Authenticity vs RP tradeoff

[maverickbh]

Hi guys,

I’ve been grappling a lot with authenticity versus RP, and whether there’s a way to do both.

I am a deep person. I don’t like small talk. I like to get to know people on a deep, personal level. I don’t like nightclubs and I didn’t like casual hookups. I just don’t like all superficial, casual things. Sex with people I didn’t know felt very transactional and meaningless. As soon as I was done, I felt like it was a waste. I like meaning. I like significance. I want meaning and significance; it’s simply who I am. I was also raised in a religious, conservative household so my default is to expect loyalty and I am oriented towards monogamy.

Ever since I discovered the red pill 2 years ago, I disavowed monogamy and tried so hard to plate women and maximize my number count, shunning my conditioning to monogamy as blue pill. I didn’t succeed. Whereas I excelled in my intimate relationships in the past, I had very few success with party girls and plating girls. Casual hookups came with feelings and I was really hurt to see girls who I slept with (and cared about...) sleep with other guys. It made me miserable. I care. I just can't help it. I can't force myself to be "casual" when I am not. Me trying to pick up women in a bar, or try to juggle multiple girls at once, is like having Roger Federer abandon tennis to try to be the best football player ever. It just didn’t work and I am tired of trying to be what I am not.

I don’t want to be blue pill. I know that putting my eggs in one basket is risky – it’s just unsound strategy. I also know that given my young age, I am best advised to “play the field” to get more experience. But what about being authentic to who I am? Maybe I am just not the hookup type?

What does the RP community have to say to deep, meaning-oriented people like me? What to do to optimize sexual activity and want not to do?

 

[lamath]

You can be both just need the mindset for it.

I dont do plate either and i do look for more than just superficial.

However imo you need to have the right mindset, need to know that if things dont go the way you want its no problem walking away, more women are waiting for a chance to date you.
Dont sacrifice your own need and ambitions to please a women.
Respect yourself and your point of view above all. Need to be confident and assertive

 

[AttackFormation]

The red/black pill is just information for you to introspect on and see if you can find those patterns in reality, it's not a prescription of behavior, especially not if you look at reality and find a mismatch between what's said and what happens. The point is for you to decide what you want to do with it and find out who you really are.

If you are doing something because keyboard alphas told you that's what a real man does, then you are still basically blue pilled. You are still driven by external impression rather than internal authenticity.

That's why there is nothing for the community to say to you, in terms of directing you in what to do. There may be suggestions, but you are the one who has to say that yourself. There is no right or wrong desire, if it comes from yourself and is properly informed. All we can do is advice you to ask yourself what it is you really want, and help inform the choices you decide you want to make.