What is Attraction?
This is a question that has been on my mind. Is attraction good looks? Is it subjective? Is it controlled by the media and what society defines as 'in' or 'hot'?
In trying to find an anwser I came across what to me (yes me, not everyone will agree, we are all different after all) is the base of attraction.
What do we do to attract women?
After reading half the sh!t on this forum, I am worried about the image people are setting for themselves. Why you ask? Because most of it is faked, people are wearing a 'guise' of who they want to be, instead of being themselves. Sadly, behind it all, they remain as insecure as the day they came here.
This is where we come upon the most common mistake of attraction:
We let what we read and hear influence us to the point of changing who we are. Why? Why change who you are to be something your not. Now I know what your thinking: "Being a DJ is all about change, going from an AFC to a DJ is change itself..."
Wrong, the process of going from an AFC to Don Juan isn't change at all, it's personal growth. Your still the same person, you just have more expirence and knowledge. Isn't this the same process we go through while growing up? You don't wake up one morning as someone else, someone with whole different thinking patterns and mindset. Instead we grow through the years based on the events of life, what we learn and what we deal with. We never change, only mature.
Its sad to see grown men out there who have gone through so much of life without ever maturing when it comes to women. These are the same people that think changing who they are will get them better results with women. They lack the insight to see that if they only believed in themselves, they would see greater success with women then they ever dreamed possible.
Believing = Confidence
My coach use to tell us that if we didn't believe in what we were doing, how could we ever give it 100%. This holds true to anything including women and attraction. Believing is the key to confidence. If you can't see yourself approaching/talking/dating women, then how will anything on this site help you. Sure, you know all about Neg-hits, and you practically memorized everything on C&F and all the writtings about being 'alpha'. But how are they of any use if your never going to use them, or even worse, use them wrongly.
Don't let all the Tips and Techniques define you, instead define the tips and techniques to fit who you are: be yourself.
I can't stress the importance of being yourself enough. More importantly, accepting who you are.
At times we all wish we could be someone else, but why? Because we desire traits we see in others that we lack? Why emulate someone else, by doing so we give up the most powerful attribute we each have. One of the bases of our attraction: our uniqueness. No one, No ONE, is the same, we are all different.
What makes us unique? Our life expirences, the things that define us are what make us different. Life experience is what life is all about. Its why we exsist. The trials of life shape us, but more than that, give us something to live for. This is when you have to question yourself: what exactly are you living for, why is it so important? Are you wasting your life by watching television, playing video games, or any other time wasting activitys?
I read in a business book once that Time is our most important asset. Why is it so important? Because any other asset we have some type of authority over. Guys, we can't control time, however we can control what we do with it. By using all the time we can to improve ourselves we are ultimately bettering ourselves and coming closer to getting what we want out of life.
The first part of attraction is gained by accepting who you are; being yourself.
How can you even attempt to figure someone else out (women) if you don't know who you are? By finding yourself you gain a genuine confidence that no technique or tip could teach you or ever match.
Attraction begins with Confidence!
Confidence is closely related to next important issue: Field Expirence.
You can sit at your compter for the next few months reading up on 'how to pick up women', but what the fvck is the point if you never put it to use? Yeah, great, you know everything about Kino and good Openers, but if you never put it to use, your only wasting your time. Instead of reading the newest tip in the forum or spending your night catching up on new tricks, turn off your computer and go out. APPLY APPLY APPLY APPLY! Approach women, get numbers, get rejected, do anything but spend another night infront of the computer or on a couch watching your TV.
By going out and putting to use what you know, you are gaining your own personal, unique field experience. You know what works and what doesn't work for who you are.
Attraction is Confidence and Experience, but what else?
Most people think attraction is looks? Is it? If I said no I would be lying, but is attraction completely looks? NO. Looks only account for a small part of attraction.
Why do looks account for so little? Simply because looks are subjective. Don't believe me? Go out with you friends and look at different girls, voice how you think the different girls look. I can guarantee you that you and your friends answers will vary, and in some cases, greatly. This is because we all have different tastes in women, we are all attracted to different things, this is another way we are unique.
So if obviously you and your friends have different tastes in women, then why should women be any different? Heres a secret: they're not!
Don't be hard on yourself if you think you don't have the right 'looks', because there is no such things as right looks, only poor self-esteem and self-image. How do you get rid of this? Simple: you have to accept who you are.
It makes me sick to see all the new shows on TV that focus and even encourage people getting plastic surgery to change their looks? They spend thousands of dollars and risk serious permenant injury just to change they way they look. Why? Wouldn't it be easier to just find the confidence in themselves? The problem is that these people never believed in themselves. They opted for a risky solution. I can tell you this though, they remain as insecure if not more so then they were before the operations. They may have what they desired on the outside, the 'change', but on the inside, they still feel like sh!t. Why? Because they are FAKE and they know it.
So if attraction is both confidence and experience, and looks takes a back seat, remaining only a small, non-integral portion, what else make up attraction?
Attraction is many things, but the most overlooked, and one of the most important is: Mannerisms.
Mannerisms are the things we do, little or big, that attract others. We give off hundreds of mannerisms a day, most of the time not even consciously knowing it. They are things we don't even think about because we are so use to doing them, they are apart of who we are. They could range from the way you talk to way you walk and carry yourself. These Mannerism give off signals to everyone, not just women. They tell more about us then we know.
Have you ever seen someone staring at the ground while they walk, they arn't consciously doing it, but it gives off the signal that they are submissive. The same applies to how loud or soft a person talks and in what tone. Do they make eye contact with you while conversing or do they look away. All these things matter, they tell much more about you then you think.
Try making a conscious effort next time. Try to see what kind of mannersiams you have, read what signals you might be giving off. You will see that this ties in closely with the way people view you.
Attraction is Confidence, Experience, Looks, and Mannerisms.
They are the foundation of attracting anyone. From there you can get into different tips, tricks, and techniques outlined at this site, but without this soild foundation, you will not only fail to get the women, but also fail yourself.
----
If anyone has any other views on attraction post them. Different views are always appreciated.
-LT1
This is a question that has been on my mind. Is attraction good looks? Is it subjective? Is it controlled by the media and what society defines as 'in' or 'hot'?
In trying to find an anwser I came across what to me (yes me, not everyone will agree, we are all different after all) is the base of attraction.
What do we do to attract women?
After reading half the sh!t on this forum, I am worried about the image people are setting for themselves. Why you ask? Because most of it is faked, people are wearing a 'guise' of who they want to be, instead of being themselves. Sadly, behind it all, they remain as insecure as the day they came here.
This is where we come upon the most common mistake of attraction:
We let what we read and hear influence us to the point of changing who we are. Why? Why change who you are to be something your not. Now I know what your thinking: "Being a DJ is all about change, going from an AFC to a DJ is change itself..."
Wrong, the process of going from an AFC to Don Juan isn't change at all, it's personal growth. Your still the same person, you just have more expirence and knowledge. Isn't this the same process we go through while growing up? You don't wake up one morning as someone else, someone with whole different thinking patterns and mindset. Instead we grow through the years based on the events of life, what we learn and what we deal with. We never change, only mature.
Its sad to see grown men out there who have gone through so much of life without ever maturing when it comes to women. These are the same people that think changing who they are will get them better results with women. They lack the insight to see that if they only believed in themselves, they would see greater success with women then they ever dreamed possible.
Believing = Confidence
My coach use to tell us that if we didn't believe in what we were doing, how could we ever give it 100%. This holds true to anything including women and attraction. Believing is the key to confidence. If you can't see yourself approaching/talking/dating women, then how will anything on this site help you. Sure, you know all about Neg-hits, and you practically memorized everything on C&F and all the writtings about being 'alpha'. But how are they of any use if your never going to use them, or even worse, use them wrongly.
Don't let all the Tips and Techniques define you, instead define the tips and techniques to fit who you are: be yourself.
I can't stress the importance of being yourself enough. More importantly, accepting who you are.
At times we all wish we could be someone else, but why? Because we desire traits we see in others that we lack? Why emulate someone else, by doing so we give up the most powerful attribute we each have. One of the bases of our attraction: our uniqueness. No one, No ONE, is the same, we are all different.
What makes us unique? Our life expirences, the things that define us are what make us different. Life experience is what life is all about. Its why we exsist. The trials of life shape us, but more than that, give us something to live for. This is when you have to question yourself: what exactly are you living for, why is it so important? Are you wasting your life by watching television, playing video games, or any other time wasting activitys?
I read in a business book once that Time is our most important asset. Why is it so important? Because any other asset we have some type of authority over. Guys, we can't control time, however we can control what we do with it. By using all the time we can to improve ourselves we are ultimately bettering ourselves and coming closer to getting what we want out of life.
The first part of attraction is gained by accepting who you are; being yourself.
How can you even attempt to figure someone else out (women) if you don't know who you are? By finding yourself you gain a genuine confidence that no technique or tip could teach you or ever match.
Attraction begins with Confidence!
Confidence is closely related to next important issue: Field Expirence.
You can sit at your compter for the next few months reading up on 'how to pick up women', but what the fvck is the point if you never put it to use? Yeah, great, you know everything about Kino and good Openers, but if you never put it to use, your only wasting your time. Instead of reading the newest tip in the forum or spending your night catching up on new tricks, turn off your computer and go out. APPLY APPLY APPLY APPLY! Approach women, get numbers, get rejected, do anything but spend another night infront of the computer or on a couch watching your TV.
By going out and putting to use what you know, you are gaining your own personal, unique field experience. You know what works and what doesn't work for who you are.
Attraction is Confidence and Experience, but what else?
Most people think attraction is looks? Is it? If I said no I would be lying, but is attraction completely looks? NO. Looks only account for a small part of attraction.
Why do looks account for so little? Simply because looks are subjective. Don't believe me? Go out with you friends and look at different girls, voice how you think the different girls look. I can guarantee you that you and your friends answers will vary, and in some cases, greatly. This is because we all have different tastes in women, we are all attracted to different things, this is another way we are unique.
So if obviously you and your friends have different tastes in women, then why should women be any different? Heres a secret: they're not!
Don't be hard on yourself if you think you don't have the right 'looks', because there is no such things as right looks, only poor self-esteem and self-image. How do you get rid of this? Simple: you have to accept who you are.
It makes me sick to see all the new shows on TV that focus and even encourage people getting plastic surgery to change their looks? They spend thousands of dollars and risk serious permenant injury just to change they way they look. Why? Wouldn't it be easier to just find the confidence in themselves? The problem is that these people never believed in themselves. They opted for a risky solution. I can tell you this though, they remain as insecure if not more so then they were before the operations. They may have what they desired on the outside, the 'change', but on the inside, they still feel like sh!t. Why? Because they are FAKE and they know it.
So if attraction is both confidence and experience, and looks takes a back seat, remaining only a small, non-integral portion, what else make up attraction?
Attraction is many things, but the most overlooked, and one of the most important is: Mannerisms.
Mannerisms are the things we do, little or big, that attract others. We give off hundreds of mannerisms a day, most of the time not even consciously knowing it. They are things we don't even think about because we are so use to doing them, they are apart of who we are. They could range from the way you talk to way you walk and carry yourself. These Mannerism give off signals to everyone, not just women. They tell more about us then we know.
Have you ever seen someone staring at the ground while they walk, they arn't consciously doing it, but it gives off the signal that they are submissive. The same applies to how loud or soft a person talks and in what tone. Do they make eye contact with you while conversing or do they look away. All these things matter, they tell much more about you then you think.
Try making a conscious effort next time. Try to see what kind of mannersiams you have, read what signals you might be giving off. You will see that this ties in closely with the way people view you.
Attraction is Confidence, Experience, Looks, and Mannerisms.
They are the foundation of attracting anyone. From there you can get into different tips, tricks, and techniques outlined at this site, but without this soild foundation, you will not only fail to get the women, but also fail yourself.
----
If anyone has any other views on attraction post them. Different views are always appreciated.
-LT1
