ATTN: Metaphysikal_Lover

[Walden]

Sensei , I'd like to ask your advice.

A guy I know has a real bad approach phobia like I used to have.
He asked me how I got over it , and I told him it was using a mental visualisation trick that I developed. He asked me to tell him how to do it.

Thing is I spent a lot of time training, reading ,studying NLP, and trying to force myself to do sets and hating the fact that I couldn't and none of it did d!ck until I just tried out an idea that had been in the back of my mind, it worked and within two weeks I was an approach *machine*.

I hafta be honest and say I'm reluctant to just share that, cos it was hard earned, and I feel like an asshle for feeling that way.

Am I being a d!ck here or what?

 

[MindOverMatter]

I'm not who you're looking for, but there are many ways to get over an approach phobia, you don't HAVE to tell him the one that worked out for you if its that private.

This is how I explained it to my friend:

Picture a pool of cold water. If you dip your foot in to test the temperature, you will feel a freezing cold and wont want to jump in the pool. But if you just grit your teeth and jump in, you will be cold for like 10 seconds, but then your body will get used to the temperature, and the water will feel normal, and natural.

It's like that when you see a good looking girl you want to approach. Thinking about what to say, waiting for the perfect oppurunity, etc, is all just dipping your foot in the water. In the end, you overthink, and you scare yourself out of approaching. Instead, just walk up to her and start talking. It will feel awkward at first, but soon you relax and it feels natural. Act first, and let your brain catch up.

And if you f*ck up, who cares? You will never see her again, and she will go home happy that some random a$$hole hit on her. Either way, you're doing her and yourself a favor by approaching her.

 

[Metaphysikal_Lover]

Yes you are being a dyck! You spent all that time developing something and your not willing to reach out and help. Why do you think I even bother coming here.

I spent years developing my game and I enjoy passing on what I know. I know that it will come back to me in many ways.

You need to step up and become a Sensei yourself. Don't be afraid of competition from a buddy. There are plenty to go around for everyone.

Infact why don't you post your meditation work for everyone to benefit from?

 

[Walden]

Oos! Thank you.

It's copied below.


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Now this won't be e big revealation to most of you , but what it did for me was enable me to blast through my approach phobia in about 2 weeks.

Every morning when I woke up and evening before I went to sleep I listened to a mix tape of 4 songs that put me in an outgoing, fun confident mood.
(Eg Geto Boys - D@mn it feels good to be a gangster, De La's - Oooh, DMX's -X gonna give it to you and Sinatra's - Meet me at the Copa). While I listened I made a music video in my head of myself DJing , making good cold openings, moving for the close , and occasionally f*** closing.

See the mind doesn't think "What should I do now" or "what is best for me here" I thinks "What do I usually do in this situation and directs you to that.

As a baby DJ you usually wuss out.

Fortunately your mind can't tell between imagination and reality , so you can use this quirk to reprogram what you "usually" do.

I used this andrather than going out forcing myself to sarge , I just let my mind give me more and better promptings to act, and within 2 weeks I was consistently following them automatically.

 

[Metaphysikal_Lover]

Nice! Good use of music to reach into the subconscious mind and create a successful mood and attitude.