B!tch took a sh!t while riding me!

[Joey Too Nice]

This has to be the most nauseating weird no contact story of my life!

I met this HOT I mean smokin hot HB9 through a mutual acquaintance. We hit it off pretty well and eventually wound up hanging out at my place. Tons of kino, sexual innuendo and to make a long story short ended up doing more the "nasty" in more ways than one. (Or at least she did.)

She was riding me on my bed moaning and seeming to enjoy herself when she told me she was going to cvm. I started pounding even harder and this is where things took a turn for the WORSE!


The next "Event" took place in a matter of like seconds. But in my reality was like an ETERNITY!

I heard her let out the loudest fart or so I thought till I felt warm liquid on my balls and upper legs and thought for a sec she squirted. Her face turned bright red and I thought it was from her cvmming but she immediately jumped up and said "Oh my God I'm so sorry!" I looked down and there was diharrea sh!t on my balls and legs!! I jumped up and just looked at her, while she said she felt sick and ran to my bathroom!

The b!tch **** on me! I had to throw out my $200 1000 thread count sheets, wait till she cleaned up and showered, showered myself and by the time I got out she was gone!

I haven't replied to her since. I feel bad that she must've been sick from food or something but don't know if I'm being a jerk by going No Contact on her.

WTF?!?!

 

[Iceberg]

Can't believe people actually have time in their lives to type this crap up.

 

[theunflushables]

God, i probably would have thrown up all over the place.

I could understand if you didnt want to see her again, but at call to see if she was not dying from food poisoning or something wouldnt have hurt.

 

[Joey Too Nice]

You're right. I'll probably give her a call and let her know I'm sorry for not seeing if she was okay. I did let her use my bathroom though, it was just when I got out after she had taken off..

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Uhhh...wow.

What if the tables were turned? What if you shat diarreha all over her? Instant gamekiller, she'd have a heyday with everybody in her phone and never talk to you again.

Hit the NEXT button and at least you'll always have a story at the bar.

 

[terran2k]

that was an easy sh*t test to spot.

 

[Jules Verne]

I had to throw out my $200 1000 thread count sheets

This cracked me up.

Also well done ^. And a difficult one to avoid indeed.

 

[Bladerunner]

On the other hand, if this wasn't a ONS, you could probably get her to do just about anything in bed that you wanted to because she feels so damn bad about what happened.

 

[TheGunslinger]

that was an easy sh*t test to spot.

I guess someone had to say it.

 

[Joey Too Nice]

I'll post an update after I get in touch with the little skank. Too bad she was soo damn gorgeous too. Guess I'll leave out the "****y" and funny replies! But what the hell would you do in my scenario? I should tell her those sheets or her "shEEt" cost 200 dollars!

 

[Obameros]

I could understand if you don't want to keep in contact with her. She probably does too.

Also, who spends $200 on SHEETS?

 

[tinctrar]

I could understand if you don't want to keep in contact with her. She probably does too.

Also, who spends $200 on SHEETS?

I have 1000 count sheets well....but didnt pay $200. It can be a positive if ya wanna impress a chick...(bit of luxury and man those sheets are soft. totally worth it)

But this sucks. OP - Im sorry for ya. If it makes ya feel any better you can get sheets like that online for far less.

I guess a text asking if she is ok is sufficient...if it were a genuine mistake then Id hang out with her again.

 

[OMGWTFLMAO]

Did you even try to wash the sheets? If I paid $200 for sheets I'd at least try to salvage them.

 

[Dannyrt34]

if it were a genuine mistake then Id hang out with her again.

I think you guys should watch 2 girls 1 cup together.

 

[tinctrar]

I think you guys should watch 2 girls 1 cup together.

Sh!t happens...right?

 

[Falcon25]

It happens. Call her up and see if she's okay. Now you know what happens. Humans leak, they fart, stink. I had a girl have her period on me. Can you imagine how she feels? I remember, one time I was at this chick's house and wanted to take a dump so bad that there was sweat all over me. I took a dump but it got stuck and the tp had made the stall overfloated. I spent 40 minutes crying and cleaning up my own ****, I was 22. I was embarrassed but she was understanding. The point of the story; Don't **** where you eat.

 

[Joey Too Nice]

It happens. Call her up and see if she's okay. Now you know what happens. Humans leak, they fart, stink. I had a girl have her period on me. Can you imagine how she feels? I remember, one time I was at this chick's house and wanted to take a dump so bad that there was sweat all over me. I took a dump but it got stuck and the tp had made the stall overfloated. I spent 40 minutes crying and cleaning up my own ****, I was 22. I was embarrassed but she was understanding. The point of the story; Don't **** where you eat.

I always carry matches to a girls house or apt just in case I have to drop a duece. Light one up and blow it out. It kills the smell pretty good.

I'm going to call her tomorrow and tell her to drop a$$ first BEFORE wild sex!

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

"Don't worry babe, it's nothing to be anal about."

 

[thefonz]

I kinda think you're bull****ting.

How do you mistake **** for squirting? The very first think you notice when someone ****s is the intense overwhelming smell. It's unmistakable and you'd know right away without visually having to see it.

That and you really skimmed over the seduction part...

 

[Joey Too Nice]

Dude I didn't feel the need to go into a long drawn out email over the meet, greet, seduction etc.

I never had a girl squirt but I felt a warm sensation and with the fart noise I was like "WTF?!" and got up right away!

And to the other poster I was just so disgusted and pissed I just tossed the bed sheets out.