AlphaSoldier
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2007
- Messages
- 69
- Reaction score
- 32
This is the first post I have written in almost 10 years, wow.
To recap my journey, joined the forum in 2007, dated a few girls in 07-08, met my wife in 2008, married in 2009 and had a child in 2012.
Fast forward to 2018, now I am contemplating divorce, the marriage has been over for a few years now, no connection, no feelings, no sex, no nothing, so I am calling it quits despite my daughter. I know separation is going to wreck her, but what is the alternative, 10-12 more years of abject misery?
I will not go into too much details, but these are the lessons I learned:
1) I ignored the red-flags. They were there in front of me all the time.
2) Never have a child if you are already having second thoughts
3) Never buy a house if ditto
4) AFC is the default mode of my brain SW, It takes a big big effort to change that.
Pretty obvious stuff, but marriage gets you into blue-pill mode and it is very difficult to unplug. Two years ago I thought I would stay for the sake of my child, but now I see no way forward except misery and the feeling of wasting my time. I've had sex twice with my wife in two years and, in desperation, once with a hooker. OK, my fault, but what was the alternative? Last time we had sex my wife accused me of using her. AS if she hadn't used ME to have a confortable lifestyle while she sat on her lazy ass out of work. Now she got her "dream job", time to get the fvcking ***** out of my life. I want to keep it civil, though, for the sake of my child. She's the best thing I've made in my life (with the wrong person, granted).
For the last 3 months I've been trying to unplug and swallow (again) the red-pill. I've been watching youtube stuff by Richard Cooper, Rollo, etc. Rollo was kind of a mythical guy in the forum 10 years ago, now he's got his own youtube channel in the flesh, wow.
To complicate things even further, while I'm still waiting for my wife to move out, I met this uber-hot single mummy blonde at work... and here we go again, a bad case of one-itis, 24/7 obsessed with her... back to becoming an AFC.. fvck, I wish I could go MGTOW in a remote island... but I have a fcking mortgage to pay and a child to raise.
Plan of action:
1) keep my child as my #1 priority
2) speed up the split from the exwife
3) hit the gym, become a better version of myself
4) forget the single mummy, she's out of my league anyway, difficult, I get to see her almost daily
5) date again (and this time be extra careful for red flags)
TO be honest, I am looking for a LTR because I want to give a sibling to my child (despite of the fact that a baby is A LOT of work, at 45 I am bit old for that, but I take it as a personal sacrifice for my daughter).
However, I intend to have as much no-strings-attached sex as I can (with pros or amateurs, does not matter).
Keep you posted, bros.
AlphaSoldier
To recap my journey, joined the forum in 2007, dated a few girls in 07-08, met my wife in 2008, married in 2009 and had a child in 2012.
Fast forward to 2018, now I am contemplating divorce, the marriage has been over for a few years now, no connection, no feelings, no sex, no nothing, so I am calling it quits despite my daughter. I know separation is going to wreck her, but what is the alternative, 10-12 more years of abject misery?
I will not go into too much details, but these are the lessons I learned:
1) I ignored the red-flags. They were there in front of me all the time.
2) Never have a child if you are already having second thoughts
3) Never buy a house if ditto
4) AFC is the default mode of my brain SW, It takes a big big effort to change that.
Pretty obvious stuff, but marriage gets you into blue-pill mode and it is very difficult to unplug. Two years ago I thought I would stay for the sake of my child, but now I see no way forward except misery and the feeling of wasting my time. I've had sex twice with my wife in two years and, in desperation, once with a hooker. OK, my fault, but what was the alternative? Last time we had sex my wife accused me of using her. AS if she hadn't used ME to have a confortable lifestyle while she sat on her lazy ass out of work. Now she got her "dream job", time to get the fvcking ***** out of my life. I want to keep it civil, though, for the sake of my child. She's the best thing I've made in my life (with the wrong person, granted).
For the last 3 months I've been trying to unplug and swallow (again) the red-pill. I've been watching youtube stuff by Richard Cooper, Rollo, etc. Rollo was kind of a mythical guy in the forum 10 years ago, now he's got his own youtube channel in the flesh, wow.
To complicate things even further, while I'm still waiting for my wife to move out, I met this uber-hot single mummy blonde at work... and here we go again, a bad case of one-itis, 24/7 obsessed with her... back to becoming an AFC.. fvck, I wish I could go MGTOW in a remote island... but I have a fcking mortgage to pay and a child to raise.
Plan of action:
1) keep my child as my #1 priority
2) speed up the split from the exwife
3) hit the gym, become a better version of myself
4) forget the single mummy, she's out of my league anyway, difficult, I get to see her almost daily
5) date again (and this time be extra careful for red flags)
TO be honest, I am looking for a LTR because I want to give a sibling to my child (despite of the fact that a baby is A LOT of work, at 45 I am bit old for that, but I take it as a personal sacrifice for my daughter).
However, I intend to have as much no-strings-attached sex as I can (with pros or amateurs, does not matter).
Keep you posted, bros.
AlphaSoldier
