attempted kiss close again, is it over now?

drift_king · Nov 1, 2009

this girl i messed up with a month ago, we finally met up again for the 3rd time. its freexzing here so all my plans went up in the air, i couldnt get a cab to where i wanted to go that was more romantic so i had to choose plan b when we were outside waiting.

so i decided to start walking to my plan b then a cab came and i chose plan c which wasnt the best idea cos it was so busy at the little quiet cafe that i couldnt get a seat next to her only opposite her.

now i knew from this location i couldnt escalate kino if she sits opposite me.

even walking her back to dorms it was so cold outside like -2C that there was no way i could just stop her and kiss her. i attempted halfway through as we were crossing the road i grabbed her held her close then attempted a kiss but missed and kissed the back of her head and her hair. she was a bit startled.

does she have no interest in me anymore? its like as if i had a 2nd chance and blew it purely cos i didnt take her to a proper location where i could kiss close her.

drift_king · Nov 1, 2009

i put so much pressure on myself that cos this was the 3rd meeting i had to kiss close her or its over, when i attempted again when i took her back to dorms outside she asked me what i was doing, and i said kissing u, she said no no, then moved away. she probably wont want to spend time with me anymore i guess?#

cos there was such a long time lag between us meeting up i should have used this date as a casual in between, cos i think she was mad before that i was trying too fast too much rather than making her feel at ease. i feel like a failure cos i couldnt kiss close her.

is this over or do i try something else next time, non date related, i.e. an action date like teach her golf or something? lots of kino, little oppportunity for kissing.

i feel as if i should apologise for attempting kiss close, but i know thats unmanly and i shouldnt apologise for my actions. i feel so friendzoned.

its always the 1s u really want when u f up the most..

black-n-white911 · Nov 1, 2009

yeah you know where you went wrong.. you liked her probably 10 times than she liked u and you were thinking negatively so the attraction was never gonna level out that night.. live and learn..

drift_king · Nov 1, 2009

i just realised i may have been friendzoned last night, is that a distinct possibility?

at the beginning of the date she let me grab her hand and hold hands with her, i was just testing her compliance. but at the end it was like no.

i dont know how to build rapport when im sitting across from a girl without being able to kino. i feel neuteured. maybe she got an 'eww' effect cos i attempted a kiss close at end of the night, am i moving too fast?? that's what she 'says' but judging her actions i cant tell at all.

i just think about her reaction and i wonder if i am or not. i even queried her last time why on our 2nd date she intro'd me to her roommate as 'my friend..' she said 'well what are we?' i said 'well we're not friends. i was your date.' she goes 'but last time wasn't a date'. it was quite awkward after that.. i was so scared of getting friendzoned i felt i had to stupidly go for the kiss close.

am i friendzoned??

thecurtainfalls · Nov 1, 2009

#1: Yes, you're friend-zoned.

#2: You are putting wayyy too much pressure on yourself and the situation. Never impose arbitrary rules for yourself like "oh god this is the 3rd time we've hung out, gotta force something!" Yea you don't want to wait too long to make a move but you probably operated kinda awkwardly throughout.

Realistically though, it's tough to know whether you blew it via your actions or she just never saw you as more than a friend in the first place. The bottom line is, if a girl wants to kiss you, she'll let it happen even if the initiation of the kiss is a little awkward.

drift_king · Nov 1, 2009

thecurtainfalls said:
#1: Yes, you're friend-zoned.

#2: You are putting wayyy too much pressure on yourself and the situation. Never impose arbitrary rules for yourself like "oh god this is the 3rd time we've hung out, gotta force something!" Yea you don't want to wait too long to make a move but you probably operated kinda awkwardly throughout.

Realistically though, it's tough to know whether you blew it via your actions or she just never saw you as more than a friend in the first place. The bottom line is, if a girl wants to kiss you, she'll let it happen even if the initiation of the kiss is a little awkward.

it was freezing outside like -2C and she didnt really want to stand outside her dorms any longer hence her not letting me kiss her.

how the hell do you when sitting opposite a girl without kino manage to raise interest??

is it even possible? i couldnt lean all the way over to kino her she was just too far!

i mean i was quite smooth in some parts of the date, had her laughing, but then in other parts when i realised i was getting friendzoned purely cos i couldn't kino her i started to panic and thats when the convo dwindled a bit.

i should mention that she doesn't trust me cos a mutual friend 'thinks' i liked her 1st and when that didn't work out i moved on to this 1.. i was like 'huh?? no! i was never interested in her.' i was shocked when she told me this and spent the next 2 mins professing my innocence.

this is what made it weird cos i felt i was losing her and her IL was dropping but at the same time she still didnt trust me.

how the hell are u suppose to increase IL when u dont get to kino?

obviously it was my mistake going to the place where we went, and i put myself under way too much pressure.

is there any way i can salvage this? she had such high interest before.

CarlitosWay · Dec 16, 2009

It will take something drastic to get her IL back up to where you need it. I say cut your losses and move on. I'll run you down through my date last night and you maybe can get a few pointers for next dates. Absorb what you can see yourself doing well as we each have our own unique individual styles. (As I like to call mine the sexy suave Latino estylo)

Can't stress how from the first time you pick up the phone or talk to her. Be in CONTROL. Say I will get you at this time, I will take care of this. Lets go here. I emphasized this after she texted me yesterday saying "I know we only talked about it for a little bit, but are we still going to hang out later" I call her keep it short and sweet (IMO I say f*k constant textin unless you're a prepubescent teen still) Tell her I will figure something out...she says where, what, when? I say don't worry sweetie I have "everything under control!"

I'll pick you up 7ish.

My hookah lounge date.....picked her up in the whip. Get out of the car give her a huge hug and say enthusiastically and confidently "What's up hun, how you doin'?. We jump in the car, I play some lively music (reggaeton CHEA!) quick small talk. Damn notice she absolutely can not stop playing with her hair(this went on the whole entire night) Maybe OCD? or green light for damn I'm so attracted to you it makes me a bit nervous? ha

I tell her lets go sit at this comfy couch. I smoked some hookah...first time for her. She's not into it really NO BIGGIE...chit chat laugh, light brushes on her knees/legs and she returns. After she says something I like/agree to I say "damn you get one cool point". Then would later take it away when she says something I don't like "I like country a lot" LOL just good nature teasin her all night.

So she doesn't like hookah, I'm like plan b. Lets shoot some damn pool. We both joke earlier about how we suck lol . She starts talkin' up her game though. I'm like game on! I set up a game...locals come over to play 2v2.
I introduce her and myself to everyone (big group girls/guys). I joked with all of them as if I've known them before that night. BOOM social value goes up. Had a great time we won, high fives and we both laugh cause we suck at pool!

I tell her I'm ready to get out of here. We roll out and I know I have this eezy peezy. Take her home...she literally fidgets trying to find her keys forever. I nonchalantly walked up say "hun I've got to go" give her a big hug. We lightly touch foreheads. I passionately kiss her with all my might. She gets weak at the knees and still can't find her damn keys!!

Take home message is....you have the power to decide what runs through their head at the end of the night. You want her thinking "Damn I had an awesome time, he's awesome, respectful of others, a MAN, takes pride in himself, his culture, is confident, doesn't take flack from no one, makes me feel safe, full of surprises, has fun no matter what and kisses with raw ****in' passion!" k won't be exactly like that but pretty damn similar

nonetheless.
Oh and at the start of the date I told her....I had something else planned out but it didn't pan out cause of the weather. She got REALLY curious about what other date idea I had. I teased her and said it's a surprise and I can't tell you. It excited her very much and she kept trying to get me to clue her in. Which I did a little which only fueled her curiosity even more. So in essence I created more time for us in the future with out really trying

.

So in the end stop pressuring yourself just say "Fu-k it I'm going to go have fun myself, with my date and everyone in the fukin joint!" Notice I said myself first and her second. Cause she will literally feed off you! Remember this. Be a rock *****ing solid man!

horaholic · Dec 16, 2009

It was over two months ago, you just cant take the hint, or any advice given to you here. Take Carlitos advice for the NEXT girl you meet.

eaglez1177 · Dec 16, 2009

I still dont understand how a person can go in for a kiss close and wind up MISSING and instead kissing the hair/back of head...that just amazes me

romangod · Dec 16, 2009

Time for Plan "D".

Cheers!

CarlitosWay · Dec 16, 2009

hmm 2 months eh?

horaholic said:
It was over two months ago, you just cant take the hint, or any advice given to you here. Take Carlitos advice for the NEXT girl you meet.

Over 2 months? Wtf is this guy doing? Seriously in this time guy should have had at least 2-3 more girls on your radar who you felt had good IL's. Felt I wasted my time with my other post now...ffs.

Pimp-sicle · Dec 16, 2009

:moon:

PIMP

eaglez1177 · Dec 16, 2009

^ahahahaa

What a fvckin loser

Gangster Of Love · Dec 16, 2009

eaglez1177 said:
^ahahahaa

What a fvckin loser

Those are just his posts under Drift, he's also Pikachu, and probably pete101.

Prodigy746 · Dec 16, 2009

eaglez1177 said:
I still dont understand how a person can go in for a kiss close and wind up MISSING and instead kissing the hair/back of head...that just amazes me

hahah thats the same thing i was wondering. how the hack do you get back of the head lol!!!!!!!

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

attempted kiss close again, is it over now?

drift_king

Don Juan

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

drift_king

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black-n-white911

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drift_king

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thecurtainfalls

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drift_king

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horaholic

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romangod

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CarlitosWay

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eaglez1177

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Gangster Of Love

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Prodigy746

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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"