avoiding friend zone if you start to realise it happening

[drift king]

is it possible to avoid the friendzone if you feel you're just at the start of it?

this HB I am seeing i had an action date with playing tennis, but then when i tried to meet up again she kept flaking on me i got annoyed.. we deleted each others numbers but i called her about 2 weeks after and she told me the reason she was being flakey was cos she had a bf.

 

[drift king]

i told her i don't keep girls around just as friends and i said that we'll talk again when she's single if i'm still available. she just wanted to play tennis and see how 'it' goes. i invited her to play about 5 days after that convo she was abroad so couldn't.

then when she got back she starts texting me all these long messages asking how i am.. almost an IOI if i didn't know any better. then i met up with her Saturday to play things went ok did a bit of C+F, couple neg-hits.

then we arranged to meet up again today to play and go to a sauna within my health club. it didn't go as well as i hoped.. i wasn't really on form, conversation very much on the friendzone side of things while we were eating lunch. then we played tennis, it was ok, but she had to leave within like an hour or so.. which kinda ruined my plans. got her in the pool tried touching her a bit.. she kept rejecting my kino.. i guess this is normal if she has a bf or she's not interested?

so i ended up realising i've been friendzoned and now i'm sulking and cutting her off.. is it even possible to get out of this once you've just started in this zone.. she has a bf so it's game over. im not gona supplicate her with my attention as i got other girls to focus on... so do i just ignore her and act busy when she arranges to meet now?

 

[magickarl]

You've got the right idea.

It's pretty hard to escape the friendzone. Unless, for some crazy reason, you are dead-set on having that girl in particular, the best thing to do is to just move on. In fact, unless you actually want to be friends with this girl (not a BAD idea. Networking is a good thing), I would just stop talking to her all together.

When you in the friendzone, in my mind, there are three different situations:

A. You never tried to be more than a friend. The disadvantage is that she doesn't really think of you as a potential lover. The advantage is, she has probably never put serious thought in to the possibility (I.E., there is a CHANCE that you can instill desire in to her head)

B. YOU put HER in to YOUR friendzone. This one is great, because it really makes you out to be a prize, and from what I've seen is the equivalent of having ***** on call. Bonus points if you flirt with her a little bit now and then just to keep her hopes up. The only real reason to put a woman into a friendzone though is kind of like a big neg hit (I don't think you are good enough for me), or if you really aren't as in to her as you thought. Otherwise, you should be tappin that ass.

C. She put YOU in to HER friendzone. This one applies to the situation being discussed. At this point, she has it in her head that you are not what she wants for a lover. Especially if she keeps talking about having a boyfriend, and especially if she is rejecting your kino. I've seen it happen before. But you've got to make a real impression on her.

My advice is that unless you want this girl as a friend, cut her off. If she has any sort of interest in you, she will try to get ahold of you. Make yourself real unavailable, and with any luck, that will send the message to her that your time is a premium, and you have no intention of spending it being some *****es buddy.

 

[Warrior74]

leave her alone and move on. thats not friendzone...thats 'can't take rejection' zone.

 

[drift king]

ok she's calling me now.. i didn't answer.

with this whole ganji method or just ignoring her do you need to respond in some way but scarcely?

cos it seems pretty rude if i just cut her out straight.. i could always just do what girls do and send a text the next day saying im busy just acknowledging their call or whatever.. or is a clean break better?

bear in mind i haven't known girl long so doing full on ganji major ignoring is just going to make you come across as 'what a d1ck' when i last tried this it didn't work and just acted uninterested in talking to her.

 

[magickarl]

Good plan. Text her saying that you were busy, but seen that she called, and ask her what she wanted.

From now on, if you want a piece of this womans *****, be a lot less available and make the time that you do spend with her golden.

Now, I am NO PROPONENT OF DATE RAPE. So don't get the wrong idea when I give you the following advice. See if she wants to hang out at your place to watch a movie or whatever, and get a bottle of liquor/wine. Have a few drinks and then try to initiate kino. Alcohol has a way of loosening people up, and allowing them to say what they really think about somebody.

This could end in two ways:

A: A heet ***** riding on your bologna pony
B: Being told no

Either way, you have your answer and can move on accordingly.

 

[drift king]

Good plan. Text her saying that you were busy, but seen that she called, and ask her what she wanted.

From now on, if you want a piece of this womans *****, be a lot less available and make the time that you do spend with her golden.

Now, I am NO PROPONENT OF DATE RAPE. So don't get the wrong idea when I give you the following advice. See if she wants to hang out at your place to watch a movie or whatever, and get a bottle of liquor/wine. Have a few drinks and then try to initiate kino. Alcohol has a way of loosening people up, and allowing them to say what they really think about somebody.

This could end in two ways:

A: A heet ***** riding on your bologna pony
B: Being told no

Either way, you have your answer and can move on accordingly.

thing is she has a boyfriend.. hence why i can't be bothered to pursue it anymore. i know he gets really jealous and it frustrates her so i was on the thought it's cos it's gona be over soon.

but i know what she's calling for.. she's just wanting to call me up to play tennis.. i'm not gona be her tennis buddy.. her fvck buddy yeah but nothing else.

should i still ask her in my text tomorrow what she wanted?

i was just gona send 'hey sorry i missed your call i've been busy past couple days'

do you need to say what you were busy doing..? i read somewhere confident men don't need to explain or give a reason elaborating what they were doing while they were busy.

she's gona wonder why i'm being so distant all of a sudden.. then potentially think i'm a d1ck who was just tryna see what he could get.

do i just carry on the process of avoiding her calls but texting the next day acknowledging them or should i answer every one in 3 calls?

she's wondering now how to win me back in her favour so i'll be her afc tennis buddy.. no way.

 

[DonGorgon]

YOU AR EIN TEH "CONFUSION ZONE" CAUSE YOU NEED TO BE STRAIGHT UP WITH HER NOW.. THE "GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER PHASE HAS PAST AND you have failed to go all out!

Tell her look... we get along very well and your a a great person but i am not sure if we are clicking. Maybe we should just be friends!? If she likes you she will try to chase and fix things if not she will be glad that you wont chase her anymore.. basically its reversed friend zone psychology.

 

[Vice]

Dude, BEFRIEND HER. Don't drop her you fool.

If she's attractive, you can use her as social proof.

When you play tennis with her, ONLY play tennis. Mess with her and tease her a bit, then leave.

If you're going to go play tennis and another girl down the road asks you to hang out, tell her this: "I'm going to play tennis with one of my friends, and she's [reason]". The subtle "she" will imply that you hang out with sporty girls. Thus raising attraction.

Also, another benefit may be that her boyfriend may become jealous, and jealousy makes girls lose attraction quick (someone correct me if I'm wrong).

Play cool.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Forget about the bf, if she's hanging with you, there should be implied interest.

What you need to do is start bringing other girls around. Ideal scenario would be at a house party. You can flirt it up with a couple HB's, then give her a bit of attention and then go back to the other HB's. If she has ANY interest in you she'll get jealous and start chasing.

Don't verbally tell her "we should just be friends," if she only thought of you as a friend this entire time it won't change the dynamic. Instead, bring other girls around, flirt with her and only talk to her briefly to set up a time/place to hangout. Then you can start saying things like "your such a good friend" while kino'ing her.....(two conflicting things) and see if it get you anywhere.


However bottom line, start meeting new girls, because this one isn't jumping on the bait at the moment.




PIMP

 

[drift king]

all great advice but i don't have other girls at the moment.. even ones just as friends.. reason being? i don't keep girls around as friends so if they're not interested in me i'll usually end up fvcking it up so we're not speaking to each other anymore.

i should mention that the conversation we had after i got annoyed at her for never committing to a time was when she told me she had a bf.. i told her straight up: 'i dont keep girls around as friends.. i just dont live my life that way.. cos i see every girl i meet as a potential future gf.. so maybe its better we meet up again when you're single.'

then somehow i ended up making it sound like i wanted to get to know her better cos i wasn't sure if i liked her yet.. i was hoping it came across in a u need to prove yourself to me kind of way but i think she took it as 'oh he usually doesn't have female friends but i'm different and special.'

then she starts texting me long messages the week after.. (although i did invite her to play tennis the week before but she couldn't make it) so it misled me to think she had interest now.

i afc'd up the last time we met.. partly because i didn't know what to say or do and i think afc mode is my default setting.. if we were in a quiet bar i'd use my tried and trusted method but downside is it doesn't work in any other setting..

i'm not gona be available to her anymore.. right now she wonders why i haven't responded to her call when in the past i've been quite swift in my responses/call backs. literally i've lost a bit of interest now. but i shouldn't be rude and just acknowledge her call tomorrow just to keep her sweet.. but dont give her any of my time in person now?

 

[drift king]

YOU AR EIN TEH "CONFUSION ZONE" CAUSE YOU NEED TO BE STRAIGHT UP WITH HER NOW.. THE "GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER PHASE HAS PAST AND you have failed to go all out!

Tell her look... we get along very well and your a a great person but i am not sure if we are clicking. Maybe we should just be friends!? If she likes you she will try to chase and fix things if not she will be glad that you wont chase her anymore.. basically its reversed friend zone psychology.

this would backfire.. she wants to be just friends.. (due to her bf situation) plus the problem with tennis is that if she needs a tennis buddy i get auto ljbf'd because her need for a tennis buddy is greater than a lover.. she already has one.. why would she substitute one for the other unless i build attraction.. i just dont know how.

right now she thinks somethings wrong and definitely knows i'm not acting as i normally do.. maybe sulking even.

 

[snowdog]

Now, I am NO PROPONENT OF DATE RAPE.

ROFL