I have an ex who i have a 2 year old with. She says that if she wants to go out and she gets a babysitter, it is none of my business to question who it is. She says as long as she gets a babysitter that it should not matter cuz it is none of my business. I say no matter what, if we live together or not, if she is going out, i want to know who my kid is being left with. Any agree or disagree??
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Babysitting my boy....
- Thread starter Pakwah
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Skilla_Staz
Master Don Juan
Agree.
You're the father. Your child is (I'm assuming) just as precious to you as he is to her. If I had a child, I would damn well want to know what's going on in his life. I would want to MEET who is going to be in control of my son's safety.
You're the father. Your child is (I'm assuming) just as precious to you as he is to her. If I had a child, I would damn well want to know what's going on in his life. I would want to MEET who is going to be in control of my son's safety.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
its called the right of first refusal.
no matter what she is getting the sitter for, be it work or "going out", if she can not be with the child and needs someone else to watch him, in some states she is required to call you first to see if you would like your child during that time. if you are not able to take your child, then she can call a babysitter or daycare or her momma.
however, i am guessing you two do not have a written custody and visitation order yet.
i suggest that if you can not go and have one made up yet, then you should sit down with her and have a talk. tell her that it is silly to pay a babysitter when all she has to do is call you to come get your child. you would like to spend more time with your child anyhow.that time is precious. tell her you dont give a crap where shes going or who with, you would rather have your child during that time than know there is a babysitter sitting there.
then tell her if she cant work with you on this matter and continues to act selfish when it comes to your child, tell her you will have no other choice but to get an attorney and take her to court where a judge is going to let you have the right of first refusal.
no matter what she is getting the sitter for, be it work or "going out", if she can not be with the child and needs someone else to watch him, in some states she is required to call you first to see if you would like your child during that time. if you are not able to take your child, then she can call a babysitter or daycare or her momma.
however, i am guessing you two do not have a written custody and visitation order yet.
i suggest that if you can not go and have one made up yet, then you should sit down with her and have a talk. tell her that it is silly to pay a babysitter when all she has to do is call you to come get your child. you would like to spend more time with your child anyhow.that time is precious. tell her you dont give a crap where shes going or who with, you would rather have your child during that time than know there is a babysitter sitting there.
then tell her if she cant work with you on this matter and continues to act selfish when it comes to your child, tell her you will have no other choice but to get an attorney and take her to court where a judge is going to let you have the right of first refusal.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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You have to remember that your ex now has a life that doesn't involve you. Like Penkitten has mentioned, you can offer to be the first choice of being the babysitter since you don't cost money (and you're the father).
However, if you're not available, she's going to get a person that SHE TRUSTS to look after the child. You have to remember that this isn't just your child, it's the child that both of you created and she will naturally feel the responsibility to care for his safety. If you didn't trust this woman to be a good mother to your child, nor to make good decisions for the child, why did you have one with her?
However, if you're not available, she's going to get a person that SHE TRUSTS to look after the child. You have to remember that this isn't just your child, it's the child that both of you created and she will naturally feel the responsibility to care for his safety. If you didn't trust this woman to be a good mother to your child, nor to make good decisions for the child, why did you have one with her?
spider_007
Master Don Juan
talk to your lawyer
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I just worry about someone that i don't personally know watching my kid. More so in this day and age, who knows who you can trust? Trust me, my son and i are joined at the hip, so i watch him and have him whenever i can. And maybe she doesn't HAVE to tell me who's watching him, but i think the courtesy should be there that she should.
Buck Rogers
Don Juan
thats slightly different to his ex giving his kid to a stranger to look after one to one.Desdinova said:
and pakwa, why dont u try and talk to your ex rationally. or is that out of the question?
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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How so?
My mother's dad got himself a job as a janitor in an elementary school just so he could molest children. And he did.
The way to give a child safety isn't by putting him inside a locked cage. It's educating yourself and your child about what kind of sh1t goes on out in the real world. Unfortunately, society is leaning toward locking the children in a cage. Many elementary schools have eliminated things like playing tag, dodgeball, and running because a child might trip, fall, and hurt himself.
http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/story?id=2606557&page=1
Now, back to the original post. Why would a parent knowingly leave their child with a untrustworthy person? Unless Pakwah's ex-gf is an alcoholic crack wh0re, she likely wants her child to be safe just like Pakwah does, so she'll get a babysitter she trusts. But if she IS an alcoholic crack wh0re, he should be going for full custody.
Quiksilver
Master Don Juan
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to the original poster: totally agree. you must understand that by doing what she is doing(not communicating important info), she is putting her own interests ahead of the childs. It sounds like she's bitter--about you two--and is using this as a way of trying to exercise control over you. Tell her that it isn't about her, it's about the child, and he deserves to have a father watch out for his wellbeing.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Buck Rogers
Don Juan
A. his child isnt at skool, and generally schools cant be compared to a stranger he's never met who's bin instructed to take care of his kid by his half wit ex.Desdinova said:
B.A parent might leave their kids with an untrustworthy person, becuses they too are untrustworthy and dont realise, pakwha doestn know his ex's friends, they could be junkies or something.
And with that in mind pakwah's beef is why wasnt he given first refusual on babysitting duties, rather than somebody who him and his kid dont know.