"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Attempted pickup on vacation

LowPlainsDrifter

Senior Don Juan
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I just returned from a Club Med in the Caribbean. Didn't have too much success there, but I'm wondering what I may have done wrong with one particular woman.
She was by herself after dinner, hanging out by the bar. The dancing was relocated that night to the beachside patio, so it was quieter there. I chatted her up, and we talked for over an hour. We parted company on a really good note, so I thought for sure I had at least a dance partner for the following day.
I ran into her around breakfast time the next morning (said a quick hello) and later on around lunch I basically asked her if she'd like to join me on the dance floor later on. With a smile she replied, "yes, but probably with a few drinks in me beforehand."
However, later on that night during the brief downtime between the show the staff put on and the actual dancing, I ran into her.
She told me that "someone was teaching her how to play pool" but actually sat down with a group of people I couldn't see clearly, and then about an hour later was chatting with and then dancing with some other guy.
From that point on during the remainder of my stay, I didn't make one stitch of eye contact with her.
Now, she didn't dance very long with "Mr. Better Offer" - should I have asked again after the two of them parted company? She was alone on the periphery of the dance floor for quite a while afterward.
Was it wise to make myself scarce during the day leading up to the evening's festivities? I've intuitively felt that in a small place like a resort it's best not to run into someone again and again, or have too many convos before the "big night."
Anyone care to weigh in?
Many thanks...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Diaforetikos

Senior Don Juan
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I woulda of took her by the hand when she waswith Mr. Better Offer. You asked once to dance, and she said yes. So o viously, she's no coming to you, so you go get what was promised to you. Gently grab her by the hand, and lead her. Excuse yourself and say she owes me a dance.

Women like to be lead. Take charge mate. Men are leaders, so be a leader.
 

Mike32ct

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I think you should have invited her to your room the first night to "watch tv" or "check out the cool view of the ocean" or some bs like that.

She was at the bar by herself. You had an hour of good convo. That is probably enough for you to close.

However, prior to the close, try some light kino at the bar. Touch her wrist while making a point. She doesn't pull away? Good. Touch her hand a little while later. She doesn't pull away? Good. A little while later rest your hand on hers. Eventually rest your hand on her thigh. She doesn't pull away and still makes good eye contact? She's probably good to go.

You used the Day 2 approach. While that can work, the risk is that she can change her mind about you. I suspect that is what happened. Your idea about making yourself scarce in the meantime was good, but I think it would have been better to try for a same night lay.
 
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