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Avoid getting attached?

confusedstate

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In the past, I've got attached not even because I liked or loved the girl, but because ***** feels good and sex is great, the bonding, etc., and the fact that the girl isn't a complete snob, I think "wow." I also seem to turn into a different person when I talk to most women. I seem to talk like a super-nice guy even though deep down I'm anything but.

I'm trying to find a happy medium where I can be cordial but at the same time an aggressive sexual creature...a guy that is polite but is clear that he's talking to her because he wants to bed her. And a guy, that when he does bed her, he doesn't get emotional or mistake it for something it isn't.

Are you either this guy or you aren't, or is there a way to get over the emotional AFC side?
 

Thundernuts

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so...you want to become a Don Jaun?
 

confusedstate

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I want to be able to keep an even keel...and not let my emotions take over (i.e. calling a girl too much out of paranoia that she lost interest...feeling in love just because of the bonding of sex even though i'm not in love...being the same person i am when i'm single/dateless/sexless when i'm around a woman and getting dates and sex.)

it seems like "ok she isn't ugly, she let me have sex with her, you can have something resembling a conversation with her" then i get all afc.
 

Quality9.99

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Well its kinda easy...you just do it..there are no special tactics to not get attached.Usually if you are in relationship and you both of you are really into eachother and she isnt some idiot slut, attachment happens naturally, and its ok.


I say that if you are with a girl and she is your FB = dont get attached, simple.If you are just "dating", meaning not 100% in a relationship, just be masculine and show her she is with somebody who is trustworthy,strong,funny etc..but at the same time an animal who would satisfy her endlessly(sexually),and who would NEXT her if she starts bull****ing.

And finally if you are in a relationship( also keep your masculinity and everything involed in dating but if you will let your self be attached and put your "attachment shield" on easy or medium)...it depends on whether it is a good relationship that actually has potential to be a good LTR, or the other way around.There is nothing wrong with developing feelings and getting attached to someone , just dont get so attached that if they leave you/you leave them, you quit your life and start doing stupid ****, like doubting yourself,drinking,quiting stuff you love to do, etc..you know ....the works.

So really, basically you have to do what feels right in the current situation that you are in, but do it in moderation.Reminds me of a quote from World of Warcraft (" Take everything in moderation , even World of Warcraft ).So get attached but dont be the one posting on forums "How do i convince her to take me back, im LOST without her, I buy her gifts but she still has sex with ZE bead boyaa " (rough example).

You just have to be conscious about every situation and dont let yourself get overwhelmed.
 
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perseverance

Guest
There's nothing wrong with getting attached or falling in love providing you do not turn into a love sick puppy.

You can still fall in love with a woman without becoming Romeo. And just remember that too many men change, for example, they behave one way in the dating scene, yet change when they enter a relationship. You want to maintain the behaviour you exhibit in the dating stages when in a relationship.

Just think about the message you convey by altering your behaviour, you become weak in the woman's eyes, when she should see you as her Spartan Warrior, not Romeo who is missing his Juliette.
 

confusedstate

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I just don't want to get one-it-is over a girl I don't even have romantic feelings for.

I'd like to be able to hang out with a woman, talk to her, have sex with her, while still not letting go of the principles I've learned in the game the past couple years and keep an even keel...form a connection, but also not lose objectivity or get obsessed which some guys do on this site and sound like they're going to kill themselves (and I've been in the same position, but that was before I knew about any of this stuff.)

I'm never going to be the type of guy to have a booty call relationship with no rapport whatsoever, but I'd like to be the guy that is dating a woman (who he knows he's not likely to marry or even be with a couple years down the road) can enjoy her company, and have sex with her without going AFC. You can love someone without being "in love" with them.
 

Nkognito

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I have only had oneitis once to have learned my lesson. But the mentality you're seeking is only found in dating more than one girl.

Think of it like video games, you're playing two during the week, one is not better than the other but they have their perks. The same thing can be applied to reading two different books (if you can't related to the gaming analogy).

If you want to stay emotionally detached, don't stick to one girl. If you can't control your feelings that much then you have to trick them by dating more than one girl. (See example below).


:cheer: :confused: :cheer:
 
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it's easier said than done I know, but what did it for me was just experience. I had a few girlfriends when I was an AFC that I truly thought were "the one", but then I dumped them and found other girls that were even better in so many different ways. It's a big world out there.
 

sux2bu

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Yes, have more than one. Preferably 3 going at once. And you won't even need to worry about that dreaded "L" word.

Let her say the "L" word first. Then be like.. "I love me too." And don't even think about the "M" word. If you think marriage is expensive, wait until you have a divorce.
 

S. Pryor

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Ask someone that's qualified to give you QUALITY advice young man. You won't find many of them here...
 

Nkognito

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S. Pryor said:
Ask someone that's qualified to give you QUALITY advice young man. You won't find many of them here...
So you pop in the thread giving no real advice other than saying everyone that replied in this thread is not qualified to answer? What kind of crap is that?
 

Poonani Maker

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So what you're asking is, "How can I be tough?" Tough men do them and leave them period end of story, aftershave, you win the Gillette razor.

I feel MY job when boning a girl is making her get attached to me through the bonding we just had. Believe me, it is Much tougher for them to shuck their feelings for you after bonding than it is for you. They have to wear their genitals (emotions) on the inside.

I know that in the first few days or even weeks after fvcking a new girl, that I sense a sort of telepathic connection between us, even though we're so far away from each other in our worlds apart after the weekend. I believe that the girl I fvcked just last night and this morning can't help but to be thinking about me because of how lovingly long I ate her cvnt. It's harder for them. THEY have the fantasies about love and sh!t.
 
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perseverance

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I believe a tough man is someone who isn't afraid to show his emotions providing he can keep them in check and not allow them to control his thoughts or behaviour patterns.

I think it is very easy for a man to become attached especially if you are having lots of sex with a particular girl or enjoy being around her etc. However, you must always ensure that you maintain strength and not allow your emotions to dictate to you. If you allow this to happen you are weak in my opinion.
 

UniKKatiL

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confusedstate said:
In the past, I've got attached not even because I liked or loved the girl, but because ***** feels good and sex is great, the bonding, etc., and the fact that the girl isn't a complete snob, I think "wow." I also seem to turn into a different person when I talk to most women. I seem to talk like a super-nice guy even though deep down I'm anything but.

I'm trying to find a happy medium where I can be cordial but at the same time an aggressive sexual creature...a guy that is polite but is clear that he's talking to her because he wants to bed her. And a guy, that when he does bed her, he doesn't get emotional or mistake it for something it isn't.

Are you either this guy or you aren't, or is there a way to get over the emotional AFC side?
Sorry to tell you man, but that sounds AFC. I mean, you're supposed to be a player in these kinda situations and make a chick you **** just another girl, and go on to **** the next girl and the next.. they are supposed to feel attached, not you.. what the guy above wrote. But I've seen players fall in love in the end, and the girl they loved loved them even more.. they had that emotional connection. So I say lay chick after chick, and don't get attached because there are many other chicks out there. A real man can fall in love and get attached of course, but the difference between an afc and a real man is that the man can walk away anyday like it's nothing.. they sort of confront their feelings and move on, just like they confront fear. For example a tough guy, if he lost a family member, lets say his father or mother, even though he loved them more than anything he still wouldn't be crying.. he would just move the **** on. It's all mentality. That's what being tough is and it's Not about not having feelings or being fearless... it's someone who confronts those kinda things and move on, instead of crying like a total AFC, that's what being tough and brave is. Looking things from a bride side also helps. It's all about having confidence and believing in yourself. AFC's are insecure and have no confidence.

You wanna stop being emotional AFC? look up 'theplayersupremeshow' on youtube and watch his videos, he says he went from an AFC to a total player on top of the game.. so if he did it, why can't you?

Hope you understand what I wrote because English isn't my first language... actually it's my 3rd.
 

S. Pryor

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Nkognito said:
So you pop in the thread giving no real advice other than saying everyone that replied in this thread is not qualified to answer? What kind of crap is that?
I'll tell you exactly what kind of crap this is, this is the kind of crap that will help this guy receive some valuable information. I wasn't even referring to the guys in this thread. SOME of them may actually know what they're talking about. A majority of the people here are novices. Either that or you're spitting a bunch of 1980's game that no longer applies. This place is rather old school with not many redeeming qualities. Need some help? Read The Book Of Pook. Now that's gold! Want something more specific? Ask David Wygant. Talk to Tariq Nasheed. Refer to David X. All guys more qualified to speak on women than the ignoramus' that frequent this board. There's a MUCH bigger site than this one as well that you can consult on a wide array of things dealing with women. I'm sure most guys still use opinion openers here and try to escalate from an A3 to C2 or whatever complicated junk Mystery uses. Haha!
 

Quality9.99

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^^ troll

Get out, honestly, your replies in this thread are giving me a headache.Just cause someone is not living off of knowing every detail about a women and relationships and all that doesnt mean they do not know what they are talking about.
 

S. Pryor

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What is a troll? People always say that but I think it's ****ing stupid.
 
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