes over my house to get some clothes which was normal and I suggested we needed more condoms but she stopped me and said let's hold off on that. Later on i found out she was fvcking around with multiple Men and she just disappeared from my life like nothing. About 3 months after, I logged into facebook and there it was, A picture of her kissing another guy showing her engagement ring and I will probably never forget how I felt at that moment. There's a lot more to the story and I'm not going to hijack the thread but yes, I will never open up like that again. The girl before her did something similar on a much lower scale but still pre scarred me and the final nail in the love coffin was my ex.
I went back and read the threads about your ex 2010-2011

That woman came to be or always was under a commitment to Hell... animated by a perverse lust for debauchery to destroy and defile the good in her life and those around her.

I've not experienced something like that... but I think the dampener she afflicted your soul with needs to go. You cannot let her take away your ability to trust, even if you never use it again and remain single for life. I would make it a mission to find at least one long committed couple which is happy and functional, just for your own healing's sake to make yourself whole.

What she did and told you was truly perverse to read. But I hope you can heal, and are healing.
 
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In2theGame

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I went back and read the threads about your ex 2010-2011

That woman came to be or always was under a commitment to Hell... animated by a perverse lust for debauchery to destroy and defile the good in her life and those around her.

I've not experienced something like that... but I think the dampener she afflicted your soul with needs to go. You cannot let her take away your ability to trust, even if you never use it again and remain single for life. I would make it a mission to find at least one long committed couple which is happy and functional, just for your own healing's sake to make yourself whole.

What she did and told you was truly perverse to read. But I hope you can heal, and are healing.
Thanks I appreciate that. I believe I have healed and I'm much smarter after that experience but to risk going through that torture again, I rather not. I recall the dramatic sadness that followed me day and night at every hour and I just cant allow myself to go through that again, I almost went insane at one point (Not literally) but I did feel close to a sickening depression that actually caused some concern for my mental health.
 
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