Awkward Relationship Position

[Sofomore]

So I'm a sophomore in college and have been sleeping with my neighbor since early October. Since the start we hit it off well and we gradually became f-buddies seeing eachother once or twice a week. I had multiple plates spinning and she could tell; she had/has HIGH IL. EACH time we met we ended up having sex. I can tell this girl loves it every time.

Now fastforward to present...January 21. I am not spinning plates any more and seeing this girl almost every day. She is on birth control and we have sex without condoms (started around January 1).

We technically are "single" but hang out constantly. I am lost at what to do. In a way we are already together, but at the same time we are single. Any advice from some older guys? I have heard that having a relationship in college is not a good idea so I have been straying away from it. Can someone shed some light on me?

 

[Sofomore]

There is a lot more to the situation but most people don't want to hear about EVERYTHING we have done together. One important factor is that over winter break she spent a night at my place. Also, from the get-go she has essentially complied with everything I ask her to do...thus showing I am the one that leads our interactions.

 

[WhitePimp]

I guess what you're asking is if it's okay to ask the girl to cement her position, basically get her to admit that you two are in a relationship. In my experience, this immediately kills IL in a girl and you will come out looking needy. I say just keep doing what you're doing and let her be the one to "call it" a relationship. If all is good with her, then you're doing something right. If you want to bang other chicks, then you're not cheating at least...:yes:

 

[Sofomore]

You're right, I should let her bring it up. From my experience hanging out with her I am starting to realize she is not relationship material.

Now for the hard part: meeting other girls without starting a jealousy game.

 

[Allurre]

I've been in your situation before. Yes, she will inevitably get jealous if she finds out you're seeing or even conversing with other women. The best decision right now is to just go with the flow.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

I guess what you're asking is if it's okay to ask the girl to cement her position, basically get her to admit that you two are in a relationship. In my experience, this immediately kills IL in a girl and you will come out looking needy. I say just keep doing what you're doing and let her be the one to "call it" a relationship. If all is good with her, then you're doing something right. If you want to bang other chicks, then you're not cheating at least...:yes:

All of this is GOLD. Take it very seriously Sofomore

I have heard that having a relationship in college is not a good idea so I have been straying away from it.

That's self-doubt and second guessing things. It's a bullshait thought. It's insecurity rearing it's head and latching onto negative ways to look at it. See those thoughts for what they are and ignore them. Your mind will stop doing it if you keep biatchslapping it when that happens. You're doing pretty damned good BUT I would very very very strongly suggest you stop hanging out constantly. Keep it fresh and keep her anticipating when she'll see you instead of planning or expecting it. She'll like you a lot more for that.

You're right, I should let her bring it up. From my experience hanging out with her I am starting to realize she is not relationship material.

Yes, you MUST do that. And, more importantly, you need to rehearse how you're going to deal with that. Forward thinking of that nature is priceless so you don't pop out with "whatever" and screw it up and/or give her the wrong impression.

For example, ignore her dancing around the subject. Like, if she starts talking about relationships in general, she's thinking about a relationship with YOU. Be cool and don't get involved in the conversation. A woman can't get confused about your intentions in any significant manner in this situation unless she's got a half of a sentence that out of context means something else. Women interpret EVERYTHING you say (even just using parts of sentences and ignoring the rest!) so saying less lets your actions speak for themselves.

Wait for:

At some point, she's going blatantly bring it up. You need to figure out EXACTLY how you're going to respond to get what you want to happen at that point. All I'll say about that is don't get excited and act like you won the lottery OR act like you're turned off...stay cool and calmly react like you planned to.