attraction in the mind

[check_mate_kid_uk]

I noticed something interesting. When i see a girl, i quickly decided whether or not she is attractive. This my also dictate how i treat her. After a while of feeling attracted i may then decided that i want her, and i now make it my goal to win her over.

As soon i tell myself i want her, in my head i subconsiously build up high value of her, as soon as i tell myself i want her i start convincing myself that she has a lot of value to her, that shes a good catch, this oppinion isnt based on anything rational, but i just find myself building up my oppinion of her in this way.

When i say build up value, it not neccisrly actual facts about her, its more a case of convincing myself that i want her.

This is the point where 'shes hot' turns in to 'i like her'

I find that because attraction seems to be built so much in my head, the attraction grows the most when i dont see the girl! Sometimes i have met a girl and then thought i dont actualy like her as much as a did before we jsut met but then as i go awya attraction builds more!

Can anyone relate to this?

 

[DonJuanByNature]

have you ever heard "the quicker it comes the quicker it goes" well some of it applies to what you said... a girl that is into you too quick or vice versa, means she or you is building the person into something that maybe is or maybe no, i.e. you cant know so fast... and chances are it is not and will explode in your face.. ur just falling for a girl.. i.e. a "crush" as you get older, you will stop falling into this trap, cause you already answered ur quesiton, most of the time the girl will be something else then you "imagined" (notice the word used... imagined)...
it is what it is..get to know her and then see if you like her etc etc... (dont forget, fck her first.. i.e. first worry about hitting it.. then worry about if she relationship material. lol... keep in mind.. good girl wouldnt be easily fckable)

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Yeah i get what you mean and this has been a big problem for me because its easy to not give a girl to much attention as its a physical thing you do or dont do, but i find its not that easy whne it comes to not creating value for a girl in your mind.

It can lead me in to a situation where i start to think about a relationship quite soon, it is the reason why i dont tend to aproach girls anymore because then it imediatly puts me in the position of doing it more.

I can talk to really hot girls and i dont get nervous but if i start convincing myself i like her so quickly that we are not even comfortable around each other yet then it makes me real nervous when i talk to her.

 

[DonJuanByNature]

I can talk to really hot girls and i dont get nervous but if i start convincing myself i like her so quickly that we are not even comfortable around each other yet then it makes me real nervous when i talk to her.

nervous is okay, as long as its not nervous and "uncomfterble" then its better to slow down and take it slower...

also, keep your options open... like it or not, hot girls out there that are social have multiple BF's...

i.e. if she is really the one for you, it will feel good and she will resipricate...

but dont count your chickens

 

[Delta]

actually, i think you're missing a basic point:

ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HAVE VALUE. they are of value in society because they are in demand. THIS IS FACT.

so you are perceiving truth.

it cannot wreck your game - but it is truth.

delta

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

actually, i think you're missing a basic point:

ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HAVE VALUE. they are of value in society because they are in demand. THIS IS FACT.

so you are perceiving truth.

it cannot wreck your game - but it is truth.

delta

You could say that, and its certainly a valid point, however some of these girls have nothing other then their looks, they offer nothing to society as a whole and so i dont think they have any real value.