Attraction: can it REALLY be built, or does it already have to somewhat be there?

[Rebound Material]

...and thats my question. I know alot of friends that got with their GF's because the girl was slightly interested/attracted to them first. This made getting together with them an easier task and all they had to do was not mess up. So, what do you guys think?

 

[Mistic]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=131252

 

[Rebound Material]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=131252

Thanks dood that really helped....sucks how Dongfu was banned...

 

[Entropy4]

I disagree with dong's post completely.

Men and women develop attraction differently based on thousands of years of evolutionary psychology.

Rebound: the short answer to your question is both. Yes, you build attraction, but factors such as your looks, wealth, status, social circle, etc., can speed up or slow down that attraction process. Sometimes it can slow to the point where you will never be able to get anywhere with the girl no matter what. Other times it speeds up to the point where you can **** her within 20 or 30 minutes of meeting her.

 

[LeComteDeMonteCristo]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=131252

Ugh. Keyboard Jockeying.

This question is so pointless. Dong talks and talks but what does it all come down to...

Further more, I feel that the games women play, like acting uninterested, and blocking your efforts before succumbing, give to the illusion that you were building attraction. Just because it took you a while to get confirmation of interest, doesnt mean it wasnt there from the beginning. Women can hide it well, to test you.

And I ask, what is the practical difference to you of a woman who is not interested and a woman who is hiding her interest in terms of how you run your game? Nothing.

My advice to you: stop philosophizing over pointless crap like this and be wary of people like Dong who love the sound of their own keyboard tapping. When you're with a new woman, just assume attraction and then just run your game until you either get blown out or you get the close you want. Simple. Practical. No more over-thinking.

 

[lookyoung]

hey

In todays society it is usually an attraction at first. The girl must think your somewhat attractive. If the girl does not find you attractive at all than your probably not going to build attraction.

That being said attraction is built on a number of different things. The way you walk, Talk, your physique, and your confidence. Confident people have an aura about them that makes people gravitate towards them. Confidence today is very important.

FYI if a woman is interested in you and if both of you are past the age of 18 she will make it very OBVIOUS that she wants to be with you. She will not give that many mixed signals. Now that is usually the case.

 

[tsmith2334]

And I ask, what is the practical difference to you of a woman who is not interested and a woman who is hiding her interest in terms of how you run your game? Nothing.

I've dealt with both and in my experience there is a difference. The girl who isn't interested at the bar will pleasently say hello, entertain you're approach for a minute and walk away with no attention of returning or following up.

The girl who is hiding her interest will walk away and secretly hope you come back. If there's any kind of delay to your return, her interest could very well increase. Taking your time could backfire too, but that's for another post.

My point is, even if there's an inkling of attraction (be it emotional, physical or both) you can usually make things happen if you play your cards right and cicrcumstances flow in your favor. If there is NOTHING after your initial meeting, you're fighting an uphill battle.

 

[Mistic]

Here is my advice. If you want to do a lot of unnecessary work, and get a lot of rejection, then go on blindly trying to build attraction where their may be none.

Or, you can simply be you, stay tuned in to how women are responding to you, and proceed accordingly. This is the Zen approach. Count Monte's approach is a numbers game. BTW Monte, running game is for juveniles. In time you'll figure it out.

I dont have time to try and convince women to get interested in me by using all these strategies. She either is attracted to me or she isn't. It's my job to find out which one it is. That's all. It doesn't get more simple than that.

 

[Mistic]

I've dealt with both and in my experience there is a difference. The girl who isn't interested at the bar will pleasently say hello, entertain you're approach for a minute and walk away with no attention of returning or following up.

The girl who is hiding her interest will walk away and secretly hope you come back. If there's any kind of delay to your return, her interest could very well increase. Taking your time could backfire too, but that's for another post.

My point is, even if there's an inkling of attraction (be it emotional, physical or both) you can usually make things happen if you play your cards right and cicrcumstances flow in your favor. If there is NOTHING after your initial meeting, you're fighting an uphill battle.

Making some sense. Thanks

 

[tsmith2334]

In todays society it is usually an attraction at first. The girl must think your somewhat attractive. If the girl does not find you attractive at all than your probably not going to build attraction.

That being said attraction is built on a number of different things. The way you walk, Talk, your physique, and your confidence. Confident people have an aura about them that makes people gravitate towards them. Confidence today is very important.

Good post

[
FYI if a woman is interested in you and if both of you are past the age of 18 she will make it very OBVIOUS that she wants to be with you. She will not give that many mixed signals. Now that is usually the case.

I'm in my early 20's and haven't seen that kind of maturity yet. I think it comes around 25 with most women.

 

[Entropy4]

Wow, I disagree with almost every reply in this thread.

How many cold approaches have you guys done? Attraction CAN be built from scratch. I've done it countless times. I've talked to girls after I've slept with them to have them tell me that I made an awful first impression, but I slowly won them over. Usually, there's one thing I did or said that "tipped the balance" in my favor, and they suddenly liked me.

This happens ALL the time. This is what this community is based upon. If you guys want to sit around and wait for girls to be attracted to you, that's cool. Maybe you're really good looking or something. But sorry, I see WAY too many hot girls every day to just let them pass me by without trying.

 

[PRMoon]

I think instant attaction may not be present in every meeting between two people. I've met (or not met depending on how you want to look at it) a few girls who didn't even register as a blip on my radar but they stuck around, sported different outfits and bathing suits and it hits me.

How many times have you guys been around a chic one time at work or in a social group not though of her as anything then one day say to another friend "Damn! So and so is HOT! Who knew?!"

I also think some ladies can grow on you. Where as you don't find them too attractive in one way, they can impress you in other ways to compensate and next thing you know you're married with dogs or something. It is far more common however to be attracted to someone based on their ******d appearence first then fill in the gaps as best they can for the other parts "Because she's sooooooo hot". Hard to get over things we want, especially if we can't have them.

 

[schttrj]

Wow, I disagree with almost every reply in this thread.

How many cold approaches have you guys done? Attraction CAN be built from scratch. I've done it countless times. I've talked to girls after I've slept with them to have them tell me that I made an awful first impression, but I slowly won them over. Usually, there's one thing I did or said that "tipped the balance" in my favor, and they suddenly liked me.

This happens ALL the time. This is what this community is based upon. If you guys want to sit around and wait for girls to be attracted to you, that's cool. Maybe you're really good looking or something. But sorry, I see WAY too many hot girls every day to just let them pass me by without trying.

whoa! u make a great impression, buddy. and i think ur mindset is kool. this is what we should think like. but im yet to see that in front of my eyes. because whatever the dating gurus or this site may say, i have never seen a quality girl get together with a boy where she didnt find him attractive at all at first. do u think u can pull it off? and guys, its impossible to think u can get hundred percent of girls walking on the earth. u cant, so u can get only 90% of them, now among them about 50 percent is going to fall for u from the very first meeting and another 40 percent will see u as a guy standing out. now among this 40 percent ones also, u cannot get all of them. and i tell u what determined that these 40 percents wont give u a mind that much, because u r not upto their social value, now starting from there to gain that social value and then u can actually start playing ur game, its a uphill battle. it will take time. these are all rough sketches though, dont believe them that much but the concept is true i think. and i tell u wat, its ultimately a number game. u play the game well, that makes a difference but ultimately, its always how many women u meet or know that counts.

 

[ketostix]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=131252

Wow I just noticed the link. I think I put down so pretty good ideas in it if I do say so myself .

 

[ketostix]

Wow, I disagree with almost every reply in this thread.

How many cold approaches have you guys done? Attraction CAN be built from scratch. I've done it countless times. I've talked to girls after I've slept with them to have them tell me that I made an awful first impression, but I slowly won them over. Usually, there's one thing I did or said that "tipped the balance" in my favor, and they suddenly liked me.

This happens ALL the time. This is what this community is based upon. If you guys want to sit around and wait for girls to be attracted to you, that's cool. Maybe you're really good looking or something. But sorry, I see WAY too many hot girls every day to just let them pass me by without trying.

I somewhat agree with you that you can build attraction from a very low baseline. But what I think what you are describing is more of attraction leading to the close more so than whether or not there was any attraction from the start. Women are always nitpicking and screening even when they are somewhat attracted to you from the get go. This is why I'm not a big believer that women who are interested always show it or that it's a guarantee you be able to capitalize on it even if she does.

 

[ketostix]

Attraction is an illusion made real from confidence.

Confidence is an illusion made real by attraction, too.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Confidence is an illusion made real by attraction, too.

And boob jobs are an illusion created by real doctors.


Yeah...

Top that sh!t.

 

[ready123]

Entropy's right. Just think of a sarge or social situation where you started off low value and got indifference. Then through massive social proof or some other means, your value skyrocketed. You should have been able to feel the rise in attraction

Don't make the mistake of assuming attraction for women works the same way attraction for guys does. it doesn't

 

[Rho]

It works on me. I often meet a girl who will do nothing for me initially then over the period of a few minutes/hours/days/weeks she will have grown on me and I will want to fvck her silly! My friends and I call these girls "growers"

ME: I wanna bang her!
FRIEND: eww man!
ME: Wait a while, she is a grower.
(time passes)
FRIEND: You were right...

 

[Entropy4]

I somewhat agree with you that you can build attraction from a very low baseline. But what I think what you are describing is more of attraction leading to the close more so than whether or not there was any attraction from the start. Women are always nitpicking and screening even when they are somewhat attracted to you from the get go. This is why I'm not a big believer that women who are interested always show it or that it's a guarantee you be able to capitalize on it even if she does.

In some cases, yes. But again, I've slept with girls and had them look me in the eye and say, "I didn't find you attractive at all when I first met you. In fact, I can't believe this happened. How did this happen?"

That's the foundation of the seduction community, creating attraction through our words, not our looks or status or social circles. It's why we go out and do hundreds of cold approaches.

To believe that attraction is just there from the start and you can't do anything about it, is to give up. You're resigning yourself. You're giving the power of sexual selection back to women. If you haven't seen this happen in person, you simply don't go out enough and don't approach enough. It's an excuse to remain immobile and not do anything about your future, an excuse to be complacent and continue whining about how you don't get the girls you want.

You're not going to get girls you want unless you go out there AND MAKE IT HAPPEN.