Congratulations you approached your desired target, managed to extract her contact information, called her up, and asked her out. You convinced her to go on a second date with you with your humor, charms, and confidence. All signs point to goods things lie ahead. This seems like you can do no wrong and you are on your way to happiness. Here in lies the problem, when you go into the ONEITIS MODE (making a chic you just met the center of your universe) and become exclusive, you also stand the risk of smothering future potential. Meeting someone new is very exciting in the beginning due to the novelty effect. You are a bit of a mystery, unpredictable, it is quite flattering being desired, getting all that attention, etc. After the honeymoon phase is over the novelty effect begins to fade a little. Increasing the frequency of your exclusive interactions may also increase the boredom factor exponentially. What may have been cute/funny in the beginning now borders on irritating. Spending all your free time with an individual may in fact trigger anti-attraction within a persons brain. It’s a bit of a paradox, if one wants a exclusive relationship, it’s essential to increase your exposure frequency. The key is the amount of time it takes to transition into the exclusive phase. Remember that old saying friends first, well it’s true. As is only fools rush in, ‘cause the faster you fall in love, the faster you will out of love. Saying words like YOU COMPLETE ME early on is just plain insecure. Do this and you may end up hearing words like “you had me at get a life” and your ass being dumped. The solution is quite simple:
1) CONTINUE to date others, by diversifying you eliminate clingy behavior patterns. It also makes you in demand as you are viewed as the prize to win over.
2) Having an outside life of the relationship is what you want to shoot for.
3) Avoid over-exposure: Do not become dependant on the other person for your free time. Just because you can spend every weekend with them, DOES NOT mean you should.
4) Take your time, have some fun, make your time special so they are thinking about you when you are not around. Absence makes the heart grow founder.
5) Nexting: sometimes playing hard to get, saying NO, not answering their calls right away, making yourself scare increases your demand. Many times when a couple has a fight and one hangs up or avoids the other abruptly it triggers a chemical in the brain that causes emotions to be clouded. We want to resolve this as quickly as possible and when a person truncates communication it causes an imbalance. Technical term is referred to as forbidden fruit syndrome. We crave what we don’t have.
1) CONTINUE to date others, by diversifying you eliminate clingy behavior patterns. It also makes you in demand as you are viewed as the prize to win over.
2) Having an outside life of the relationship is what you want to shoot for.
3) Avoid over-exposure: Do not become dependant on the other person for your free time. Just because you can spend every weekend with them, DOES NOT mean you should.
4) Take your time, have some fun, make your time special so they are thinking about you when you are not around. Absence makes the heart grow founder.
5) Nexting: sometimes playing hard to get, saying NO, not answering their calls right away, making yourself scare increases your demand. Many times when a couple has a fight and one hangs up or avoids the other abruptly it triggers a chemical in the brain that causes emotions to be clouded. We want to resolve this as quickly as possible and when a person truncates communication it causes an imbalance. Technical term is referred to as forbidden fruit syndrome. We crave what we don’t have.
