"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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austrian psycho

johnny_br4vo

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hi world,

1st of all i'd like to introduce myself: 29, male, living in vienna/austria. please excuse my spelling!

my life has been kind of confusing for about 1 1/2 years now. for sure caused by a nice blonde one... arghh.

facts: i've been TRYING and trying. in the beginning it was from her side like "hm, i'm not sure, there's still another guy". then she said "no way". ok - i was DOWN but i could handle it.

next stage: she became the girlfriend of a "friend" of mine. but why? he was in my situation and told her, that he'd stop seeing her if she didn't give him a chance. three month later, she left him. then she had another boyfriend - three month later he left her.

next stage: i thought "ok, you can't have her, but you still like her" (ok, it's more than that, still in luv however...). so we became "friends". does this make things easier? no way. why? we don't have sex, but she's got no problem with snuggling up to me. i like it / i hate it. ok, this is personal - how ever i think this whole board is personal, but it's not ONLY sex i'd like to have with her, it's more than that, i think you can understand. her lying next to me gives me the rest, i see her about one or two times a week - hard for my mind
many words...

1.) i'm her best friend (she tells me). i'd be an ******* if i abandoned this friendship cause in the end she really hast not got too many friends out there and this is true
2.) i should think about me first, i think that's the way it really should be
3.) i can't imagine how it'd be to NOT see her anymore (kind of refering to point "2"...)
4.) i think she just gives me SOME closeness to keep me "happy"
5.) very often she's depressive - i honestly listen, i guess not everybody does that - she knows where to go when she's down
6.) she finished her studies in psychology, still studies economics - so she knows about other minds very well and can handle changing situations.
7.) i hate it to be THAT weak!

IS THERE A SOLUTION FOR ME?
things like "forget her" "stop seeing" her will not avail i guess - i'm too stoopid for an easy solution like that - and i still don't wanna be a loser in that case, too important - it's definitly HER i want

kind regards and thx 4 your replies
-johnny-
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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SELF-MASTERY

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Drop her.
 

Eccentric

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Yeah I agree, I went through something similar. The lightbulb will never come on in her head where she realizes you've been there all along. Instead she's going to be dropping her panties for every guy that crosses her path. You'll hear all the gossip like a sister, cousin, or girlfriend. The whole snuggling thing is bait to keep you around, so she's got a moral support and a crutch for when the guys use and abuse her.
 

johnny_br4vo

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SELF-MASTERY said:
Drop her.
:eek:

i was thinking about such straight answer...

at the moment i'm reading "the book of pook". yeah, i'm excactly that idiot the book describes... damn.

and nobody thinks that there's a way to turn a friendship into a relationship? no damn mystery method for THAT?
 

johnny_br4vo

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Eccentric said:
Yeah I agree, I went through something similar. The lightbulb will never come on in her head where she realizes you've been there all along. Instead she's going to be dropping her panties for every guy that crosses her path. You'll hear all the gossip like a sister, cousin, or girlfriend. The whole snuggling thing is bait to keep you around, so she's got a moral support and a crutch for when the guys use and abuse her.
also true. cruel world... i'll invent some "magic love drink". will make me rich & famous too. wow, a win-win-win product *woohoo*
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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