Available Married HB

[Latinoman]

The wife of a work associate... I don't think that I'd even touch that one.

I agree with you 100%. But some men go into AFC mode as they age. Many of those men used to be DJs too. Very sad the story on this thread...indeed.

 

[Latinoman]

Let me be blunt as I sense most of the advice given to you come from people that don’t understand career dynamics.

You are 51 years old. I don’t know what you do for a living, but something tells me that you work in a business that relies on “working relationships” and “associates” and the like. The best way to screw things up for your wellbeing ($$$) is to mess around with a “work associate” wife. Even if you have the so called “green light”. Things go wrong and your reputation and the trust of other men (let’s call them “other business associates”) would go down hill. And at 51…I don’t think you have a lot of room to start all over again.

I won’t preach against seeing married woman. As I’m not going to go into a moralistic mode. But as a man that value his career (MY career), I would say that my advice is touching an issue other than getting laid. Plenty of women out there to do that. “Work associates” wives should not be one of those. Even if there is a green light.

WAY too much to lose…especially at 51.

 

[MacAvoy]

Latinoman brings up some good points. I left an important aspect out when I gave my advice. The reason I was willing to go for it and date my boss's g/f behind his back was because I had confidence in my work abilities to not allow it be the end of my career if I did get caught.

I've got a large enough network and the type of work I do, that it would only put a slowdown on one stream of my income network. Secondly, my colleague needs me more than I need him, although he's alot more powerful and connected, without me making him look good, he's got a lot of work to do that he isn't good at. So I have the upper hand in a sense as there is no one that can replace me as effectively.

So I'm normally one not to dip into the company ink but if a challenge is in front of me, or something new that I've never tried, then I'm usually all over it, but thats the way I choose to live my life. My priorities have always been on the adventure side as opposed to the secure side.

You need to determine what is important to you. Maybe its insecurity on my part but I try to live as much as I can so I don't have regrets when I'm older.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I agree with you 100%. But some men go into AFC mode as they age...

Dude, you're scaring me. I don't worry about incontinence nor prostate cancer but the chance of reverting to AFC conditioning???!!! Whoa, that's some deep sh1t.... :nervous:

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Let me be blunt as I sense most of the advice given to you come from people that don’t understand career dynamics.....

Thanks for giving them an explanation. I've yet to come across any poon that's worth putting my career and the ability to eat and pay the mortgage in jeopardy.

 

[STR8UP]

Thanks for giving them an explanation. I've yet to come across any poon that's worth putting my career and the ability to eat and pay the mortgage in jeopardy.

Yea, with ANY interaction with women you have to weigh out the risk/effort vs reward.

It's one thing to fukk a married woman who is begging for it. It's another if her husband is your friend/coworker.

I have an employee that is absolutely in love with a model that i work with from time to time. She's given me IOI's but I would never act on them just out of respect for him, even though he's firmly planted in the friend zone.

 

[Juando]

Meeting this woman and having the encounter was probably one the best things that's happened to me in a long time.

Not just because of the prospect of some tasty pu$$y but because it set me up to take a good look in the mirror.

My perspective has been on a rollercoaster ride since Saturday night.
Many of you have taken polar opposite sides on how to (and not to) proceed.
Interestingly, a few of you have wavered somewhat back and forth- just like me.

I definitely feel more grounded about the whole thing.
I don't see myself risking my livelihood and reputation for a romp, and
thanks to having secured other plates that helps keep me from the abyss
of blind AFC and Oneitis.

Briefly: I was in love for the entire duration of a 12 year LTR that ended a few months ago when my LTR decided she needed to "find herself".
After somewhat recovering from the shock I was very surprised to not only be starting over but that women, even young women could be attracted to me. I guess being left really did a number on me.

So I've gone from crawling to walking these past few months and this community has been inspiring and healing to me.

I think I've always had a mixture of AFC and DJ in me but it really helps
to be able to sort it out.

Anyway, I will proceed carefully. Whatever I think about the Puritanical element of our culture it's there whether I like it or not, even here on this site.

I have not really explored alternate lifestyles so this couple interests me also from that perspective- I'm curious if it's real or just wishful thinking on their
(her) part...

I would like to see her again for a few reasons;
if the "fire" ignites again I feel like I can deal with it now.
Just curious what it will be like to be with her with the lights turned up, with a more sober outlook.

 

[Latinoman]

Some points:

1) If this couple was into the "alternate lifestyle"...HE (not her) would have been the one approaching you with this.

2) Risking your career or professional reputation is AFC.

3) You are already experiencing one-itis.

 

[Juando]

Some points:

1) If this couple was into the "alternate lifestyle"...HE (not her) would have been the one approaching you with this.

2) Risking your career or professional reputation is AFC.

3) You are already experiencing one-itis.

Sound like I need the AFC EMS team to come pick me up ASAP.

Seriously, I've got plans with an Asian HB this wknd- should help take my
"mind" off this scenario.

Hopefully, like a bird taking its first flight attempts I can get through this stuff without crashing and burning too badly.

You're right about the one-itis: I totally fell into this woman's orb when she
flashed her goodies at me with that "take me I'm yours" grin.

I do have a lot to learn; I've learned a lot reading here but I learn by doing and I've got to test myself in the field and risk falling down.

I am a risk taker. I've been rescued and come close to serious personal injury many times while climbing, water sports, etc.

I'm not suicidal or stupid, I weigh risks and sometimes back off.

I'm taking as much of the advice here to heart as I can.
But I probably won't play it totally safe- that's not me.

I'll keep you guys posted.

 

[drmeathead]

dont email dont call dont do anything but talk to her in person. if you happen to run it to her, **** her. if not even better. the last damn thing you need is any sort of a paper trail.

 

[Ever onward]

Juando -

Here's an idea for broaching the subject with the husband. Just mention to him that you had a conversation with his wife at the party and she told you that he has "permission" to have sex with someone else. If he really does, I'm sure he would tell you all about it. Then you can easily say "so does policy go both ways?'.

I think that's a low risk way to find out the score.