"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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At what ages does living at home becoming AFC?

GQ_Confidence_1

Don Juan
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The country is too varied for a 1 size fits all answer....

-If you live in Kansas or Iowa. And you can rent an apartment on $10 or $15 an hour, you could move at 18 or 20.

If you're past 22 or 24 and you can easily live on your own, then it's going to look bad.

-If you live on Long Island or So Cal (or San Francisco). Different ball game. As long as you're responsible and doing something with your life, it shouldn't matter. The people you date are going to be in a similar boat.

I think it only looks weird when you're doing something completely opposite of what everyone else in your town, city are doing. If everyone moved at 21, and is living easy, and you're 26 in your childhood bedroom...then its going to look weird.

If you're 25 at home, and others are 23 or 24, and you're all working and stuff, it won't look so weird.

But in a lot of places, you're better off living at home and saving for a home, than throwing money away on rent.
 

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FairShake

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As long as you're contributing to the house fund then it shouldn't be a problem. I grew up in a fairly poor area. Ironically, people I grew up with either moved out really early, like, say, 16 or so, or are still at home in their late 20s or early 30s. Sometimes later.

Now, fwiw, smart and independent women probably won't understand staying at home and saving money or helping out your folks. You'd have to be pretty smooth to sort that one out. But it can be done I think. I moved back in for a year in 2006 because my father was sick. I still brought them home. If you have money and other things going for you and can pay for yourself and them (sometimes) when you're out I think a select few won't mind.
 

Demon

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United States
"According to the Census Bureau, fully one-third of young men ages 22 to 34 are still living at home with their parents -- a roughly 100 percent increase in the past 20 years." (Washington Post) Why? Increasing housing costs, increasing costs of living, declining median income for young men, economic downturn, etc.

"By the 1950s and 1960s, most Americans viewed family roles and adult responsibilities as nearly synonymous. In that era, most women married before they were 21 and had at least one child before they were 23. For men, having the means to marry and support a family was the defining characteristic of adulthood, while for women, merely getting married and becoming a mother conferred adult status." (What Makes A Grown Up?)

The idea that young men should move out in their early 20s is a remnant of the Baby Boomer era. As gender equalization moves forward, with the median income and the availability of more job opportunities for women increasing, we'll see this unrealistic expectation become more distant. There is an apparent direct correlation between why young women move out and why young men move out.

I might add that young women probably receive far more economic support from their parents or caretakers than do young men where leaving home is concerned. (Young wemen also tend to move out in pursuit of higher education whereas young men tend to move out for... other pursuits.) Young men are also normally expected to be independent despite the reality being more in line with England's situation where the cultural shift has already taken place.

England
"But while four in 10 women in England aged 20 to 24 still live with their parents, the figure rises to six in 10 when it comes to men." (BBC UK)

"The people who leave home last are, and have always been, working-class men. In the past, people would leave the parental home and go into the marital home. That persists today more among young men of a working-class background. They go from being cared for by their mothers to being cared for by their wives." (Gill Jones, author, "Leaving Home")

Living at home is a social-class issue in England (and probably in the U.S. as well.) I know this is a social-class issue in the Phillipines.

Italy
"More than 80% of Italian men aged 18–30 live with their parents. We argue that one contributing factor to this remarkably high rate of cohabitation is parents' tastes for coresidence." (Journal of the European Economic Association)

Living at home is a cultural issue in Italy.
 

I'm Charming

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GQ_Confidence_1 said:
The country is too varied for a 1 size fits all answer....
This world. I'm Scottish :up:

JDA70 said:
It matters how much you makeand what your doing with it.

I don't see how this has anything to do with being
an average frustrated chump with women.
WHat about a person that is on disability but doesn't
get enough money to live on thier own?


Why in America is there this attitude that if
you ain't out by 25 or so your a loser?
I realise the topic title is a bit provocative, but I also realise that topics with the AFC acronym get a lot more interest. The 'what if' question is really an extremely circumstantial question, I'm just talking about regular people that are fully healthy.

I think the attitude comes from the fact that living at home for too long could be seen as lazy, too comfortable, I want to move out asap because I like the degree of independence it entails.

The live at home attitude until mid twenties, from what I see, seems to be more a comfort thing unless you have a severe financial, locational problem with renting your own flat etc.

I'm always being reminded on this site that 'Life = Risk', well is it really risky to be comfortably living at home until your mid twenties?
 

Dedication

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I do not have an opinion for when people should move out of thier parents house. Its all up to the person what he wants and decides.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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