Attitude

[Desert Rose]

Alright, I have been out of my relationship for good couple months. I have improved myself in many ways since then: I was in good shape but now I'm in amazing shape, I read more books on life and how to live it to the fullest, and I'm concentrating on my dreams and how I look at my life.

However, I always find myself thinking of my ex and how much I wanna rub it in her face that I am a ****ing king! I don't miss her at all, but I don't like the fact that I'm always searching for her and I want her to see that she ****ed herself over. We were dating for four years and we both went our seperate ways. I view this as counter productive on my part though because I really shouldn't care what she thinks or feels. I'd like for you guys to give me some insight on this and how I can change my way of thinking.

 

[A D]

Have you been hooking up with other girls? Maybe you should do that.

Looks like you have other areas of your life covered pretty well in the past couple of months.

 

[dannyegg4575]

Desert, it's normal and it will not be an overnight thing.

If you can do it, I'd say you're heartless. But bear in mind, all women are biatches... They'd do to you the same you would do to them. Don't get caught up in onegina.

You simply have to move to a different girl and find the right one and start a new beginning. Because each time you check in on her, it gets harder for you to get away.

We guys are too sentimental. You need to learn to be more free spirited and let go. She came to your life for a reason and that reason is for you to learn something.

If I look back now, i see my ex-wife as the teacher of emotional control. Everything that i learn about emotion was taught by her. The day she left, I took it within my power to learn how to cope with things. She was always the smarter one in our relationship, i just never realized it til it was too late.

then came my ex a few months back. Where my exwife gave me emotional intelligence, my ex gave me social intelligence. Through her, I learned the importance of status.

See? now ask yourself, what did you learn from your ex? Move on to the next girl and see what you can learn from her. Life is a nagging teacher. pay close attention, class is always in session.

 

[WC2]

Like Danny said, it's not something that you're going to get over right away. Memories of ex's are toxic to the mind and that's why it's best to cut them off for awhile until you've totally regained your inner (single) self.

Feeling the need to show your ex that you're becoming successful is natural. However, it's not healthy. You need to show YOURSELF that you're successful and enjoy your own successes. Wherever your ex is/what she is doing should not be important to you. If you're working on your ambitions on the base of trying to impress your ex-lovers, then you really have no SOLID base. Your base should be yourself.

I once knew someone who was in a relationship with his girl. She was a gold digger. She was obsessed with money and designer clothes. Knowing this, he started studying the stock market and taking a real interest into it. He started investing in hopes of showing his GF that he was interested in becoming wealthy. He built his base off of HER. Well as time would tell, she left him for another man and guess what happened? All his dreams of investing went down the drain. He didn't have a BASE anymore. Instead of building his base off things HE wanted to do, he built his base off things SHE wanted. This was a tough lesson to learn for him.

Trust me, the time will come when your successes will become apparent to others (including your ex). But by this time hopefully you will not CARE what she thinks of you.

In a sense by you telling us that you want to show your ex what you've been doing with your life, you're also telling us that you still have feelings with her and that if she were to come running back later on, you would take her back.

This is nonsense. I can tell by the way you tell your story that you carried most the emotional baggage out of the breakup. It's time to drop this baggage and get her name out of your life. Like I said, thoughts of your ex are toxic to your everyday life. Deep down you know that she really isn't that special, but your mind insists on fantasizing the fact that you may be able to get her back into your life. Use this knowledge and force yourself to drop her. Period.

To answer your question, your attitude should be based on how you feel about yourself and not how you want your ex to feel about you. You are your own person.

 

[vagrant]

There shouldn't be any such thing as revenge. It just so happened that it was your girlfriend that broke up with you.

If your girl isn't happy with you anymore, most likely that it was because of you anyways. You can't blame her. She's not happy anymore.

Would you want your girl thinking about revenge if you break up with her when you're not happy with her anymore? You'll understand if it was you who wanted to break up with her.

Find out why she ended it with you and see if it was reasonable!~

 

[Desert Rose]

She didn't "end" it so to speak, we were on a break and she fooled around so I didn't get back together with her. She is a horrible person and really does not deserve me at all, and there is no way in hell I'd ever talk to her again. Ive realized a lot of what you guys are saying for myself already; I'm such a competitive person and I always want to win no matter what or who against. I just realized that it seemed like a game to me; an easy way to win is to stop playing!

 

[WC2]

She didn't "end" it so to speak, we were on a break and she fooled around so I didn't get back together with her. She is a horrible person and really does not deserve me at all, and there is no way in hell I'd ever talk to her again. Ive realized a lot of what you guys are saying for myself already; I'm such a competitive person and I always want to win no matter what or who against. I just realized that it seemed like a game to me; an easy way to win is to stop playing!

Desert Rose, we are men. We are competitive, we always want to win!

The only problem is there is no win at this game. Only lose. You may have small victories, but the only outcome in the end is a loss. A loss of someone you love, a loss of pu$$y, however you look at it.

Breaks are 99.9% always the end game (I'm quoting joeker on that). It looks like you have a good head on your shoulders, so keep it that way. If you're going to play these games with your ex, just know there is no winner. Keep your emotions out of the game so you won't take it so seriously when you lose.

Keep improving yourself and good luck