"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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b 1tches problems

knubbe23

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hey im new here, whats up?

anyway, i have 2 b1tches in my class i have to deal with everyday. we used to be friends.. but something happened that is not my fault.. and now they're acting like little immature girls and talking sH*t about me behind my back and even when im just a couple of feet away..

i want to do something that will send the message that i dont really care what they do... or that it doesnt affect me in anyway.. which it really dont..

do i stoop down to their level and talk back at them the way they talk to me (very rude)? or do i ignore them completely and it will eventually stop? should i confront them and tell them that they're just pretty much wasting their time b/c its not affecting me in anyway what so ever...

thanks~!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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gmillar

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Obviously it's affecting you a lot, since you're posting here about it. Just ignore them, stop getting so worried. I think it's ironic that you say it doesn't affect you, yet you come online and join a forum just to ask what to do about it.
 

knubbe23

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true

i guess what i was trying to say is that when they talk crap for example, about appearance or something about my personality.. it doesnt affect me in a sense that it will lower my self esteem.. im a pretty confident guy and i do just fine with girls...

but i do get very annoyed when im sittin there trying to do work, and i have 2 s1uts talking behind me and know that they're probably talking about me..
 

knubbe23

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hahaha thanks!
but theres gonna be a more DJ-like approach to this
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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gmillar

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Well, a true DJ would probably just ignore them. That's not much fun though.
 

Plec07

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gmillar said:
Well, a true DJ would probably just ignore them. That's not much fun though.
Agreed. It's always more fun to just use your wits and insult them in the most original ways possible. This could even get them interested in you, which could lead to yet more fun if you run your game right lol.
 

Tidus

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Okay, here's what I do in such situations.
During the class, when everything is quiet, the teacher is talking and those two girls are talking Sh*t, Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on you, Say "Sir/Miss, ______ and ______ are being B*tches." that should shut them up. If they say anything to you say "I'm Sorry, i can't understand you, maybe if you take that D*ck out of your mouth I'll be able to hear you a little better," then turn around and try not to laugh lol
 

knubbe23

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Tidus said:
Okay, here's what I do in such situations.
During the class, when everything is quiet, the teacher is talking and those two girls are talking Sh*t, Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on you, Say "Sir/Miss, ______ and ______ are being B*tches." that should shut them up. If they say anything to you say "I'm Sorry, i can't understand you, maybe if you take that D*ck out of your mouth I'll be able to hear you a little better," then turn around and try not to laugh lol
hahah thanks
 

naes420

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tell them your tired of there ****, and say you swear to god you will flip over the desk if they dont shut the **** up, if they dont shut up, which they proably will, just throw some **** around the room if u get in trouble who cares at least you prved you dont take **** from anyone
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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