Attention Wh0re or just insecure?

[violator]

I have known this particular girl for about 5 months and dated her maybe 5 times. She is a singlemother (red flag #1). She has 2 kids from different fathers (red flag #2). I met her at a club (red flag #3). She seems to be the party girl type, usually going out with her slutty friends to bars and clubs during the weekends (red flag #4). She also seems to suffer from bouts of depression (red flag #5).

Yes I know this girl has more red flags than a May Day parade on Red Square. But I am not interested in a serious relationship as she is not LTR material for sure. I am more interested in a FB type of relationship. She is quite hot and definitely MILF material. The thing is I have not been able to get beyond kissing with this girl.

Every time that I tried to take things to a different level she would say to me that she is not that kind of girl or that she likes to take things slow, but I think she is trying to put a "good girl" front to perhaps cover for her undoubteldy slutty past. She is also Latin so her ASD is higher than would be the usual case.

She also calls me more than I call her and has quite clearly indicated to me both verbally and through body language that she is attracted to me. She also thinks I am a player and is always joking that I must have many girl friends. She always asks probing questions like where I have been, with who, etc. so I know her IL is high or soit seems. She also has told me that she has been burned by her past relationships which may explain her perceived insecurity and her unwillingness to give it up to me just yet.

But at the same time, I get this nagging feeling that she may be just an attention wh0re and that she is playing me for a fool. Why do I say this? Because it seems trying to get a date with this girl is like pulling teeth. I set something up and then she says that she can't make it because of her kids, etc. Yet, just the other day she called me and told me that the night before she went out with her friends and came back at 7:00 in the morning. That same night I invited her to a game of pool and something to eat later on and she told me the same BS that she had to take care of her son. It is like she finds excuses to avoid me or maybe is afraid of getting deeply involved with me. That was two weeks ago and I have not called her since.

I have this feeling that she will call wondering why I have not called her (typical AW behavior). Should I just forget about her or should I set up a final ultimatum?

I am not desperate nor do I have oneitis as I have several girls in the pipeline, but this one is worth some effort because I would rate her an 8.5.

 

[violator]

Oops. Sorry, this should be in the discussion forum.

Can someone tell me how to transfer to DF?

 

[hardwork]

Discussion

Originally posted by violator
Oops. Sorry, this should be in the discussion forum.

Can someone tell me how to transfer to DF?

You're forgiven, so long as you help spread the Gospel:

DON'T POST QUESTIONS IN TIPS

Anyways, you have to wait for a friendly neighborhood mod to move your post; you can't move it yourself.

 

[TesuqueRed]

She probably is part AW.

She has let you know her "terms of engagement" (my guess: exclusivity and promise of LTR before you get anything...and even then, maybe you get nothing...)

It doesn't sound like you want to pay the cost. Fair enough. But she can tease and is hot and can make you regret it, can't she? You may not get what you want (ONS or STR) on your terms, which is really your question.

So if she is club hopping with slutty friends, is she letting other guys score? (btw, latinas can dress very provactively and not put out--it's a latin culture thing and latins know to read that behavior different than we do in anglo culture)

Anyway--she has 2 kids by 2 different guys and tends to get burned in relationships. It sounds like she falls for some type of low life. Figure out what that type is and you may get somewhere. I dunno if you want to get that low to score with her, though.

 

[violator]

Thanks for your insightful analyses, T-RED. Like always you are right on the money.

I also suspected that she was trying to lay the rules of engagement so to speak, but like I said this girl is not LTR material so I will not go that route.

You are also correct about Latin culture. There are many Latinas who dress like porn stars, but only do so to tease and don't put out. Does she score with the guys? I don't know and don't care. I figure she has some kind of a sex drive so maybe she is getting it at least from a safe source like her ex whom she still has contact with by virtue of her kid.

You are also correct about her low life ex's. The first ran out on her as soon as her daughter was born and has not seen him since. The second guy is a coke addict who nonetheless gives her child support. For all I know maybe she is still fycking him although she has told me that there is no sexual contact (taken with a grain of salt).

 

[myfriendblu]

Classic case of Low IL. violater, you need to go back to the drawing board and do some serious work on your IL insight. This is pretty obvious, and I bet that warning signs of her low IL having been popping up from day one, you just missed them.

The ability to read IL is the most important aspect of being a DJ

 

[violator]

Thanks for your input MyBlueFriend. I guess some would read it as low IL.

My take on it is that this girl is intimidated by me and probably suspects that I only want to fyck her (which is true). Like TRED said, she probably wants some kind of commitment before giving it up, but knows that she will not get that from me. I am a lawyer making lots of money. My status is beyond that what she is accustomed to. She is your standard lower class singlemother struggling to make ends meet to support her two kids. Her past relationships were with low class types and she knows that is all she will get.

In other words and at the risk of sounding pretentious, she probably thinks I am too good for her and therefore, probably thinks I am out to play her. Her defensive mechanism to deal with this is to simply shut me out and avoid me altogether to prevent getting burned again.

 

[silverwex]

I have known this particular girl for about 5 months and dated her maybe 5 times. She is a singlemother (red flag #1). She has 2 kids from different fathers (red flag #2). I met her at a club (red flag #3). She seems to be the party girl type, usually going out with her slutty friends to bars and clubs during the weekends (red flag #4). She also seems to suffer from bouts of depression (red flag #5).

LOL... great passage! Made me laugh man!

Anyway id just say: NEXT!

U said youve other girls in the pipeline - go date some of them!

And when red flag girl finds out she may be more willing to chill with ya.

Also, when red flag girl (well u didnt give a name! ) askes where ya were or what were ya doing say u were seeing other girls and having a laugh. CHALLENGE is the big word here.

Hope that helps!

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by violator
Thanks for your input MyBlueFriend. I guess some would read it as low IL.


In other words and at the risk of sounding pretentious, she probably thinks I am too good for her and therefore, probably thinks I am out to play her. Her defensive mechanism to deal with this is to simply shut me out and avoid me altogether to prevent getting burned again.

Oh I absolutely agree 100 percent. Thats probably whats going on. that would explain her lack of IL. Intimidation and self esteem can have a factor on IL. If she feels she is not worthy of you, which I think is what may be going on, that would DEFINITELY cause her drop in IL. Remember, just because a girl has low IL in you doesn't mean its your fault.

I have been in this situation many times. I think when a girl KNOWS she can't compare to you in the looks, class, or even both depo's and she KNOWS you can and have gotten better women, she WILL be intimidated. Been there done that.

Don't sweat it, get back out there.