At university: button down shirt and jeans overdressed and 'trying to hard'?

[DiegoSantori]

Hey, I'm attending an institution of higher education and I like to wear nice button down shirts and dark jeans, which I personally would consider business casual.

I know, there is a huge social component to dressing. I've noticed that some women were diggin' it (they paid me compliments), while other fellow students were giving me a skeptical look like I was bragging or trying too hard.

The problem is that all the other male students are wearing plain T-shirts and functional, random clothes which makes me look REALLY, REALLY overdressed.

I also have the impression that a female student wearing business clothes is more accepted than a male student wearing business clothes, but maybe I'm wrong. (Please tell me your experience!)

There was a period of time when I didn't really care about what other people were thinking but then I saw another student wearing business clothes and it made me think: "What a try-hard........ Wait! My style is similar. Does this make me a try-hard too?"

I know, some might say, that external validation doesn't matter and that internal validation is much more important but it is quite striking how some people distance themselves from you when you wear business clothes and reapproach you when you wear non-business clothes.

I mean, it's strange how I constantly feel like I have to justify why I care about my appearance.

 

[Fitters]

Dress to feel good about YOURSELF.
If you feel confident in them ...then DON'T worry what others think.

 

[Eljuego]

IMO jeans are never formal nor are they business casual. I don't care how expensive the jeans are, they are never formal. Jeans for me are very casual. You wear a shirt with jeans...smart casual. No problem with that for your situation and certainly not overdressed.

If other people are wearing t-shirts that's their perogative.

Now, why are you feeling unsure...

Is it possible that your judgement of others....(you made a comment about someone "what a try hard.....") is coming back to haunt you? That is to say, "if I'm thinking that about them, they could be thinking the same about me"

It's like people that talk about others behind their back and then get paranoid thinking others are talking about them, see?

IMO it's better to be overdressed than underdressed. It's better to look your best every day.

Before you leave your house make sure your style suits you and you feel comfortable. Say to yourself "I look good and I feel great". If in that moment you have some doubts about what you just said....your not digging something about your style or your wardrobe. If no doubts come up...what you're wearing is congruent with who you are and what you think about yourself....

 

[DiegoSantori]

IMO jeans are never formal nor are they business casual. I don't care how expensive the jeans are, they are never formal. Jeans for me are very casual. You wear a shirt with jeans...smart casual. No problem with that for your situation and certainly not overdressed.

You're right. I've used the wrong term. But thank you for mentioning this aspect, because this shows me that it's hard to call my style "overdressed". I don't wear a suit, I'm just slightly "better dressed" than my fellow male students.

Is it possible that your judgement of others....(you made a comment about someone "what a try hard.....") is coming back to haunt you? That is to say, "if I'm thinking that about them, they could be thinking the same about me"

This could be true. I can only guess what other people are thinking and feeling from subtle non-verbal signals but at the end of the day, I will never know it and I will always, to some degree, project my way of looking at things onto others but I guess, this is part of human nature.

Nevertheless I have to say, I tend to overanalyze conversations and body language, a trait which I'm trying to get rid of and I believe, I'm headed in the right direction, it will just take some time.

 

[dannycc]

It's college. Wear what you want.