Assume the best?

[Ixnys]

So I'm out meeting this girl for the first time. I'm teasing, negging, and doing some kino (touch arm, shoulder, etc). Girl is somewhat responsive but things haven't really transitioned to that sexual state. It's still ambivalent whether she is REALLY in to me. I just gotta assume that she has to have some interest since she is there and I'm good looking.

Do you find you just have to assume that she is into you and proceed accordingly by upping the kino even more, going for the kiss, etc? Basically do you find yourself taking the lead and making the moves sometimes even when she hasn't really revealed whether she is attracted to you?

 

[Mr. Me]

Do you find you just have to assume that she is into you

Not really... I'm positive but don't make assumptions.

I just gotta assume that she has to have some interest since she is there and I'm good looking.

Those assumptions are not necessarily true on her part.

doing some kino (touch arm, shoulder, etc)... It's still ambivalent whether she is REALLY in to me.

Well, maybe you need to back off some to see if she fills in the void. If you're touching her, then that's signaling your interest and she doesn't have to signal hers. I think kino works better when they're interested.

Basically do you find yourself taking the lead and making the moves sometimes even when she hasn't really revealed whether she is attracted to you?

When you really can't tell, I find you have to either ask for their number if you've just met them, or if it's the first date or so, go for the kiss. That's the only way to really tell when you can't tell.

 

[ready123]

for upping the kino, and escalation, there's a whole art to it. for one, there's always a right time and a wrong time to do it - a window, for escalation. you learn to recognize this window through experience and not do certain things because of the negative subcommunication. like one thing some guys with no experience do when going for the kiss is just charge their face right in from like 4 feet away, which is pretty bad

ultimately a guy learns when to escalate and make a move through experience. he becomes familiar with certain vibes and learns to read the subtleties of the interaction. he's able to recognize these opportunities, when the girl actually WANTS him to kiss her, isolate her, etc. and then he goes for it instead of doubting himself. and if by chance he was wrong, he knows how to recover his value (and it's not by nexting her)

if you're unable to read the subtleties of the interaction and you're going in blind, just keep putting yourself out there until it makes sense to you. you may lose a few girls in the process but that's how it goes for every guy who wasn't born a natural

 

[Ixnys]

I know guys and girls think differently. As a guy there are some girls who you know are just universally hot or cute. So you gotta figure they would think that just about anyone would think they were attractive and should be confident. I myself get compliments on my looks all the time from older woman and not the girls in my age range (I would like to think that girls in my age group are too shy to just blatantly tell me I'm hot to my face...but who knows).

So I would have to hopefully conclude that I've got the looks part down and that at least I'm universally attractive enough that most girls would think so as well. However it seems that the consensus here is that girls are not into looks as much as guys are. So that being said you gotta win them over with your personality.

See if girls thought the way guys did I would know that I'm good looking enough to get any girl and would act accordingly. However maybe I'm an example that good looks won't get you all the girls if you don't know how to game and take the initiative. Basically girls aren't just falling over me at the club. I'm somewhat of a shy guy so I'm trying to learn to be more aggressive and know how to seduce girls and be able tell if they are sexually interested in me.

 

[LeComteDeMonteCristo]

Always assume it's on, man. Always assume attraction. Over-analyzing and looking for Indicators of Interest or whatever is weak. Just use your basic social intelligence and escalate, escalate, escalate. Ramp up the sexual tension.