You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
BuildingSomethingBig said:Dude, stop trying to act like anybody other than yourself. Bond has a particular style and it works for him because it is congruent with his identity. Don't forget, James Bond is a cold-hearted assassin. Are you? It's like practioners of Mystery Method that dress in crazy hats and platform boots, and perform magic tricks in bars and clubs. They're acting like Mystery because they think that this is what makes him succesful, but what they fail realise is that Mystery is a magician, and all that stuff is congruent with his identity as a magician. You're not exactly going to have the same success if you're an accountant, for example.
kickureface said:its clear that ppl would be attracted to a person like james bond. but is reasonable to mimic his style to attract women? i find it hard since its so different from what we're used to. he's always cool and relaxed, and that just seems impossible. a more common person, say a cnf guy still attracts women but is much easier to become rather than a bond.
FIRST you have to DEFINE who you are.i think that most guys here may have a less then stable identity.for example,someone that hasn't fully developed their identity or personality,may be a little lost and tactfull in how they act and the image they project of themselves.The people with the strongest frames and the most confident,have strong idenities and they know who they are and they are confident in that identity.When growing up,without role models or a strong core of beliefs,who you are,what you like,what your standards are..it's kind a tough to project an idenity of confident and poise when the roots of personality and identity is still developing and somewhat shaken.I say as a start ,write it out.Define yourself genuinly ,likes,dislikes,clothing style,music,activitys..all of which ,create and make up who you are and your personality- it's what makes you unique and who YOU are. don't sell yourself short just to be someone you're not ,just because you think that it'll be more attractive to girls..thats just plain stupid,you're worth may more then that,no girl is worth being a sell out for.no one is worth being a sell out forBuildingSomethingBig said:Dude, stop trying to act like anybody other than yourself. Bond has a particular style and it works for him because it is congruent with his identity. Don't forget, James Bond is a cold-hearted assassin. Are you? It's like practitioners of Mystery Method that dress in crazy hats and platform boots, and perform magic tricks in bars and clubs. They're acting like Mystery because they think that this is what makes him succesful, but what they fail realise is that Mystery is a magician, and all that stuff is congruent with his identity as a magician. You're not exactly going to have the same success if you're an accountant, for example.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
As it seems to you, so shall it be for you.kickureface said:he's always cool and relaxed, and that just seems impossible.