Awww I'm such a wussy with no balls

[wakeforce]

Hear my pathetic story and help if you can, it really pissed me off...

I Have no problem talking to women I know, or at least have said a little hello to before (example, at school). The big problem I have is talking to complete strangers... I know, logic should make it the other way around, because I'll never ever see that stranger again if she puts me down, but oh well, such is life.

Here comes my story. I was in the metro, coming back from school this evening, and there was a beautiful girl that entered at the same time as me. (Maybe not a 10, but definitely a 9). There was way too much people around(peak hour), so I tought I'd wait a bit and see if I can gather the balls to talk to her when there is less people.

So some people get out, and I have direct sight to her, she gives quick looks, as if shy, which tells me she would probably welcome an approach by me... Well, I wussied out and tought I'd wait to male a "scenario" of what could hapopen in my head. I had the opening line all ready, but couldn't get to the point of saying it, so I made a bet to myself; if she disembarks at your station as you, follow and ask when she is at the bus stop (error, I know...)

So She DID get out the same station as me, I followed up to a point where she made a sharp turn to another exit and I dumbly followed the crowd going in the other direction. I was totally upset about it, but didn't want to go back my steps as she'd know for sure about it, so I simply continued walking...

I think the problem I have is that I think too much. I should probably try the "3 seconds rule", but I'm affraid I'm going to screw up that way...

Got any pointers for me? Where I should start? I started frequenting bars and the like a little, if that can help, but I think I would need someone to kick me in the ass to do something... By myself, I choke.

 

[wakeforce]

BTW, I think I'm pretty good looking, and I'm a pretty confident person with people I know, and pretty confident with strangers too (I'm a seller). It's only to nice and beautiful feminine strangers that I get stuck.

 

[PRMoon]

Don't worry about it.

This story is not in anyway sad or pathetic in my mind. I've been in your position before and done, well not the exact same thing, but so similar that they might as well of been the same. Not just once but several times over my lifetime.

So you blew one opportunity to make an attempt on a HB, even though you had a plan in mind that may or may not of worked. You shouldn't loose any sleep over this one at all. I think it's important to work situations over in your head even if you don't act on the situation in the least.

Being a DJ has a HUGE mental element to it and believe me the more you work over situations in your mind, the more good working strategies you can put into practice later on. There have been tons of time where I've rode a bus, or been in a post office, or mall or whatever large croweded area and seen a smoking girl and thought about exactly what I would do to execute a sucessful pick up. I also think about things, that might go wrong if I don't approach in the right way. All of which is hypathetical and based on what emotions I'm reading from the girl (facial expressions, body postion, surrounding enviriomet, etc etc).

Sometimes I'll make a move, sometimes they make moves on me, sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't. Either way the instances we're talking about are not the bulk of my opportunites to pick up women but rather just parts of my regular day. To be honest some of my days are so busy that when I'm out and about, I'm usually doing or getting to something important so even if the girl threw herself at me completely and her clothes started flying off I'd probably still have to blow her off in order to keep on whatever schedule I'm on.

You're getting yourself in the right mindset so I wouldn't be too hard on myself. Plus you're young still (I'm young too just got a few years on you ) and you're going to get tons of oppurtuinities to pick up chicks in random croweded areas so what's one opportunity missed?
Hope this helped clear things up a bit.

 

[wakeforce]

Yeah, I guess that's good advice. I'm reading the DJ bible now, and I remember I read a part of it something like 2 years ago, and founf that everything applied to me, and now it is not the case, I can only get a few pointers here and there, abnd most of the stuff (shy, nice guy, etc.) don't apply to me no more.

I just need to grow balls I guess!

 

[damnbugs]

Think of it this way- it was a good experience if you learned from it.

The next time a similar situation comes alone you can say to yourself- I am not going to make the same mistake I did last time! And then just go for it! Better to play and loose than not play at all.

 

[PRMoon]

haha i'm not sure if you understood all of what i wrote so I'll praprase.

I'm not at all shy and I'm only a nice guy when it benefits me. I'm sure you're at least somewhat in the same mind set as me. But for one reason or another you passed on an opportunity. It's not an isolated incident, you'll do it a lot over the years. But just because you pass on one does not make you lacking in the confidence department. You don't have to hit on EVERY girl you meet. Even if the opportunity seems good to you and you worked out a plan. It's just the way things are.