"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Awkward date situation

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WhitePimp

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So I was out with this chick for the first time tonight and we started off eating somewhere because I wanted to feel her out first. We were both meeting about halfway between our houses and had a good time at the restaraunt. Afterwards I suggested some things such as mini golfing, bowling, streaking, etc to do and she didn't want to do any of those. So we're in a foreign place and I have no idea what the next move is...I wasnt really sure of anything around there and din't feel like driving around looking. She had no ideas either...I asked if she wanted to go to a secluded aisle in Home Depot and teach me how to country line dance since she likes doing that but she pussed out. After an awkward few moments trying to decide what to do, she got a phone call from her mom telling her she had to come home so it's 9:45 on Saturday night and I'm on Sosuave figuring out how to avoid this situation again.


Now, I'm not new to this whole dating thing, but what do you do if you're in a place where you're not sure of what's around you thats fun to do and the girl shoots down everything you suggest? I'm a fun dude and I really don't want to be with a boring chick, but she's got a slamming chest and I really'd like to bang her.:D I'm also not 100% sure that phone call from her mom was legit...it most likely was because she takes care of her mom(she's 26, I'm 20) but whateverthe**** about that.


Any thoughts?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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S

svarog

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simple, as soon as she shoots an offer down, take her home
 
M

Macgyver

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The thing is the both of you just aren't compatible with each other. The fact that she's 26 and she's going out with a 20 year old... Well here's some news, she's not that into you and only for one thing: companionship/sex but not relationship. You should focus on that if you want to get something out of this.
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

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You never mentioned whether or not she was interested in you.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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WhitePimp

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She was definitely into me, but the awkwardity afterwards probably killed some IL from her. We were in a place where neither of us knew where anything was, so after her shooting down my ideas and her not suggesting anything, we were clueless and parted ways.

I'm not one to be egotistical about my abilities, but I honestly think she's just a nonenthusiastic chick who isn't up for much more than sitting around, which isn't really my thing and she wasn't up for coming to my area, and vice versa. It was just weird not knowing what was around me and her killing every idea I had...I guess the main rule is, know what your surroundings are for quick thinking.
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

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WhitePimp said:
She was definitely into me, but the awkwardity afterwards probably killed some IL from her. We were in a place where neither of us knew where anything was, so after her shooting down my ideas and her not suggesting anything, we were clueless and parted ways.
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Ok, I'm missing it. What exactly did she do to make you feel that she was into you?

WhitePimp said:
I'm not one to be egotistical about my abilities, but I honestly think she's just a nonenthusiastic chick who isn't up for much more than sitting around, which isn't really my thing and she wasn't up for coming to my area, and vice versa. It was just weird not knowing what was around me and her killing every idea I had...I guess the main rule is, know what your surroundings are for quick thinking.
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No, not egotistical, just frustrated. Face it no matter the woman she eventually wants the guy to take the lead, have a plan, make a decision. You did that, she didn't react, it happens. Now once again, what did she do to make you feel she was into you?
 
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WhitePimp

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She was trying to prove herself to me in the convo by altering what she said to match what I said I liked, good response to kino, and positive body language, basically just general signs that she was down with me. I definitely killed some IL level towards the end and I probably could've had her out doing whatever if I'd been more decisive, but hey, at least I'm aware of it now and hopefully will be more prepared! :rockon:
 
T

Tomatoes

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this is where i would be shouting "YOU TAKE HER TO YOURS" threw a megaphone. That call may have been her way out of a failing date.....just a thought...
 
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flexion_

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If she was interested in you she would have jumped at any offer you had for plans. Next time if you are stuck then just go for a walk - find a park bench and go from there.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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brenbaus

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Your problem is that you asked her "do you wanna go do X activity?" NEVER ask he if she wants to go do whatever, say "Come on, I've got a suprise for you" or something along those lines, then go do whatever activity that you had planned. Remember, women like guys who are assertive, not an AFC who has to ask for her approval
 
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