"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Sharkie

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Alright guys I don't post much, used to come around a bit and read up and just came back a few weeks ago.

Anyway this HB8.5 I have been casually dating has informed me recently that when she went to the doctor about her emotional problems he wanted to put her in a psychiatric ward!

I am freaked she may do something terrible when I NEXT her. She knows where I live and seems stalkerish. I want to make sure she is off my back and doesn't do anything stupid or attempt to give me any grief. I want to get rid of the "I feel responsible for her actions" feeling.

I have been lookin around the site for anything helpful this last week but, my thinking is hinderd. Is there any articles that may be helpful for me to read up on, if so, could someone direct me to it/them? Or just give me a tounge lashing I may need!!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Wyldfire

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Just hope she doesn't have Borderline Personality Disorder. My ex husband has that and he is STILL obsessing over me leaving him back in 1994. :eek:
 
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squirrels

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Sit down with her and just tell her it's not working out romantically between the two of you, but you still want to be friends.

Make it as soft as possible and remain friendly.

You CAN'T hold yourself responsible for her. Everyone is responsible for their own actions. If she goes and slits her wrists, I hate to sound cold about it, but that's HER problem...and a pretty BIG one at that.

Once you're on the friend-level, just slowly fade away and lose contact.

If she starts stalking you, call the cops. :p

I AM NOT speaking from experience...this is just how I'd handle it if it were me.
 
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insomniac

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Well, if they lock her up, you have nothing to worry about.

Seriously, what's her condition? If bipolar, I may be able to give you some insights, since I've dealt with that before. As far as feeling guilty and responsible, I can tell you now...even if you tried to help her and be there for her, she'd end up the same. With problems like these, there's nothing you can do to help.
 
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Sharkie

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I never found out what her actual condition was. However doing some research on borderline personality disorder has symptoms that I could associate with her. She did say that when they wanted to hospitilize her that she told them to f*** off!

Everything was going good untill I told her to slow down a notch, heck she even agreed she was moving too fast. Then she tells me about these dreams she was having. She lost a baby a little while ago and dreams that her baby is crying and she can't get to it?!?!? Anyone here interpret dreams?

I know I'm not responsible for her actions, though I am pretty sure I've had some influence. I don't even want to be friends with this girl. Since I've decided I'm no longer interested in her, she has been noticing it and craving attention like mad from others.

She did say that she was going to see another doctor, if this one trys to hospitilize her I sure hope she lets them. I need a beer!
I'll post back about this when I learn more...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Wyldfire

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People with BPD typically resist treatment for their condition. Their moods cycle hot and cold so fast it can make your head spin. Once they become comfortable with you...one minute they are obsessively in love with you and the next minute they obsessively hate you. They are very insecure and have a deep fear of being left. Some people with BPD self-mutilate (like cutting themselves) or attempt suicide (or threaten it). Basically, being involved with someone with this illness is like dealing with Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde and it's emotionally draining. It's insanity and emotional terrorism at it's absolute worst. BPD is similar to rapid cycling Bipolar Disorder in a lot of ways.
 
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My cousin ran into one who could have had mental issues. She use to come and honk horns at 2 in the morning, and wait for him in the morning and cus him out. If she starts stocking you, be sure to get a restraining order / no contact order. My cousin had to get that to get it girl off his back.
 
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Sharkie

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post traumatic stress disorder.

shes taking 7 meds. 3 nerve, 3 anti depresents and sleeping aide.

We happen to be chatting online now, I'm guessing she has taken her meds tonight...LOL
 
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Wyldfire

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Originally posted by Sharkie
post traumatic stress disorder.

shes taking 7 meds. 3 nerve, 3 anti depresents and sleeping aide.

We happen to be chatting online now, I'm guessing she has taken her meds tonight...LOL
Click to expand...
So that means she was either raped, molested or physically abused. That brings a whole other set of issues to the table. If this girl doesn't get extensive help and develop a survivor mentality rather than embrace victimhood she will not be easy to have a relationship with. Understand that up front.
 
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cave dweller

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go easy........

Hey,

She has snakes between her ears.

She will never get her mind right.

She will always be fvcked up. (in the head)

Go easy with this.

Slowly move from the dating status to a friendship status.

Good luck.

cave dweller
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Sharkie

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You all I can no believe this..

Today this chick went to a baby shower and ended up wrecking her car...swirving to miss a dog flipping it and totaling the vehicle.

I am just dumbfounded!
 
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flexion_

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Hmm... do you think there are some red flags here?
 
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Sharkie

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oh yeah...more have come about when i discussed just being friends with her.
 
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flexion_

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Good luck with that... been therein my past... my psycho relationship:

Was a HB9.0... solid... sex was amazing and...

1) she saw these flashes of light... like she was seeing some paranormal entity... LOL
2) saw items of hers moving around the room
3) had a ghost that lived in her place
4) tended to set things on fire???
5) said she was raped
etc....

this stuff all came out slowly over time...

Good thing is that I can see a person like this a mile away now...
 
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Sharkie

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Originally posted by flexion_
Good thing is that I can see a person like this a mile away now...
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Now I have better perception after this, talking with this girl makes me sick to my stomach, tonight I have decided to cut all ties with her. Even friendship.

I know some of ya said break it off slowly but screw it, I barely know this chic. Have to do what is best for me...Cold yeah, oh well.

Carry on the Don Juan!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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