"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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aspiring DJ... question about kids.

baseballfan

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Hi,

I'm an aspiring DJ, very new to the game. I got married at 19, and have been separated for about 7 months now (the only reason I've not finalized my divorce is that you have to be separated for a year in my state before a divorce can be finalized). Now, at 28, I'm looking to get into the dating scene. My question is about children, my marriage and the subsequent end to that marriage has left me with two boys, aged 5 and 6, that live with me for all but every other weekend. How does this really effect how I'm viewed with women?

I've been told by a former co-worker,(female) who was a friend at the time, that kids can attract women, but in my limited experience, any mention of them to a women, even in passing, seems to cause them to lose any and all interest in me.

Are there any other DJs out there that are also fathers? Is having kids a plus or a minus? Should I hide their existence till I've already made some progress?

Any and all help is appreciated.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

penkitten

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you wont be a single bachelor like you were before your marriage, because you always have the children around.
you can end up getting alot of women hanging around thinking that you need the help or that you need to replace their mother.
 

Daddy The Pimp

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baseballfan said:
I've been told by a former co-worker,(female) who was a friend at the time, that kids can attract women, but in my limited experience, any mention of them to a women, even in passing, seems to cause them to lose any and all interest in me.
I dont know what to say in this situation in very young but i heard ( from DYD i thing ) that getting advices from females is wrong -" u cant ask fish how to get fishes .. u better ask a good fisherman "
 

baseballfan

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Daddy The Pimp said:
" u cant ask fish how to get fishes .. u better ask a good fisherman "
OK, then I'm asking the fishermen out there, do I leave them out of the conversation, at least until there is sufficient IL? Or is it better to mention them (I'm not talking about spending the whole conversation about them, just a passing reference) early, as they are a big part of my life?
 

penkitten

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why cant you be able to say that you have children who are the most precious to your heart, and at the same time, say that you are not ready to have them meet anyone yet, as you do not want to confuse them.
most women in our age range, already have kids too and understand what you mean.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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